The Incoherent Ramblings of a Stay at Home Mom

When I'm the Boss of Me.

2012-02-09T14:04:00.000-06:00

We always play around with the girls telling them they have to listen to us because "we're the boss," and when they grow up, they will be their own boss and can do whatever they want.

This typically leads to a long conversation about all of the things they will be able to do when they are the boss of themselves.

Earlier this week, "Mary Kate" was quite curious of what her freedom would be like as a grown up. So she bombarded me with scenarios... It ended by melting my heart.

When I'm the Boss of me:

Will I be able to jump on the bed?

Yes.

Stay up as late as I want?

Yes, Ma'am.

Watch cartoons ALL Day?

If you want to.

Eat Candy anytime?

Yup!

Can I drink out of any cup I want to, like my princess cup?

Any cup you want.

But, Mommy? I can't reach the cups....

Sleep is for the Weak.

2012-02-07T20:22:00.000-06:00

Sleep deprivation is not just for Moms with infants... apparently.

The twins are going through a phase that I'm sure the Munchkin went through, but it seems magnified when there are two going through it at the same time.

We are in this weird in-between stage where they are just about out of napping, but can't quite make it to bedtime without one. Well, they can, but it results in tears from everyone in the house. Them, me, the Munchkin, me... We've always called it the "Witching Hour," only I thought that it was something we out grew, and we did, for a while.

Now, we're back.

If they don't take a nap, the upside is that it results in an early bedtime. The downside is that in order to get there the meltdowns are tenfold. The fighting? Out of control. Everyone is hyper sensitive, cranky and just downright miserable.

If they take a nap, the upside is that I get about 2 hours of "me" time in the afternoon. I use it to do laundry, clean the house and catch up on DVR. The downside is that they NEVER. GO. TO. BED. At 10pm they'll still be bouncing around the upstairs, talking, singing, coming down for a sip of water and nothing will suck the sexy out of your marriage like almost 4 year old's coming down the stairs interrupting you every 5 minutes.

In addition to the napping/going to bed issues, they get up early. Like, really early. So early that I'm beginning to question whether or not they actually came from my body. I like to sleep and consider anything before 7am stupid. I understand that it's a must, being a grown up and all, but you can bet I'm going to try for every last second of sleep I can get. For the twinlets anytime between the hours of 4am and 6am is fair game. So incredibly uncool. And we mustn't forget the 2am freak outs. (Did I mention we're also having attachment issues?)

All of this and a husband who snores. I deserve a medal.

How does a sleep loving Mom like myself catch a few extra z's? Sleep deprived Moms want to know.

Komen's Epic Fail

2012-02-04T08:04:00.000-06:00

Boy am I glad I don't run PR for the Susan G. Komen Foundation. This past week has been nothing but a complete and total debacle.

First, pulling it's funding from Planned Parenthood because of an investigation launched by Republican Rep. Cliff Stearns, a hard core anti-choice member of congress.

After feeling a shit ton of heat, SGK backed down stating:

"We want to apologize to the American public for recent decisions that cast doubt upon our commitment to our mission of saving women's lives.

The events of this week have been deeply unsettling for our supporters, partners and friends and all of us at Susan G. Komen. We have been distressed at the presumption that the changes made to our funding criteria were done for political reasons or to specifically penalize Planned Parenthood. They were not." (Right. Got it.)

Anyway.. So, now they have reversed their decision and things have gone back to the way they were before, right? Wrong. Oh, so wrong.

All they have done is alert people (who didn't take time to research,) to what they actually do with their money. Facebook is now a flutter with all of the anti-choicers pissed off because they didn't know that when they raised money and showed up to "Race for the Cure," they were actually supporting abortion.

They're dropping like flies Komen, I believe this is what you call a lose/lose situation.

DINOmite!

2012-02-03T16:34:00.000-06:00

I have a confession to make. I'm slightly obsessed with dinosaurs (and Alcatraz, but that's a whole other post) and I'm completely giddy that the Munchkin has been learning about them in school, she is also becoming obsessed with dino's, their history, and how they met their great demise.

She is thirsty for knowledge and we have been spending our afternoons and evenings googling random facts about Dinosaurs.

Did you know...

Dinosaurs have been found in 35 states?

Did you also know that the Brontosaurus never actually existed? When it was discovered, it was believed to be a different species than the Apatosaurus. In 1903 scientists realized that both dinosaurs where the same so they went back to calling it Apatosaurus.

(Do you really care?)

Google is so much easier than hitting up the library like I had to do in the good ol' days.

I don't geek out on many things, but Dinosaurs fascinate me.

This has also prompted me to start researching what Christians believe when it comes to Dinosaurs. The Husband and I were talking about it the other night, we were stumped. While I think most Christians believe that they existed, their time frame seems to be skewed as to what the scientists believe... It also varies greatly from Christian to Christian, this also fascinates me.

If you're a Christian reading this post, what are your thoughts on Dinosaurs and when/if they existed? I would love to hear your views.

Mirror Mirror

2012-01-30T16:18:00.000-06:00

The Munchkin changes her future profession like most people change their underwear, almost daily.

Lately she's been stuck on being a singer and recently proclaimed:

"Mom, You know, I was born to be a singer..."

When I inquired as to how she knew this, she replied:

"Well, because I have a great voice and you know, I'm beautiful."

Self confidence is not going to be a problem for this child.

Diet Hiatus

2012-01-29T19:17:00.004-06:00

I haven't done so well on the diet front this past week, it's so hard for me to get back on track when I've been out of town drinking, eating bad and missing sleep.

Tomorrow I'm back on it hard core. The birthday celebrations are over and I have no more excuses for false starts. I haven't weighed this week, I'm a little scared, to be honest. Maybe I'll get on the right track for a few days and then weigh in.. I so don't want to see a 5lb gain!!

Hooked up with an old friend that has started going back to spin classes so I'm planning to go with her this week, I've missed spin so much! It's the only exercise that I actually get lost in. LOVE. IT.

Goal this week:

Maintain my 6lb loss by the end of this week
Work out 6 days

Here we go!

The Recovery.

2012-01-25T09:56:00.000-06:00

It's no secret that at the ripe old age of 37, I can't party like I used to. Well, let's rephrase. I actually can party like I used to (there are pictures to prove it,) it's the recovery that gets me.

The girls and I headed north to Nashville this past weekend for 2 days filled with drinking, shopping, eating, drinking and well, more drinking. We got home at a decent time on Sunday yet I'm still struggling to catch up on my beauty sleep.

The weekend was absolutely perfect, we had some great food, we were able to sleep in, we got hit on by dudes, we made fun of dudes, we made up stories that dudes were so stupid they believed. The beer flowed like wine and the live music provided a great soundtrack for our weekend.

Thanks to the ladies that called in favors and left their little one's behind to celebrate my Birthday Month!

Now, who's next and where are we going?


Yummy Dinner at Rose Pepper Cantina. Best margarita I've ever had. Seriously.

When they turn on the house lights, it's time to go.

Nashville, Here We Come!

2012-01-20T09:18:00.000-06:00

Since it is still my birthday month - some girlfriends and I are leaving for a girls weekend in Nash-Vegas. Yip Yip Yippee!

It's been a week of snot, coughing, missed school, cancelled appointments, incredibly long waits at the Doctors office and massive ear infections leading to cranky not feeling well kids.

I can't even begin to explain how excited I am about getting away for 36 hours.

Diet be damned. I will eat yummy food and drink yummy adult beverages until I'm good and drunk, because I don't have to get up with kids at 6am the next morning.

Yip Yip Yippee!

Dear Jacks, Call Me!

2012-01-17T21:47:00.001-06:00

14 Days does not a Diet Make

2012-01-16T16:11:00.000-06:00

So this is the point in each and every diet where I get frustrated that I haven't lost every single pound I've set out to lose. It may have taken 2 years to put on, but 2 weeks should be more than enough time to lose it all back right? Of course!

If only it were that easy.

I know, I know. It takes time and 2 weeks is just barely scratching the surface.

I had lost 7 pounds, gained back 2 and lost 1 more for a net loss of 6 pounds in two weeks. Not shabby when you average that out to 3 pounds per week. In a month that would be 12 pounds and would put me under my first goal of 140, I don't think I'll maintain that pace but putting it in perspective helps motivate me to keep going.

I'm eating healthier than I have in a long time and have been working out regularly for a solid week (baby steps, people.) So, I know that losing this weight the healthy, slooooooow way will be better in the long run. No gimmicks.

Must.Keep.Going.

P.S. These PINK Method workouts rock! I *heart* them immensely!

Mortification: The Definition Of...

2012-01-13T14:06:00.000-06:00

I'm about to tell you a story. The events that took place are all true, no embellishment or exaggeration needed.

A Mommy walks into a Verzion store with two, 3 year olds in tow. She ~~asks~~, ~~begs~~, ~~warns,~~ bribes them to be on their best behavior while the Sales Guy switches out Mommy's old pee'd on phone for her brand new shiny one.

The promise of lunch and play time at a Chick-fil-a playplace hung in the balance, and the girls behaved swimmingly for the entire 45 minutes they were in the store. After a quick run by the bank the happy trio were on their way to claim their reward. For the children, playtime in a climate controlled, let's say for all intents and purposes, clean play area. For the Mommy, fairly uninterrupted time to eat and play with her new phone. Everyone would win.

Unless...

10 minutes into playtime one of the 3 year old's shit her pants, diarrhea style in the middle of the playroom.

One might think that's mortifying enough, not this family! This family likes to take it one step further, they like to push the boundaries, because a kid shitting their pants in an indoor playroom is not exactly new or original.

While many 3 year old's would be content to poop their pants and go on about their merry way, this 3 year old is nothing if not thorough by feeling the need to check and make sure that she did indeed make a mess of her pants in front of a room full of her peers. How? You might ask. By pulling her pants down in front of the glass windows (ass facing the entire restaurant) to check. How else, silly?

Once confirmed, she pulled her pants back up, like a champ, and met her already mortified, couldn't- get-to-her-child-fast-enough-when-she-saw-what-was-happening-Mom at the door with "Mommy..... I pooped in my pants, but I don't want to go home now... Do we have to leave?"

Needless to say the Mom in this story who may or may not have hidden out in the bathroom for approximately 30 minutes before making her walk of shame through the restaurant, will never be able to show her face in this undisclosed Chick-fil-a again for a very, very long time.

On the bright side, the new tortilla soup is actually pretty tasty.

The End.

Wordless Wednesday: Party Hard, Crash Harder

2012-01-11T08:00:00.000-06:00

Before

After: The only thing missing was her "blow"

Day One, Phase One

2012-01-09T15:36:00.000-06:00

I made it through the "Reset" phase, 5lbs lost. I was hoping for 7 but since my Birthday was last Friday and I cheated a bit (no alcohol, or sweets) I can't be too picky.

I thought about staying on the reset for a couple of extra days to try and get those 2 pounds but honestly, I was ready to start exercising so I forged on. It's nice now because we get to add more calories into our day and have an actual breakfast rather than just a smoothie.

I did my first workout today and one of the reasons I picked this program was because the workouts are short and intense and BOY! is it intense. I had to take a water break during the warm up! I love it!

I can feel the fatigue in my muscles and it feels great! I've missed working out and it's nice that in the amount of time it would take me to load up the kids and drive to the gym I can get in a great cardio session and bit of yoga or ab work.

Looking forward to seeing this work pay off! Hopefully, sooner rather than later.

iPee

2012-01-07T10:27:00.000-06:00

Yesterday while getting ready to walk out of the house for my birthday lunch, I hear "Mary Kate" yell from another room... "Mommy, I accidentally pee pee'd on your phone" while trying for a few seconds to process what I heard, she yelled again, "MOMMY!, I pee pee'd on your phone!" Still not sure that I was hearing her correctly, I yelled back:

"You, What?"
"I pee pee'd"
"You, Pee'd?"
"Yes!"
"On My Phone?"
"Yes!"
"How?"
"I don't know"

*Sigh*

*Scream lots of 4 letter words in my head*

At that point I decided having this conversation while yelling across the house was counterproductive, there is no way that while sitting on the sofa playing Angry Birds (which is where I left her) could she have literally pee'd on my phone. Right?

Well, kind of right.

When I found her she was in the bathroom sitting on the potty and sure enough, there sat my phone... on the floor... in a puddle of pee. She obviously was so caught up in destroying the pigs that she failed to make it to the potty on time.

Awesome.

So after a very good cleaning, I'm happy to say that the phone does still work (Eww, I know,) luckily I already had my iphone 4S on order.

Anyone want to buy an iphone, I'll have an extra!

Might as well be a Crack Addict

2012-01-04T13:40:00.003-06:00

Yesterday was a tough, tough day. I never knew how dependent my body had become on complete and total shit food. If detoxing from sugar and crap is even a tenth of what a drug addict goes through, then no thank you.

In addition to a massive migraine that lasted all. day. long. I was dizzy, tired and ravenous. I've never thought so much about food in my entire life. I'm not typically one to think that food looks good on those fast food commercials, in fact mostly I'm completely appalled by those ads because they never really look that appetizing (cue the Milos Grilled Chicken Sandwich) but yesterday I swear those burgers were calling my name. It's like they were willing me to get up, get my keys and drive myself to the nearest drive thru. They promised to make me feel better. Maybe in addition to dizzy, tired and starving I was also delusional?

I suffered through the day with only 1 slip up of cheese crackers (they happened to be calling my name as well.) The girls went unbathed in my delusional state and my house is still a complete wreck from holidays and traveling, but I was able to pull it together long enough to throw some waffles, clif bars and cheese crackers out for them to eat. Priorities, right?

I went to bed with the vice grip squeezing my head and woke up this morning with it dulled slightly. After a short round of nausea while getting the Munchkin ready for school I managed to make my smoothie, down some caffeine and ibuprofen and now I'm feeling much much better.

After 2 days I'm down 4.8lbs. It's a good thing because feeling like shit and having a scale that isn't moving downward is a complete and total buzz kill.

Hello New Year, Good-Bye Baby Weight!

2012-01-03T10:46:00.000-06:00

The time has come. I'm closing the uterus on child bearing and no longer have the excuse of holding on to this baby weight because "What's the point in losing the weight if I'm just going to have another baby..."

Not a very good excuse but an excuse nonetheless.

I recently read somewhere that keeping your dieting a secret makes you more successful in said diet but I kind of feel like if you talk/blog about it, maybe having people know will hold you accountable. So that's what I'm thinking in sharing yet another dieting journey on my blog.

Getting below 140lbs seems to be a lofty goal. I haven't been there in years, I get to 142 and teeter on the edge of that goal but haven't been able to actually break through. So I'm setting that as my first goal, roughly 9lbs.

For Christmas I got the PINK Method Fitness program so that's what I'll be following. It's nothing extreme, mostly just healthy eating options with moderate exercise and it's broken down into 3 phases plus a reset.

I'm on day 2 of the "Reset Phase" and I'm down 2lbs, nothing major since I'm certain it's all water weight. I am however incredibly results oriented and tend to get a boost when I see weight coming off quickly, one of the reasons I chose this program.

In addition to losing some lbs, I'm hoping to gain some healthier eating habits for me and the entire family, I've gotten lazy when it comes to meal times and we had been eating out almost daily.

So.. Off we go! No fast food and definitely no more sodas!!

If your goal for the New Year is to lose some weight, good luck! Let me know how you're doing it!

In Yo' Face

2011-12-21T18:39:00.003-06:00

As I was looking through some old pictures I noticed that my software has taken it upon itself to "face" some of my pictures. In fact almost all of my pictures have now been "faced" causing me to have multiple images of my original.

For example this lovely photo taken last year at Christmas:

Gave me all of these:

5 to every 1 shot if it's a family photo. Do you have any idea how many photos I now have in my files?

But as I was going through I realized that sometimes is gets it right and it's better than the picture I actually took, like this:

Then sometimes it completely misses, like this:

Uh... Hmm. Not really sure what it thought was a face or even part of a face but it "faced" it anyway.

What a cute little hand face.... ?

Then sometimes it's just completely creepy, like this:

So, while it gets it right some of the time and gives me those good pics, I still have a lot of unnecessary cleaning out to do, in case you haven't met me, I don't like unnecessary cleaning. At all. Not even a little bit.

New Rules: Kids Christmas Programs and Parent Behavior

2011-12-15T17:36:00.000-06:00

I had the privlage to attend the twinlets Christmas Program yesterday and I have to say it was madness. Complete and total mayhem.

I was warned by the teacher that parents get there super early and "camp out" for the top seats. I laughed it off thinking, eh, it's a preschool Christmas program, I'm sure it will be cute but as long as I can get a picture of my kid up on stage, I'll be fine....

A. Picture. I don't need enough to fill an album and I don't feel the need to fight for a seat.

Because it was not our regular school day I did have to get the girls there a bit early so I ended up being able to join the campout with about 30 minutes to spare. What I saw when I got into the chapel were empty seats, lots of them. All being saved by the person who obviously drew the short straw that morning. Ok, so saved seats, no biggie, I took a spot on the aisle, 2 rows from the back, and thought "I'll lean over, snap my picture and I'm good."

As I waited for the program to start, I watched, I listened and these rules began to develop in my head, by the time the program was over, this blog post was as good as written.

Rule 1: You cannot save 8 seats for people who are not going to show up. When it's 3 minutes before the program starts and your 8 (EIGHT!) people are not there, you forfeit your seats and great granny is gonna have to find her own way. You saving 8 (EIGHT!) seats is what causes the panic among parents, requiring us to sit and blog in our head for 30+ minutes prior to the program starting. I could have stopped by the post office.

Rule 2: Do not give me a dirty look for saving 1(One!) seat for my husband, please direct that to the lady in front of me saving 8 (EIGHT!) And for the record, my husband showed.

Rule 3. If you have younger children that are not participating in the program, shut them up or take them out. No offense. I've been there. But if I was trying to watch the Munchkin in her program and a twinlet so much as farted, we were up and out. It's distracting to EVERYONE, including your child in the program. Not to mention how many videos you're ruining.

Rule 4. Take your picture (or 2) and kindly move back to your seat. Do not block the aisle and stay there, do not move into the seats vacated by the kids. It pisses off the people that got there early enough to grab that prime pew-estate. And? It's rude.

Rule 5. When you stand in front of me, I can't see. Haven't you ever heard "Your daddy wasn't a glass maker?" "You'd make a better wall than a window?" It's true.

So with those rules in mind I would like to present my pictures from this years Christmas Program.

This is the only picture I got of "Ashley."

Please note: it was taken from my seat while I was trying not to block the other people around me who were also trying to take pictures of their kids walking in.

See Rule 4

See Rule 5

That's it.. Christmas Program 2011 - Great right?

I'm guessing that we are all fairly smart individuals and can figure out a way to do better than this. I love my kids and want to see them in any production they participate in, big or small but seriously? I'm not going to throw elbows unless it's a Twilight Premiere or Matthew McCoughney Naked with his bongos.

If you got a shot of my kids, I would love to see it.

Rivalry

2011-11-06T12:10:00.004-06:00

It's no secret that I'm an obnoxious Auburn fan. I realize it, and I own it. I loathe all things Crimson Tide and would probably pull for Sarah Palin before I would pull for UAT in a game.

It's called a rivalry, it's called getting behind your team and supporting them with everything you have and everything you believe in, I expect the Bammers to do the same against Auburn.

Saturday night I dug out a purple shirt and made myself a gold t-shirt scarf to wear for the LSU/Alabama game. We invited friends over to cheer for the Tigers.

I pulled for the Longhorns when Alabama played for the National Championship and I will do it again, over and over and I make no apologies.

Here's where the rub is when Bama fans want to call me "Disrespectful" "Mean" and "Classless." They are so delusional and blinded by houndstooth to realize that they do it too. This time, it's a flurry of facebook statuses lashing out at Auburn Fans, all because they, themselves, the Almighty Tide lost to LSU... Really? Suck it up and deal with your loss.. Yes, we know that you are "bringing it to our house" in a few short weeks... And?

What does that possibly have to do with the outcome of your game against LSU and your 4 missed field goals?

We realize that Alabama is the "best team in the state" this year. We wore those shoes last year remember? Remember when you pulled for the Ducks? Remember when you wished so hard that the NCAA hammer would slam down on us because of the allegations against Cam Newton? Remember when you made fun of Tebow for crying? (Something pointed out by my football "un"thusiast friend RandomMommy)

It's a rivalry for a reason and should be treated as such. I don't want you pulling for Auburn, I want you to stand behind your team because it's an in state rivalry and that's what you do. We're not "mean" we're all in for Auburn, all the time. Period.

Continue to spout your nonsense about still being the "best team in the Nation" despite your loss to the Number 1 team in the Nation.. (Funny math?) and I'm going to continue to cheer against you with all that I've got. Just as I expect you to do for your team. No hard feelings, but own it and don't act like we're the only ones.

And for those comments about the "Bad Call" and how you "saw it several times on TV from different angles" and "his back hit the ground with the ball firmly in both hands." and how "It was Bama's ball and a TD would have followed. It's not sour grapes...just a fact."

To you I say:

It's unfortunate that the Officials calling the game didn't have access to the super power replay that you seem to have in your living room. And to say that it's a "fact" that they would have scored a Touchdown is complete and total shit. Need I remind you there wasn't a single touchdown scored in the game? What most likely would have happened is that drive would have ended in yet another 4th down field goal attempt that your kicker would have missed.

I'm also going to go out on a limb and say that he didn't miss those field goals because he is Australian - so good luck moving forward with that attitude as you search for your "American Kicker."

War Eagle!

Jack of All Trades, Master of None.

2011-11-03T18:12:00.002-05:00

Whew! Life has been kicking my ass. I'm busy. Like, have lost complete control of my overly organized ways because I'm too busy doing "things" to organize the things I need to do!

The kids are in full swing with school and I have successfully avoided almost all classroom responsibility this year. Yay, me! I honestly don't know where I would fit it in if I had volunteered for Room Mom or PTO.

Since school has started I feel personally responsible for the death of several trees. I have never seen so much paperwork in all of my life. Stacks and stacks and more stacks of paper that overwhelm me to the point that I shove it all into a corner and swear I'll get to it later and it's not later enough yet. I'll get there... eventually.

This new "system" has caused me to fail at parenthood on a few key things that include but are not limited to, dressing my children appropriately for school pictures, not getting the Munchkin signed up for tennis on time and completely missing out on a Halloween festival at the twins school....

The Holidays are just around the corner and I know things will get busy, but busy in a different way. A hang with family, get to eat lots of yummy food and swap gifts kind of way. I'm really looking forward to getting past the work busy and getting on with the hustle and bustle of the holidays!

My Toy Story Moment

2011-08-10T14:17:00.003-05:00

This morning I walked my "baby" to Kindergarten. We took her picture in front of the school sign, we stood in line until the first bell rang and walked together silently to her class. She was quiet because I think her excitement had turned to nerves and I was quiet for fear of breaking down into an ugly cry in front of all of these people I will be passing for the next 9 months, if not years. It's something they just don't need to see.

I managed to distract myself with the twins and have light conversation with the Husband on the walk home.

Husband left for work and I began cleaning up the kitchen from the breakfast dishes we had left and that's when I saw him.... Her Lovey, his name is "Vertue." She has carried him with her every where she has gone since she was 2 years old. Even in preschool she would take him as far as she possibly could before leaving him in her carseat while she was gone. He was the first thing she would ask for when she would get in the car in the afternoons.

But today, he was here. Left on the floor by her chair for me to find and cry over. I instantly started thinking of Woody, Buzz and all of their friends that got left behind when Andy grew up. I know she's not off to college yet, but if Kindergarten got here so fast, there is no way I will have time to prepare myself for those future milestones. The ones that take her farther out of my grasp and into the Big, Bad, World.

Today, my little girl became a Kindergartner.

Bye Bye Baby...... Tooth

2011-07-28T00:29:00.005-05:00

My "baby" has lost her first baby tooth! It's been quite an exciting 36 or so hours.. It started with the Munchkin begging me to tie her loose tooth to a string and attach it to a door in order to pull it out. Once I explained to her why that was not a good idea, she agreed to let me tug on it a little and eventually wrap a piece a floss around it in a feeble attempt to rid her of it's wobbly presence.

It was disastrous and ended with lots of blood, crying and a tooth still intact.

We spoke with the Dentist and he thought it was best to bring her in and have it pulled. I am obviously not cut out for this specific task that is going to be a part of my life for a good many years. 3 kids equals a lot of loose teeth.

I have officially resigned as tooth puller and will allow the teeth to come out in their own sweet time. If she loses a tooth down the drain, or on a playground somewhere, such is life. We'll make sure the Tooth fairy is down with this arrangement and let the chips (or teeth) fall where they may.

It's Ok to Raise a Princess

2011-07-24T11:30:00.003-05:00

I cannot even begin to express how tired I am of listening to the backlash about little girls being obsessed with all things Princess.

Articles are popping up everywhere discussing the perils of gender. There was recently a big hubbub about a family that was choosing to raise their child without disclosing it's gender. Why? Because they believe that "they’re giving their children the opportunity to be creative and free from social norms that dictate male and female behavior."

Who Cares? Is it really so bad to be a woman that we have to downplay any girly tendencies that we might have? What happened to the days of celebrating who we are regardless of our sex, or the color of our skin.

I was never a girly-girl. I remember one Christmas my gifts included, a bike, a football, and a baseball glove and bat. I collected matchbox cars, baseball cards and GI Joes, because that's what I asked my parents for. They didn't try to sway me into "girly things" nor did they attempt to squash my "Tom Girl Behavior." I played in the tunnels under the streets in our neighborhood and made beauty salons using crushed rocks and dirt as my makeup.

Do you want to know a secret? I played with Barbies too! *GASP!* We had the most elaborate barbie house made up out of our entire playroom, we would disappear into that wonderful barbie mansion and not come out for days. Want to know something else? I never thought I was less of a girl because I didn't have big boobs and a tiny waist. Did you ever think you were odd for not having a storage compartment in your ass like Mr Potato Head?

Somewhere between Toddlers and Tiaras and Gender-less children there has to be a balance.

I'm raising 3 Princesses. Not because when they were born I shoved them in pink tutu's and never allowed them to play with anything that was considered "boyish." It's what they want to play with, it's what they like, it's what makes them happy. If we were to walk the aisles of the toy store and they were to choose something different, I would buy it for them. Whether it's a toolbox designed for boys or "gender neutral" wood blocks, if it gets them to play and use their imagination why should I care? As their parent, it's my responsibility to instill values and help them build a positive self esteem, not the toy manufactures or the world of Disney.

It is not my job to raise my children to be gender-less as a way to snub society and make growing up any more complicated than it has to be, it's my job as a parent to actually, well.... Parent.

Stinky Bum Bum is the New Macarena.

2011-07-07T16:02:00.004-05:00

Oh, these girls. I'm certain that their behavior is not learned from me, it has to be in their genes. The ones they get from their Dad.

While at the Library today, turning in our Summer Reading Sheets and picking up a few new books for this coming week, I ran into a Mom who's little boy went to pre-school with the Munchkin. Since her little Boy and the Munchkin will be moving on to Kindergarten together and she has an older daughter, I was picking her brain on what to expect from the teachers and the school and all of the juicy details that come with having a Kindergartner. All of the things that terrify yet excite me about this coming fall.

While getting my notes, the girls were happily playing and perusing the books and movies. It was all fun and games until "Ashley" decided she needed to go potty... Pee, she told me. I rounded them up, and told them to make their final choices while telling the other Mom bye and happy summer...

It was while I was checking the books out that I smelled something that brought me to the realization that "Ashley" didn't need to pee, she needed to poop and had already done so in her pants. 1 other thing happened at the exact moment I realized she had poop in her underwear.... She decided to demonstrate to my Mom friend (who was in the check out line behind us now) the "Stinky Bum Bum Dance." It all happened so fast, yet it seemed to go in slow motion, is that even possible?

In case you are unfamiliar with the stinky bum bum dance, let me break it down for you:

1. Pull up your dress, or pull down your pants so that your underwear shows -

2. Shake your bum bum around in circles while pointing it directly at your target (victim) -

3. Yell, as loudly as possible, "Stinky Bum Bum, Stinky Bum Bum, Doing the Stinky Bum Bum Dance"

*Options include: pulling down your underwear completely so your target/victim can get a grand look at your naked ass or as we did today, try filling your underwear with a load of poop before you begin your dance. That's always a hit, it really adds that extra..... something.

Mortified does not even begin to describe my feelings... Who are these children and why are they calling ME Mommy?

Little Gaga

2011-06-22T21:16:00.003-05:00

Little Miss Mary Kate is obsessed with Lady Gaga - I suppose I'm to blame for the root of this obsession and the fact that it's so damn cute makes it hard to discourage.

When I woke her up this morning and said, "Let's go Doodlebug" she corrected me by saying, "Today you call me Wady Gaga." Her current favorite song is "Edge of Glory" followed closely by Eh' Eh' (nothing else I can say.)

There is a stronger than slight possibility that she will be dressed as Lady Gaga for Halloween. Don't judge me.

Donation Etiquette

2011-05-06T21:40:00.003-05:00

For the past week BirminghamMommy.com has been collecting items for the areas around town that were impacted by the tornadoes.

We've set up donation boxes all over town collecting things like diapers, wipes, food, formula, cleaning products, water, toiletries and more.

What I've learned from this experience is that you have to be incredibly detailed about the items that you will and will not take, some of the things I've seen come in have left me speechless.

For the record and for future reference let's just go over a little bit of Donation Etiquette, shall we?

1. The victims of the storm may be left with nothing, and grateful for anything they get but that doesn't mean you should give it to them. Have a filter. Used underwear should not be in your clothing pile.

2. Half used bottles of hairspray, lotion that is so old it's consistency is the same as water and sunscreen that is expired is also a no-no. This is not the time to clean out your medicine cabinet or bathroom closets.

3. Food that expired in 2009, really? They just lived through a horrific tornado, you are going to try to kill them with expired BBQ sauce?

4. KY Jelly.. WHUCK?

5. A 1/2 used bottle of Wild Sex Warming Massage Oil. Double WHUCK? Again, let's filter. I don't know if that was a hidden stash or someone thinking that they were actually doing a good deed, either way, let's just think about what we are donating, mmmkay?

Someone, somewhere right now is going "Oh Shit! I can't believe I dropped that in that box"

Where were you when....

2011-05-02T20:12:00.004-05:00

There are certain events that happen in your life that are so significant to you or the world that they leave a lasting memory.. You may remember exactly where you were, how your heard the news, what you were wearing, or who you were with.

For past generations they remember things like the assassination of JFK, or when Elvis died..

For me it's things like:

Challenger Disaster: I was at home from school because I was sick, I saw it live.

Princess Diana Car Crash: Sitting in the living room of our very first apartment. The sofa was a comfy old hand me down.

9/11: Getting ready for work I heard it on the radio, turned on the television and saw the 2nd plane hit

I will of course remember the tornadoes from last week, but this one... the death of Bin Laden is the one that will be most memorable I'm sure...

I was watching Bravo's "Watch What Happens Live" so I could get the scoop on Alexis and her marriage troubles.. Andy Cohen broke the news to me.

Reality television is the new CNN.... For me.

There's No Place Like Home...

2011-04-29T22:44:00.005-05:00

Birmingham and surrounding cities were hit very, very hard by some horrific weather this week.

We knew it was coming, we have one of, if not the best meteorologist in the world living and anchoring here and he called it... all. day. long. He told us it was going to be bad, some of the worst he's ever seen coming. He told us early to make plans, to have a severe weather plan in place. He told people living in mobile homes to find an alternate place to stay for the afternoon and evening that they would not be safe.

Unfortunately, he was right.

Unfortunately there was no safe place for some of the families, homes and businesses that were in the path of this tornado. A twister that left a path of destruction from Tuscaloosa, AL (maybe even back to MS) all the way to South Carolina. It was said to be 1 mile wide. An EF5. How do you stay safe when the tornado takes your safe place?

The loss of life is over 230. Over 400 people are still reported missing.

For the first time in my life, I was truly frightened out of my mind. All afternoon we watched these tornadoes form live on television. We watched this monster on the skycam until it's signal went out. We watched the weather until the name of the city that I live in was called out and the time stamp for arrival was 6:02pm - I shuffled my girls into our "safe place" put their bike helmets on and their shoes knowing that if that trajectory was correct, I had approximately 12 minutes to make them as safe as I could.

As the minutes passed the path shifted north, after several more minutes it was heading directly downtown where my husband was at the time. I was texting him, he insisted he was safe. Again the path shifted north. He too was in the clear.

The tornado ended up moving just north of the airport, and on through the state, going down in the books as one of the longest on the ground tornadoes ever.

In the end all of my family is safe, and we are now helping to collect items for distribution to some of the shelters and families in need.

Ain't that Average Groupie

2011-04-20T19:40:00.003-05:00

My 5 year old has learned a new word!

"Groupie"

I can assure you that "Sir Mix a Lot" is not on her ipod and cannot be blamed for this new word, but I'm guessing she heard it somewhere that I should have been monitoring more closely.

She asked the meaning of the word the other day and I explained in pre-school terms that when you like a specific band, singer or celebrity and can follow them around to try and get to *ahem* "know" them better you are considered a groupie. Conveniently leaving out the sex, drugs and rock & roll part of the definition.

I also chose to shelve the part about how we should never go back stage with the lead singer, no matter how hot he is, what he promises you, or how much he swears he was singing that ballad to you... keeping in line with my long time philosophy of giving them just enough to satisfy their little minds, and that worked.

So I thought.

While in the car today it was revisited:

Munchkin: "Mommy if you weren't married, and didn't have us kids, would you be a John Mayer Groupie?"

Me: "Without a doubt!"

Wordless Wednesday - Fun at Railroad Park

2011-04-13T18:41:00.000-05:00

Adventures In Potty Training: Fini

2011-04-08T18:00:00.004-05:00

It took exactly 2 weeks. This past Monday marked the day that it suddenly clicked, a far cry from the previous Monday when I was beginning to think that poop slinging monkeys would be easier to train than my girls.

I'm not sure what constitutes the official title of "Potty Trained." What I do know is that this week we have had a couple of days with no accidents at all for either of them, and a couple of days where we've had just one between them.

Today was an accident day, not just an easy peasy pee in the pants day, it was a shit the pants, step in it and some how manage to smear it across the wall kind of day. But it was just once. (Bright Side People, Bright Side.)

We are able to go out now, although I'm still slightly chicken, I'm getting there. I'm sure that getting them to use a public restroom will be a challenge since they are afraid of literally everything, but I feel certain in saying that the worst of it is behind us. I survived potty training twins! I'm a big girl now!

Is there a club for this? There should be.

Adventures in Potty Training: Maiden Voyage

2011-04-01T13:58:00.004-05:00

After almost 2 solid weeks of going absolutely no where with the pee monsters, I decided it was time to venture out. I of course planned my trip based on them having both gone pee, but once they did we were out the door and flying without a net.

I realize that this quick trip to the grocery store would have served as much better blog fodder had things gone horrible wrong, and if the girls would have both peed their way up and down each aisle - but alas, I'm am happy to say that our "Maiden Voyage" in big girl panties was an absolutely uneventful success.

After this past Monday I really thought that this potty training adventure was not going to work out in my favor. I considered giving up and trying again later, but we persevered and "Ashley" has been dry since our Monday debacle.. "Mary Kate" the one who pee's way more often, has had 1 tiny accident every day this week, but always just a bit and finishes on the potty.

In another huge step towards diaper freedom, they both have learned that flushing is fun, so they now like to use the "Big Big" potty... They also like to make comments on each others poop and what it reminds them of.. "Wittle Wocks" (little rocks) mostly. Their imagination is not nearly as developed as the Munchkin who constantly saw "Sloths" in her poop.

While I'm not yet confident in saying that we are potty trained, we are close... I think.

Princess and the Pee

2011-03-29T07:59:00.000-05:00

Adventures in Potty Training: Day..... Are we there yet?

2011-03-28T10:20:00.002-05:00

We started this journey/adventure/hellish nightmare a week ago today. I want to be done.

We've made progress but we still have a long way to go. I want so desperately to cry uncle, to wave the white flag knowing that eventually they will be potty trained, even if they have to do it themselves at the age of 14.. If I give up now I will have wasted an entire week of my life bound to a 10ft x 10ft confined space using the words, potty, pee pee and poo poo over and over so much that I'm now mumbling it in my sleep and asking the husband if he went potty like a big boy.

"Mary Kate" seems to be getting it. She will pee pretty much every single time you put her on the potty. She will not initiate going.

"Ashley" seems to have stage fright. That or a bladder the size of a grown man. She typically won't even pee for the first time until almost noon, unless of course you finally relinquish some control and allow them to wander unsupervised into the playroom, where she will pee immediately on the floor and surrounding toys.

We've been averaging about 2 accidents a day, total. So yes, I would say that is progress, but entering week 2 of this "project" is leaving me stir crazy and ready to get out of this house and back to some normalcy.

Whatever that is.

Adventures in Potty Training, Day 2

2011-03-23T17:11:00.004-05:00

While I'm reluctant to say that we had "success" today, we did do better than yesterday. Kind of.

"Mary Kate" pooped in the potty, although she tried to get up and run because she wasn't sure what was happening, it did land where it was intended and earned her a cool 2 M & M's.

After this it got tricky. While I was trying to praise her like she had just won the Nobel Peace Prize, I had to be careful not to do damage to "Ashley's" self esteem. She was already sitting on the potty next to "MK's" looking longingly at the turd she wished she'd produced in order to get her prize. After we called the Husband to brag some more, I went to shower her with praise for trying, and to tell her to keep up the good work, which resulted in a complete and total meltdown, with belligerent demands for M & M's.

After pleading with her to just sit another minute or two (they usually poop in pairs,) I finally let her up to find that she had already peed in the potty and just didn't know it... earning her a cool 1 M & M. We jumped around, called daddy back and then the moment that brought tears to my eyes, they looked at each other, smiled, giggled and hugged. They were so proud.

We were off to such a great start to the day, only for our joyous celebration to be followed with a slew of accidents. Seriously? How much pee can one kid produce?

No more successes for the day, so far.

1 step forward, 2 steps back....

Potty Training - Day 1

2011-03-22T17:25:00.003-05:00

The time has come to potty train the twinlets. I'm tired of changing diapers, and I'm tired of paying $50+ a month to their indulge their diaper habit.

I didn't really mean to start hard core today but I'd been promising them a trip to pick out some "Ariel" panties and once we got home they were actually excited to start trying. So, we did.

Every 10 -15 minutes I put them on the potty. We read books, sang songs and tried to pass the time in an uplifting, positive way.... This is an epic challenge for me, it's tedious and while they sit there not peeing, I can't help but think about all of the things I could be doing, would rather be doing (laundry, Facebook, work, reading, poking my eyes out.. ) But alas, there I sat waiting for some pee or poop to land in the potty. But so far they only seem to do that 3.2 seconds after we get up from sitting there for 15 or 20 minutes. Naturally.

Today so far, not a single ounce in the potty, and way more accidents than I can count. The upside? 2 of those accidents happened outside and were much less stressful on my already raging OCD tendencies.

I've finally removed all small area rugs - cleaning up hardwoods only is going to be so much easier and better than trading my diaper budget for a new rug budget because they manage to ruin everything during this process.

I will be so glad to be on the other side of this "adventure." Serenity Now.

Making Memories!

2011-03-18T14:59:00.006-05:00

I was a little bummed when our Spring Break trip to Atlanta got cancelled. I was really looking forward to just getting away for a couple of days on a family trip that was/is long overdue. But I decided to practice what I preach about exploring the city and having a great "Staycation" here in and around town.

I decided since the Munchkin always misses out on seeing everyone because of her school schedule I wanted to work the Great Grandparents into our week and let the girls spend some time with them.

Yesterday we spent some time with Great Gran. Ate lunch and took a little walk around Caldwell Park. After leaving there we headed to our new favorite place, Railroad Park.

I failed to get any pictures. In my attempt to be a little more unplugged this week I walked out without my phone or camera.

Today we spent the day at Ruffner Mountain with our Nanny and Grandaddy.

It's a family favorite and Grandaddy goes hiking there almost daily. We packed our lunch, put on our hiking shoes and took off!

The 33 1/3 rule kicked in at the start of our trip... you know the the law that states that out of 3 kids one is always going to be pissed off? This time it was "Mary Kate." Once she realized that I wasn't going to carry her or let anyone else (ahem, Oma) carry her, we were able to move on... (see right)

We had a picnic and because I felt the need for a workout, convinced everyone that we should load the twins in the stroller and hike to the old fire tower... In case you want to know how difficult this is, it's uphill... the entire way. And I don't mean a slow steady incline, there are 2 very steep hills and when you're pushing 90lbs, you definitely feel the burn.

My girls are worn out but had the best time hanging out today and staying busy all week!

Nanny, Oma, Pop, "Munchkin" and "Ashley"

Grandaddy showing the girls the "Family Ruffner Mountain Book" that we will now be added to!

Me with my girls

Spring Break Week!

2011-03-14T17:19:00.002-05:00

It's day 1 of Spring Break and we have had a fun, filthy, going to leave a ring around the tub at bathtime tonight kind of day!

I managed to keep my computer closed until naptime today which is a huge accomplishment for me. We went outside and played for 3 hours, then took a little walk up to the store to get some groceries.

We chalked, we rode bikes, blew bubbles and I even managed to clean the garage up a little bit!

I have to say it was a good day!

I'm Going to Start Blogging again, I swear

2011-03-13T18:45:00.002-05:00

I know that if there are any of you out there still hanging on to this pathetic blog I've managed to run into the ground, you probably don't care one way or other what I do with it, but I do.

I started off so well and stuck with it for so long. It served to chronicle so many things that never seemed to make it to the baby books, which was ok because I always knew I had a back up... I have failed miserably at this over the last year and am vowing to start over again.

My twinlets are 3 today! Today!!?!! They keep me incredibly busy. So busy that I forget things almost immediately after they happen which is all the more reason to be blogging.

Happy Birthday little Monkeys!

Naptime....

2011-01-27T17:28:00.001-06:00

It is a very serious thing in this household.. As you can see.

I love you but....

2011-01-21T19:14:00.003-06:00

My Dear Sweet Auburn Tigers,

I was so excited a couple of weeks ago to learn about the National Championship Celebration that would take place at the stadium this Saturday. I went straight to my calendar and penciled you in. I told the Husband it would be a great day to go down to the loveliest little village and hang out with our girls.... not really thinking about it still being January.

January = Cold... Me no like cold.

I started watching the weather hoping that we would get one of those oddball 60 degree days and we would just have a grand ole' time.

As this weekend approached there were rumors of more snow and ice and of course, freezing temps. At last check the temps were only going to be in the upper 30's... Me no like cold.

So after consulting with the Husband (who, come to find out didn't really want to go anyway) we decided that it just wasn't in the cards.

I'm not the type of person to load up all of the things I will need for the day for all 3 kids, drive 2 1/2 hours for a first come first served situation where the best result is that I'm granted the opportunity to sit in 30 degree weather with 3 kids, 6 gloves, 3 hats, 3 heavy jackets, 6 lovies, umpteen layers of clothing and no vodka.

I love you but..... Not this time.

Since I'm back, Let's Talk about Sarah, Shall We?

2011-01-17T19:30:00.004-06:00

Since the shooting in Tuscon, Sarah Palin's smug little mug continues to pop up all over everything I seem to be watching. People are blaming her, people are defending her, and she has diarrhea of the mouth as usual.

While I'm not blaming her perse' my thoughts on the whole matter are this:

1. You star in a reality series that you want people to watch.

2. You write a book you want people to buy and read.

3. You travel around and endorse candidates that you want people to vote for.

4. You have a FB page you want people to like.

5. You speak at Tea Party conventions where you expect people to listen to you.

6. You say something like "Don't Retreat, Reload" so that people will....... What? Reload?

7. You put crosshairs, Er..."Surveyors marks for dryholes" on someone and you want people to..... (fill in the blank here because I'm at a loss)

The only one "physically" responsible for the shooting is Jared Lee Loughner. I get that. But I also think Sarah Palin is incredibly irresponsible with her actions and words, and I'm guessing that since her map with the crosshairs (Er... Surveyors marks for dryholes... blah blah) were immediately removed from her site, that someone in her camp thought that might not look so good either.

Our Nation as a whole is abundant with people who are unstable and living on the edge. Palin is preaching hate and inciting violence to gun toting right wing extremists. Why would we think that something like this wouldn't happen eventually?

"Sniced" In

2011-01-13T15:49:00.000-06:00

We've been stuck in doors since Sunday (mostly) while schools and businesses continue to stay closed because of this "winter storm" that passed through. It brought mostly ice that won't seem to go away... like ever.

We ventured out with the girls on Monday to play, we couldn't build a snowman, but did teach them the finer art of karate chopping ice chunks.. It occupied them for a while.
Thought I would show proof that I actually did go out in the cold, an incredibly rare occurrence.

And yes, I was out there longer than the time it took to take these 3 pictures...... Barely.

We are the Champions....

2011-01-12T20:18:00.005-06:00

You had to know that something like my beloved Auburn Tigers winning the National Championship would bring me out of bloggy hiding... So here I am and can I just say... Damn! It's great to be an Auburn Tiger?

What an amazing season we've had and how awesome has it been to watch Cam Newton (the best college football player evah') play for our team!

The weather threatened to dampen our plans but after several phone calls, we came up with a plan b, booked a room at the Winfrey and walked our asses across the icy parking lot to OnTap, one of the only bars open. We drank, cheered, drank, and cheered and drank some more! We stumbled back across the icy parking lot, passed out in a drunken stupor and woke with a Championship Hangover, it's the best hangover I've ever had!

It was an AUsome night! War Damn Eagle

You're the Best Mom in the Whole........ Town?

2010-11-15T12:16:00.003-06:00

While snuggling on the sofa with the Munchkin this weekend she proceeded to tell me how I'm the "Best Mom in the whole town." While that may not seem like a lot it's actually an upgrade from "Best Mom I've ever had," I think.

The rest of the conversation went like this...

Me: The best Mom in the whole town?

Munchkin: Yes, the whole town, that's good

Me: Well what about about the whole world?

Munchkin: Well I haven't been around the whole world, but I've been around the whole town....

Me: Thanks?

My Heart

2010-11-12T15:28:00.000-06:00

Dear McDonalds, You Evil Empire

2010-11-11T14:53:00.002-06:00

To Whom it May Concern,

While I don't rank you as high as Wal Mart in my places to loathe list, you're closing in pretty quickly.

You see, I recently gave up eating meat, which means that my children aren't afforded the gracious opportunity to chow down on your odd shaped chicken nuggets and weird meat burgers very often. But because of your evil ways and connections to Disney you continue to be the source for many a meltdown in my household.

With the new movie "Mega Mind" coming out, I'm sure you know that your Happy Meals are being coveted by children all over the United States, including mine.

So in a moment of weakness last week, I caved and my experience has brought on a level of hatred I never new I had. Let me explain.

After what felt likes years of begging for a "Happy Meal with a Mega Mind toy," I surprised my girls with a trip through the drive thru. While waiting in your incredibly long line (yes both lanes were open to insure speedy service) my children had the great pleasure of staring at all of the Mega Mind advertising you have up on your windows and display boards. They saw the ad and knew they were finally going to get their grimey little hands on that toy. I ordered 3! Yes 3, of your nasty ass McNugget happy meals, (can't give to one without giving to all...) we waited, there was more screaming from the backseat and finally about 15 minutes later we finally get our 3 boxes, heavily decorated with more Mega Mind ads. We got home and opened them up to find, cold food, and some lame-o cat toy that has absolutely nothing to do with Mega Mind.

You put me in quite a pickle there McDonalds. Quite the pickle.

So after scraping my children off of the floor from their meltdowns (did I mention the lines were so long it cut into naptime?) I explained that the people there made a mistake (or did they?) and we would try again for these worthless toys one day soon.

So today, I tried a different McDonalds, the line was faster, the food was better and we actually got 3 Mega Mind toys.... too bad only 2 of them work. Thank you.

Yours Truly,

The Incoherent Rambler/hater if all things Evil Empire-ish

Halloween Decorations

2010-11-08T17:05:00.000-06:00

They are still up.

That is all.

Holy Inappropriateness Bat Blog.....

2010-11-05T10:14:00.002-05:00

It's been well over a month since I've posted here on the old blog... I blinked and it's November, how did that happen..

A quick recap -

I've been busy, really really busy with our little blog that could. BirminghamMommy.com has taken off and takes up pretty much any bit of free time I had. I'm not complaining. I like it, it's fun and doing it makes me happy.

We took a trip to Vegas -- It was our first trip as a couple without our kids since the Munchkin was 9 months old (she's 5 now) We went with the "Random Family." We did all of the things you're supposed to do in Vegas. Drink, Drank Drunk. We ate some incredible Sushi at Nobu. We gambled, we hung out with Charles Barkley and watched Auburn from the VIP room in the sports book. There was a pro football player there too, used to play for the Jaguars but I can't remember his name. We had an incredible, incredible time.

My Munchkin turned 5 back at the beginning of October. She continues to be as sweet as ever. Some new little girls just started at her school, in her class. They are twins and moved here from across the country. She has made them her best friends, showing them how the school days go and has even offered to let them live with us until their house is ready.

The twins are crazy. They love each other like sisters when they are fighting like sisters. They are officially out of their cribs and are currently sleeping on cushions on the floor because the husband and I can't agree on what types of beds to buy. Just when we are about to order, we second guess ourselves or realize they won't fit... They think the current set up is a playground.

Halloween has come and gone. My decorations are still up.

What's been up with you?

The World I Want for My Daughters

2010-09-27T17:23:00.004-05:00

I agreed to participate in this Blog Carnival in an effort to support The Joyful Heart Foundation. When I first heard about it, I happily jumped at the chance to help. I was thinking it wouldn't be too difficult. I was wrong. I didn't want to wait to the last minute and throw something together so I started early, kind of writing it in my head, but after thinking about this for almost a week now, I have to say, it's harder than I thought it would be.

I wanted to be more profound than "World Peace" and "The End of Racism" but all I can come up with is this:

The world I want for my girls, is a world that I didn't screw up before handing it over to the next generation.

Every vote that I cast, every purchase I make, every can or box I recycle or forget to recycle is making an impact for the world I will leave behind. The world they will grow up in, raise their children in and grow old in.

I want them to find more acceptance, more open mindedness and love along the way. I want to raise them to be aware of these issues and if in that world they can't find these things, I want them to fight to make a change.

I want a world where women are strong, and where our men aren't giving their lives in useless, drawn out wars.

I want a world where the sick can get better, where abused and neglected children can find love. Where all couples can marry, and have or adopt children regardless of their race, or sexual orientation.

I want a world that will be ready for the strong, independent, caring, loving and accepting children I plan to raise.

About this blog carnival: “The world I want for my children” is an effort to support The Joyful Heart Foundation, which was founded by Law & Order: SVU actress Mariska Hargitay to help victims of sexual assault mend their minds, bodies and spirits and reclaim their lives. Today, the foundation is at the forefront of an effort to end a disheartening backlog of tens of thousands of rape kits in labs across the country, a backlog that contributes to a rapist’s 80 percent chance of getting away with his crime. The backlog and its detrimental effects will be the topic of an SVU episode on September 29^th.

Please help us raise awareness for this important work. What kind of world do you want for your children? Write your post and link up here.

The Experiment. Day...... Who the Hell Knows I've Been Watching TV Since Wednesday

2010-09-18T21:26:00.002-05:00

So this was a failed experiment. I like to think it's because I picked a really bad week to do this. Sick kids (all 3.) The Munchkin home 2 days from school for said sickness. A huge event that required a massive amount of my time. Me ending up sick by the time the event was over.

All in all, I didn't really watch a ton of tv until Friday. It wasn't because of the conviction I felt for the the experiment, I simply didn't have enough time this week to watch, but on Friday while I was laying on the sofa sick, I lapped it up like it was water from the fountain of youth.

When I pulled up my DVR it was 82% full and I couldn't have been happier.

I guess I do walk away from this failed experiment having learned a little something.

1. I still love tv
2. I need tv for my sanity
3. There are many times in the day when the tv is on for no reason, and I will change that.
4. My children will be having less tv time and it will be more selective.

While this was kind of a fail, walking away making some adjustments makes it somewhat useful... Me thinks.

My New Things - Week 36

2010-09-15T21:20:00.000-05:00

I tried another new vegetarian recipe and it was a FAIL. I wanted spaghetti with meat sauce so instead of using hamburger meat, I used some type of soy/protein crumbles. While it looked like regular hamburger and didn’t actually taste bad the texture was just off. Almost mushy. I have texture issues and just couldn’t get past this one. I think I’ll be having my sauce sans meat from here on out.

For more New Things or if you’d like to participate in 52 new things along with BirminghamMommy and many others – please join in by posting your new thing to your blog, facebook or on twitter (use #52newthings) – Also, you can head over to www.willblogforshoes.com to link up every Thursday!

The Experiment Day 2

2010-09-15T07:52:00.001-05:00

2 words.

Epic. Fail.

Munchkin had a rough night not feeling well, no one slept because she couldn't breathe through her nose and felt the need for us to be aware of this every 5 seconds. I kept her home from school and my Mom was here to keep the twins. I couldn't possibly leave her here with 3 cranky/sleepy/sick kids and no tv... By 8:45am The Dinosaur Train was rolling on through the house.

After naps the TV stayed off until after the kids bed time and the husband turned it on the bedroom and fell asleep before I did, leaving me getting sucked into back to back episodes of a show I've never see before but am now addicted to. I think it was called "Swords." Very similar to Deadliest Catch.

So all in all, I watched tv and became addicted to a new show... I think I'm going backwards.

The Experiment - Day One

2010-09-13T21:07:00.001-05:00

Hmmm, what can I say to describe this void in our daily life so far?

The screaming children are so much louder and more persistent without the television to distract them or drown them out.
I thought I would have all the time in the work to do laundry and clean the house, only with screaming children that can't entertain themselves, it's damn near impossible to even take a shit alone (which is a rarity in itself) but can sometimes be done with the assistance of Wonder Pets.
I am a better Mom when we have the TV in our life. This is not a joke.
I have nothing to help tune out the snoring husband.

I'm realizing that as much as I love TV and have self diagnosed myself as an addict, I'm just as much a dealer, looking to shoot my children up with the purist form of Blue's Clue's or Sesame Street that I can score. I love my children and as much as I love to sit and read and tell stories and teach colors, I do have shit to do during the day and at this rate nothing is going to get done.

This experiment is not for the weak.

The No TV For One Week Experiment

2010-09-12T22:01:00.002-05:00

This could also be labeled the "I've lost my damn mind experiment" but let's not split hairs..

We (My Husband, Myself and my sister and Brother In law) had a conversation last weekend about how much TV we watch, individually and as a family unit. They don't have kids, we do. We weren't really comparing so much as just generally discussing how much time we waste in front of the tube.

My husband lovingly pointed out that I watch a shit-ton of television. He's right. I didn't argue then and I won't argue it now. I LURVE television. It calls to me... I love getting sucked into ridiculous reality t.v., stupid sitcoms and even bad dramas.

I won't discriminate when it comes to my tv addiction. I'll show you what I mean.

Cupcake Wars? You betcha! The Cake Boss, Ace of Cakes, Top Chef, Hells Kitchen, The Great Food Truck Race? All in my DVR.

The Gates, Vampire Diaries, True Blood? Got it covered.

Days of our Lives? Yep (its the only soap opera I watch.)

Entourage, Weeds, Dexter, The C Word? Watch it , record it, or catch it On-Demand.

Project Runway, Flipping out, Thintervention, and the Real Housewives, ATL, NJ, DC, NY, and Orange County? Sadly, yes.

Greys, Private Practice, Desperate Housewives? Done done and done.....

30 Rock? Won't miss it

Saturday Night Live? A great little slice of comedy heaven to end the week.

I really could go on and on, but there just really isn't enough bloggy space out there for me to cover the depths of my television addiction. For you see, all of the shows mentioned above are most (yes there are more) of what I watch on a regular basis. That does not include the mindless hours I spend flipping through channels and landing on marathons of Hoarders, LA Ink, Jersey Shore (Shoot me, but yes) The Duggars, and the miserable train wreck that is Kate plus 8.

I. Love. Television.

I. Have. A. Problem.

Therefore I have decided to take it out of my life for 1 week. Not a full week mind you, it's football season and come Saturday morning, I will be watching Gameday and every game I can possibly manage to suck up in these precious 12 or so weeks of college football.

Starting tomorrow, well tonight I guess. The television goes off and will not come back on until Gameday on Saturday.

Holy Hell, my kids are going to hate me.

Wordless Wednesday! Tis' the Season

2010-09-08T10:52:00.000-05:00

War Damn Eagle!!

My New Thing - Week 35

2010-09-07T22:48:00.002-05:00

I volunteered to be Room Mom. This is a task that I have always shied away from, it’s something I wanted to do but didn’t want to over commit and fail my child (and the teachers and other mothers.) When the Munchkin started pre-school the twins were new, only about 5 months old so I had put in my mind that I would do my time as Room Mom once all the kids were in school and I had more time to devote to those little extras. This year there was a need and I agreed. I’ve been assured that it’s mostly just reminding the other Moms via email (which I can rock) who brings goldfish and who drives on the field trips. I can’t speak yet to whether or not I would do it again as I haven’t really done anything yet.

If you have any tips, throw them my way!!

For more New Things or if you’d like to participate in 52 new things along with BirminghamMommy and many others – please join in by posting your new thing to your blog, facebook or on twitter (use #52newthings) – Also, you can head over to www.willblogforshoes.com to link up every Thursday!

And Then There Were Two!

2010-09-01T20:53:00.001-05:00

The Munchkin started school today. This is the first year where she will be going 5 days a week, still not Kindergarten, it's pre-school and half days, but it's everyday.

She's ecstatic, I think getting up and having everyone ready and out of the house on time 5 days a week is going to suck. The school is 5 minutes from the house. It takes longer than that to load the twinlets into the car. I hate mornings.

** Go ahead and submit this post to this site

Anyway. Not that I'm glad to have the Munchkin gone but my day was so much easier. I learned that I can actually manage the twins. In Target. Without a tranquilizer gun. We ran errands all day and they were angels. I almost wondered what happened to my children.

They listened, they cooperated and they didn't screech. I think this time alone with them is going to be so beneficial. Plus it's so sweet to see them excited to go get Munchkin from school.

It's going to be a good year!

But Wait! There's More - Act Now!

2010-08-26T21:48:00.002-05:00

I've done a really poor job lately documenting all of the funny things my kids are saying these days. The twins are starting to talk more so I should have more than enough fodder to keep this blog going for years.

But this morning it was the Munchkin that made me belly laugh. She was up, eating cereal and watching cartoons, which means running a wish list in her head of every shiny thing she sees on the commercials.

Every morning she likes to help the husband put his belt on before he leaves the house for work. Today she was carefully threading the the belt through the loops and then asked us if she could have "xyz toy" we didn't really understand what it was she was asking for and we replied with our standard answer, "maybe for your birthday" then she looked up and said....

"But it comes with everything you see here......"

We laughed. We still aren't sure what exactly it was that she wanted but regardless, that shiz was funny.

This post is brought to you by Sham-Wow, it can be yours with 2 easy payments of just $9.99, but wait! There's more... Act now and you'll receive this mini sham wow........

My New Thing - Week 33

2010-08-24T14:51:00.004-05:00

This week I got crafty… I was talking to a friend and fellow Auburn fan about the season and mentioned how I needed to make a trip to buy the girls their gameday outfits for this season. She told me about the tutu that she had made her girls and showed me the picture… I was sold. I went to the store bought the tulle and made my girls their skirts.

It’s a super easy, no sew method. I took one of my elastic head bands to use for the waist, measured the length from waist to about knee (double it) tie it in double knots (or slips knots) alternating colors. I’ve seen these done and knew friends that had done them, I just never thought to use team colors.. Super cute gameday outfits!

For more New Things or if you’d like to participate in 52 new things along with BirminghamMommy and many others – please join in by posting your new thing to your blog,facebook or on twitter (use #52newthings) – Also, you can head over to www.willblogforshoes.com to link up every Thursday!

The Dog Daze Are Over...

2010-08-20T20:54:00.005-05:00

Our across the street neighbor is a school teacher. Meaning she is no longer home during the day. You're probably thinking, So?

Well, all summer, during the day one or all of my girls could be found standing at the storm door staring across the street at the neighbors dog, who was standing at their storm door staring back. It was adorable. Now they go and look, and the puppy is not there. Only a green front door.

They ask, they point, they don't understand that summer is coming to an end....

My New Thing(s) Week 31 (and 32)

2010-08-19T20:49:00.002-05:00

Because I'm such a slacker you get a bonus post, a 2-fer if you will!

Week 31 is/was as follows...

Let me start by saying that we were at the beach last week and I put zero effort into anything that didn’t require soaking up the sun and lounging by the pool. I was going to mention the new gum that I tried while I was there but realized it was given to me by a freind and I had no idea of the details – so I have to go with some new fudge. It was called Caramel Nut Roll (I think) and it was divine, I made 2 separate trips to the candy store in Seaside to purchase these little morsels of heaven. *sigh*

Week 32....

Since I’m still eating no meat, I’ve started exploring the world of vegetarian recipes. This week I tried Vegetarian Stuffed Peppers – While they were hearty and filling the flavor was lacking. I will definitely try this or a similar recipe again in the future, it will just need a little kick. I loved the ingredients, and the fact that they cooked in the crockpot, just needed more flavor. If you have one to share, please pass it along!

For more New Things or if you’d like to participate in 52 new things along with BirminghamMommy and many others – please join in by posting your new thing to your blog, facebook or on twitter (use #52newthings) – Also, you can head over to www.willblogforshoes.com to link up every Thursday!

Vegetarian Inc.

2010-08-11T12:54:00.000-05:00

It's been about 6 weeks or so since I've had meat (not counting seafood.) As I mentioned in one of my recent New Things, Husband and I watched Food Inc and have not been the same since.

I never started out with a mission of not ever eating meat again.. I figured that after watching that documentary the horrible images would fade (they still might) and I would be cruising through the drive thrus and stuffing my face with Five Guys burgers within a week or so, only those images haven't faded, the statistics are in my head and I actually enjoy eating this healthier lifestyle. What does this mean?

Well, while I was running this morning it hit me that I'm probably running way deficient on my protein intake, I'm sluggish and just feel like I need more protein (hard to explain) so I decided that with my strong craving for some Zaxby's, today was the day I consume meat (other than fish) for the first time in weeks... I could almost taste the Kickn' Chicken sandwich, only when I went to order it, I couldn't do it. I ordered a salad instead.

Part of my decision was the guilt for ruining what I've been working so hard to do - lose weight and eat healthy. (organically and locally)

The other part was the thought of eating those buffalo sauce soaked hunks of chicken. I thought maybe smaller chunks on a salad would be more manageable.

We got home and I promptly removed all of the chicken from my salad. I absolutely could not stop thinking about those chickens that are so over grown that their little bones and muscles can't support their weight - I couldn't stop thinking about them falling over and laying around in their own shit because they are engineered to grow 3 times faster than normal.

I can't bring myself to eat meat, I just can't do it. I'm not sure if I will again, the information is everywhere you turn. And to kick it up a notch, I just saw a horrifying trailer for a new Documentary by Joaquin Phoenix. It's called Earthlings. I won't be able to see this movie, I can hardly watch the trailer. But if you do click that link, be warned. To say it's harsh does not even describe it... I think it may have been the nail in my meat eating coffin.

Hi, I'm Angie and I think I'm a vegetarian......

Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming.....

2010-08-07T22:18:00.002-05:00

We left the Y with 6 swim lessons under our belt. Our lessons ended only days before we packed up and headed to the beach. I knew there would be practicing, I knew there would be Floatie - less time with her while we were on vacation but I never expected this! I'm so excited and had a great time this week watching her figure it out and become basically a fish in the water.

My New Thing - Week 30

2010-08-05T22:14:00.000-05:00

I may have done this already as a new thing, but I tried another new chapstick ( I have a slight addiction to chapstick) It’s Chapstick Botanical Medley and I love it. It doesn’t have too much fake flavor and it’s very smooth. If you share my addiction to all things lip balm, pick one up!

For more New Things or if you’d like to participate in 52 new things along with BirminghamMommy and many others – please join in by posting your new thing to your blog, facebook or on twitter (use #52newthings) – Also, you can head over to www.willblogforshoes.com to link up every Thursday!

My New Thing - Week 29

2010-07-29T12:50:00.000-05:00

I’ve been wearing my hair “not straight.” I went in for a haircut and started talking to my stylist about how wavy/curly/kinky/not straight my hair is naturally and how tired I was of fighting it. She worked her magic and taught me the in’s and out’s of using my diffuser and the importance of “product.” I like it, Husband likes it and I have to say it really is easier than fighting it and always having to blow dry it. Not sure I will keep it this way for long but it’s nice to have options and it’s nice to know how to encourage the curl in this yucky, hot, humid deep south summer.

For more New Things or if you’d like to participate in 52 new things along with BirminghamMommy and many others – please join in by posting your new thing to your blog, facebook or on twitter (use #52newthings) – Also, you can head over to www.willblogforshoes.com to link up every Thursday!

Spell Check, ever heard of it?

2010-07-27T19:02:00.002-05:00

It's obvious when I go through my reader and see all of the mistakes in my posts that I really should take advantage of that little thing called "Spell Check."

Forgive me, my "blog time" used to be quiet afternoons while children were sleeping, but now it's a stolen moment while they are supposed to be playing or eating - I get interrupted. A lot.. I get bumped and sat on, and I just don't have the energy or attention span to go back and proof my work. I'm sorry.

Weight Loss Challenge Update!

2010-07-25T12:08:00.002-05:00

Let me start by saying, getting old SUCKS! After getting off to a very sloooooow start and 1 pound gain, my body decided to get on board with my plan and started to shed some LB's.

I think it's been just over 2 weeks and I'm down to 144. I don't think that I'll make the 10lb goal before August 1st, but it won't be for lack of trying.

My eating has been really good, I've even cut out sweet tea (Gasp!) I'm exercising regularly but did skip a few days because I didn't get up early enough to beat the heat. I'm a wuss when it comes to heat and giving myself a heatstroke over 6lbs just isn't worth it.

My plan for this week is to kick up the exercise and make it a priority to get up and get in a run or walk. As for eating, the only thing I can really cut out right now is the occasional sweet I've still allowed myself, which honestly hasn't been much. My calorie count is extremely low and having a bite of a chocolate chip cookie or 1/2 of a cupcake has been accounted for.

Seven days and counting...

My New Thing - Week 28

2010-07-24T12:03:00.002-05:00

I went an entire week without eating meat. It’s not like I set out to become a vegetarian, I watched Food, Inc. (watch it, I dare you.) and I can’t shake the images and information from my head. I’m not sure I’ll never eat meat again but I’ve certainly never gone an entire week without it, and right now it’s just too fresh on my mind, so I guess you can call me a “temporary vegetarian.”

For more New Things or if you’d like to participate in 52 new things along with BirminghamMommy and many others – please join in by posting your new thing to your blog, facebook or on twitter (use #52newthings) – Also, you can head over to www.willblogforshoes.com to link up every Thursday!

Ask and Ye Shall... Burn

2010-07-11T15:22:00.002-05:00

I haven't been in the sun at all this summer - I've been complaining that I could be related to Casper the ghost I'm so white. I don't count the rockin' farmers tan I've been sporting from the minimal outside time I've had with the girls, so when the Munchkin started her swim lessons last Friday I was excited (and slightly appalled) about the opportunity to finally get in my swimsuit and soak up some vitamin D.

Staying true to my Tanorexic Self, I ignored the sunblock (for myself only) and took my chances with the straight glorious rays of sun.. I burned. Bad. We stayed longer than I thought we would and I paid (am still paying) the price.

I know I need to be more careful, but in my head I always think, "It'll be tan by tomorrow" well, not this time. I'm fried, like a crispy critter. I'll spare you a picture, I can't imagine anyone wants to really see sunburned skin (this goes along with food that you have eaten off of, BTW) But trust me when I tell you it's a very odd, indescribable shade of red.

We have swim lessons again tomorrow and this "Tanorexic" will be applying some sunscreen.

10 Pound Weight Loss Challenge

2010-07-08T12:12:00.004-05:00

Here I am again.. facing pool time and a trip to the beach without having lost that 10 pounds I swore I would lose by summer time this year... It's a promise I make to myself every year and fail to follow through on.

I've decided as of 4th of July weekend I'm going to lose 10 pounds before we go to the beach in about a month. I do not plan to use gimmicky diets, starve myself, or cut off my arm. I'm going to lose 10 pounds by watching what I eat and exercising like a maniac.

Since my last weight loss challenge at the end of last year, I've slowly put on the few pounds that I had lost. I think I was somewhere around 141 at the lowest of that challenge. Now I'm sitting at 148.5.....again.

I don't like sharing this information with the world but I figure I need the accountability. So here we go.. I don't plan to make regular updates I just plan to lose 10 pounds before August 1.. I'll update at some point, and if I don't, just assume that I failed to keep my promise yet again and maybe don't rub it in my face?

My New Thing - Week 26

2010-07-06T16:41:00.001-05:00

I bought new cleaning wipes. I know they aren't the most eco-friendly thing around but I always like to keep a big tub of them sitting in my kitchen. It makes wiping down counter tops and sticky placements easier and faster. I was at Publix looking for my favorite, Greenworks. I like the ginormous tub but they were out, so I tried the Seventh Generation and they flat out stink. Not as in they don't work, they literally stink. I can't stand the smell of them or the smell it leaves on my counters and my hands. Needless to say I won't be buying these again. I would consider this weeks "New Thing" a fail.

For more New Things or if you’d like to participate in 52 new things along with BirminghamMommy and many others – please join in by posting your new thing to your blog, facebook or on twitter (use #52newthings) – Also, you can head over to www.willblogforshoes.com to link up every Thursday!

Puketastrophe

2010-07-02T17:50:00.003-05:00

Remember not so long ago when I told you about the dreadful pooptastrophe we had during bathtime? Well today during park time, we had round 2. Only instead of poop, it was puke.

We were meeting some friends to play at the park, yes I know it's hot and no, I didn't plan to stay very long. From the time we pulled in to the time we were in the car on the way home it was almost exactly an hour - I tell you this so you don't think I'm a crazy neglectful Mom who takes her kids out when it's 90+ degrees without expecting there to be consequences. I loaded them up on water and juice so we were prepared for the 30 or so minutes we actually spent playing.

"Ashley" was the first to show signs of weakness, she came over to me while we were on the playground and started laying on me, she was sweaty and saying "Go Go Go." I can take a hint. I gave the Munchkin her 5 minute warning and started loading our snacks and sippys back into the bag.

I grabbed the twins who refused to walk, carried them to the car, Munchkin sulking but following. I loaded "Ashley" into the car, buckled her up and she puked. All over everything, 3 times.

I got her out of the car, she puked some more, all over me, all over my bag more on herself. I stripped her down, wiped her off, cleaned out her seat the best I could and borrowed a towel from a friend who thankfully was there to help me out.

I loaded her in again, then loaded "MaryKate." I turned around to see/hear Munchkin vomit all over the parking lot. She puked 3 times. I felt like I was in a Saturday Night Live skit. There was literally vomit spewing everywhere I turned. Very Linda Blair-esque, only without the spinning head.

I was drenched in sweat, covered in vomit and laughing. K apologized for laughing too, but it was another one of those moments where you just have to laugh. All I could do was laugh and ask "What is happening here?" I have never seen so much vomit in my life, what are the odds that 2 out of 3 kids are going to vomit on me at the park?

On the way home "Mary Kate" verped and I nearly had a panic attack. She laughed, the Munchkin was telling me it was ok because she had a bag to catch her puke. I laughed again.

I cannot even describe to you the odor in my car on this hot summer day. A vomit soaked car seat is worse than a rouge sippy of milk... Trust me on this.

Ain't life grand?

My New Thing - Week 25

2010-06-30T13:07:00.002-05:00

I panicked when I realized I didn’t have a single new thing to talk about this past week, that or I just couldn’t remember what it was so I went to the store and bought a new flavor of ice cream. I chose wisely. I love Heath Bar anything so I picked up the Ben and Jerry’s Vanilla Heath Bar and it was superb! Try it!

For more New Things or if you’d like to participate in 52 new things along with BirminghamMommy and many others – please join in by posting your new thing to your blog, facebook or on twitter (use #52newthings) – Also, you can head over to www.willblogforshoes.com to link up every Thursday!

The One Where Mommy Has a Tantrum.

2010-06-25T15:00:00.003-05:00

My kids are loud. Really really loud. Loud and shrill. When they get on a tangent they feed off of each other getting louder and louder until you literally are paralyzed not able to even think. The term "so loud I can't hear myself think," does not even begin to describe the scenario that happens in our car on a regular basis.

Today, it was bad. I was going through a drive thru to get a drink. I couldn't hear to order, I couldn't even hear the lady at the window. I practically threw my money at her and floored it it was so embarrassing.

I've tried ignoring, I've tried asking them to stop, I don't spank and I'm not an advocate of spritzing them in the face with water. So today the noise was so loud I pulled into a parking space a sat. There was no way in hell it was safe for me to try and drive with the noise they were making. They continued to scream and after a few minutes of me trying to "reason" with them, I decided what the hell? If you can't beat em' join em' So I did.

I screamed. I screamed louder and longer than any of them. They got quiet. They stayed quiet. They (and anyone parked near us) may now think that Mommy has lost her mind but for the 10 minute car ride home, no one made a noise. Not a peep.

Is that one of my finer parenting moments? Not at all! But it sure did feel good.

It reminded me a lot of this commercial that I think is awesome:

My New Thing - Week 24

2010-06-23T15:12:00.004-05:00

I had to choose between this and telling you about my experience with some nachos I've never ordered before, since I seem to always talk about food, this won out.

I bought a new holder for my iphone for when I run. I’ve tried several different things over time and haven’t been able to find anything that I really like. The one I bought goes on my arm. I don’t love it, but it’s the best of anything I’ve tried and it sure beats carrying it in my hand.

For more New Things or if you’d like to participate in 52 new things along with BirminghamMommy and many others – please join in by posting your new thing to your blog, facebook or on twitter (use #52newthings) – Also, you can head over to www.willblogforshoes.com to link up every Thursday!

Pooptastrophe

2010-06-16T16:26:00.004-05:00

I'm going to try and relay the sequence of events as accurately as possible. Please note that there will be no need for exaggeration in this story, the way you read it is the way it actually went down.

I decided it was time to bathe the girls again, I do it as little as possible because it's such a pain in the ass. The Munchkin is fine but would rather take a shower, the twins hate it. At least one of them usually gets on board while the other makes the experience miserable from start to finish for all of us.

Today, "Ashley" was playing happily in the tub with the Munchkin. "Mary Kate" wasn't cooperating so I decided to let her do her thing while locked in the bathroom with us. I figured I would just dunk her in when everyone else was done and get it over with.

Munchkin and "Ashley" were playing when all of the sudden "Ashley" dropped a deuce in the tub, missing the Munchkin by mere centimeters, she never noticed. I quickly unloaded everyone from the tub and figured that "Ashley" wasn't done, so my first reaction was to sit her on the toilet. This went over so well, I'm sure that she will now be scarred and probably never use a real toilet again. (Bye Bye Potty Training.) In her attempts to free herself from my grips and the toilet, she smeared poo all over the seat and escaped.

She proceeded to finish her pooping in front of my closet doors.

Picture it:
One twin pooping on the floor while the other is screaming and banging to get out of the bathroom, now add in the Munchkin running in circles, dripping wet telling me that the turd is trying to go down the drain.

See why I hate bath time?

I brought the kicking screaming pooper back to the bathroom to clean her up while yelling for the Munchkin to go get the wipes. "Mary Kate" escaped.

I got her cleaned up, I fished the turd from the drain, cleaned the toilet, the tub and the toys. I stuck the Munchkin in the shower, ran clean bathwater and went to retrieve the twins one at a time to find that "Ashley" in her attempt to escape my bedroom had pee'd on the floor.

This all happened in approximately 23 minutes.

I can't stop laughing, I laughed while I cleaned, I laughed while they screamed, I laughed while telling Ms T the story and I'm laughing now as I type... Have I officially lost my mind? Is this a sign of crazy?

Me. Running.

2010-06-14T13:23:00.001-05:00

I realize that title is for the most part laughable but lately I've been running. If you want to find out from who check me out over at Deep South Mom Blogs..

My New Thing - Week 22

2010-06-08T17:25:00.000-05:00

I tried something new at Zaxby's. I love their salads and decided to try the new Chicken Salad Sandwich. I like it a lot. I have to say it's not as good as Zoe's but better than Chick-Fil-A. I'm a chicken salad nut, so anywhere I can get good chicken salad without getting out of my car makes me happy.

For more New Things or if you’d like to participate in 52 new things along with BirminghamMommy and many others – please join in by posting your new thing to your blog, facebook or on twitter (use #52newthings) – Also, you can head over to www.willblogforshoes.com to link up every Thursday!

Can You Say Fanatic? I Knew You Could.

2010-06-05T13:47:00.002-05:00

Today I excused myself to go get "lunch" for the family and decided since I was already over that way *wink wink* I would swing by the bookstore and pick up the new Novella by Stephanie Meyer, The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner. Its going to make a fine addition to my ever growing Twilight collection.

It wasn't until I was leaving the store, book in hand that I realized I was wearing my 100 Monkeys t-shirt (that happens to be signed by the band) Nice.

I might officially be over the edge.

My New Thing - Week 21

2010-06-01T16:11:00.000-05:00

Hold on to your hats folks this one is riveting.. it also shows how much of a sucker I am for product placement.

For my it was my first time to try Snapple.. Don't judge me. I happen to be a fan of Celebrity Apprentice (you can judge me now) and their last assignment involved Snapple. I was thinking that it all looked tasty and would be yummy if ice cold during this summer, so I bought some and it was meh.

I don't hate it, but don't love it like I thought I would.. Maybe it was the flavor choice, so I think next time I'll try something not diet and in a different flavor.

For more New Things or if you’d like to participate in 52 new things along with BirminghamMommy and many others – please join in by posting your new thing to your blog, facebook or on twitter (use #52newthings) – Also, you can head over to www.willblogforshoes.com to link up every Thursday!

The Kickoff to our 2010 Summer O' Fun

2010-05-30T22:22:00.002-05:00

I didn't put the Munchkin is school this summer because I miss her when she's at school. Next year she will go 5 days a week and it's breaking my heart.

Now that the twins are a little more tote-able, I wanted to fill this summer full of fun, movies, some day camps, playdates and of course some travel.

Find out what happens when I take my show on the road, I've broken all of the details down for you over at Deep South Mom Blogs - stop by and let me know I'm not the only one whose children turn into unrecognizable beings when they travel.

Blinding.

2010-05-28T16:17:00.002-05:00

Not unlike "Li-Lo" my legs are so white it's hard to tell where my white shorts end and my thigh begins.

I need to tan. Soon.

That is all.

A New Gig.

2010-05-25T19:08:00.003-05:00

There are so many exciting things happening in my life right now and I can't even begin to express how thankful I am for all of the things I have and all of the things I am able to do.

Following the Lines suggested to me a while back that I should "try out" for a blog network called Deep South Mom Blogs, part of the Silicon Valley Mom Blogs. It's a huge network with sites all across the Country. I don't fancy myself a writer but I applied anyway. A bit of time passed, and she was chosen to write for Chicago Moms Blog, I didn't think anything of it, and just wrote it off. I literally had zero expectations. Then out of the blue about a month ago, I got a response saying they would like to have me on board.

I was thrilled! Shocked that they chose me to write along side some serious talent. People who are actually writers, and editors, people who do more than just wipe poop and report about it via a personal blog. I'm humbled.

My first post went up last week titled Smack That!

Find out how I managed to leave the McWane Science Center without causing bodily harm to some rowdy kids.

My New Thing - Week 20

2010-05-25T15:10:00.005-05:00

We visited the Cincinnati zoo. It was incredible. We were in Lexington visiting my sister and decided to make the drive a little over an hour north. The girls had a blast, I can’t say enough about how nice the zoo was. They have tons of animals, animals that we don’t have here at our zoo so it was a great change of pace. The polar bears were putting on a show and kept the girls mesmerized for a long time. If you are ever up that way, stop in but be prepared to spend the day, the zoo is massive.

Make sure to mention your zoo membership if you have one for Birmingham. We were able to save 50% on admission, it was just over $20 for me and my 3 girls.

For more New Things or if you’d like to participate in 52 new things along with BirminghamMommy and many others – please join in by posting your new thing to your blog, facebook or on twitter (use #52newthings) – Also, you can head over to www.willblogforshoes.com to link up every Thursday!

These Sunglasses?

2010-05-20T10:50:00.000-05:00

Don't look good on anyone..

Not even Robert Pattinson.

I'm sorry to inform you, they just don't. I actually like the glasses (and Robert Pattinson, in case you didn't know) but I have yet to see anyone that could actually pull this look off.

Just thought I would share my random thought for the day.

My New Thing - Week 19

2010-05-18T15:32:00.002-05:00

The word of the week for me was “Unsubscribe.” Somewhere over the past year I’ve managed to get on email lists for approximately 1.2 million different companies. My inbox had become so flooded with useless advertisements, sales, coupons and political endorsements that I couldn’t manage to weed through them all in a day. I was losing actual emails that I needed so I decided to remove myself from 99% of the lists I was on. I still have a long way to go but my inbox is definitely a little less packed!

For more New Things or if you’d like to participate in 52 new things along with BirminghamMommy and many others – please join in by posting your new thing to your blog, facebook or on twitter (use #52newthings) – Also, you can head over to www.willblogforshoes.com to link up every Thursday!

The Munchkin on Music....

2010-05-12T12:50:00.003-05:00

I've blogged about this in the past but I just have to say again how much we (me and the girls) enjoy music. We seem to always have music going, singing dancing and playing together. Of course you probably know too that I don't do kids music and as a result neither do my children, thankfully.

I love driving down the road having the Munchkin shout out requests from the back seat that include, John Mayer, Coldplay, The Black Eyed Peas, Michael Jacksons "spooky song" (Thriller) and most recently she is obsessed with Taylor Swift.

While running errands today the Munchkin asked if we could listen to Love Story, then said, "I just love that song, it's so magical and makes everyday magic and nice" Then proceeded to tell me how magical music makes the leaves stay on the trees, makes the water smooth and keeps it from raining.

In the car on the way home again, she requested the "melody in my head" song... I went through 3 or 4 songs not really sure which one she was referring to when she finally said, "you know the melody song by the guy with the brown face wearing a jacket and sitting like this" she struck a pose and immediately I realized she was talking about "Replay by Lyaz." Somehow someway she was able to see the cover on my ipod and put two and two together.. What's funny is that she was dead on, and it wasn't until she posed that I knew what she was talking about.

I love that kid and her musical taste.

My New Thing - Week 18

2010-05-11T15:16:00.002-05:00

Not terribly exciting but here it goes!

For me this week it’s all about a new moisturizer. I’ll admit, I don’t take great care of my skin. I’ve been a sun worshipper and tanorexic most of my life. I rarely wash my make up off and tend to use baby wipes more than my facial wash. I don’t buy expensive stuff and I’m not brand loyal. When I run out, I try whatever I see, or whatever my favorite celebrity is endorsing. I freed my radicals for the longest time just because Jennifer Garner was endorsing it! Anyway, I’ve now moved on to Neutrogena Aging Intensives – Deep wrinkle *gasp* formula. I figure now that I’m in my 30’s I should start paying attention to those fine lines that are appearing. So far I like it but it’s been less than a week. Let’s see if it really wipes out the frown lines!!

For more New Things or if you’d like to participate in 52 new things along with BirminghamMommy and many others – please join in by posting your new thing to your blog, facebook or on twitter (use #52newthings) – Also, you can head over to www.willblogforshoes.com to link up every Thursday!

Spam!

2010-05-09T20:23:00.003-05:00

For those of you that comment, I apologize for having to reinstate the word verification. I took it off a long time ago at the suggestion of articles saying you get more comments when readers don't have to jump through hoops, recently the spam has gotten out of control..

Please don't stop commenting! I love the feedback, just hate the spam!

We Are Women Hear Us Rawr!

2010-05-07T23:21:00.004-05:00

I was meeting a friend for lunch, a friend that even though both of her kids are in school will tolerate a lunch out with me last minute with the twinlets in tow.

It was nice out (and I mean it was 94 degrees) so we picked a place with a patio, she got there ahead of me and went in to place our order while I arrived and got us a seat on the patio. I was hauling the girls in our big ass double stroller, with our big ass diaper bag on the handle, full of all types of food, drink and bribes.. My basic errand running essentials. Nerds, Smarties, and raisins.

I was getting the girls settled with their bribes, bartering with them to give me just 20 minutes to woof down a bit of food before they went all toddler on me when I heard someone behind me say:

"You are a strong woman" I turned around and saw a man and his wife staring at me and the girls. I said, "I'm sorry, me?" And they both started nodding and telling me that they have a 4 month old and are afraid to go in public, that they don't see how I manage with twins.... I've heard this before, in fact it's a pity conversation that follows me pretty much every where I go. "Double trouble," "Don't you have your hands full," I've heard it all, usually I nod and say "We have our days" or "Oh no, it's not a big deal" but for some reason, right there in that moment, I thought - You're damn right I am! So I smiled politely and did something unheard of.... I accepted the compliment. It felt good.

For all of you Moms, my friends and family - you are strong women. I hope you all know it, and if a stranger ever tells you that, accept it and own it because it's true.

Happy Mothers Day to some of the strongest women out there! Have a fabulous weekend!!

My New Thing - Week 17

2010-05-04T15:11:00.003-05:00

Seems like I keep letting the cat out of the bag on my new thing right before I'm supposed to officially post it on Tuesday -- I will chalk that up to not really knowing what I did that was new until I have to sit and think...

I’m beginning to realize that a lot of the new things I try are because I’m forced to do so… For this week, I was forced into a new hair stylist. I called to make an appointment and my girl (of more than 3 years) was gone. The new girl did fine, but I want my old girl back. I’m on the verge of stalking every salon in the area until I find her.

For more New Things or if you’d like to participate in 52 new things along with BirminghamMommy and many others – please join in by posting your new thing to your blog, facebook or on twitter (use #52newthings) – Also, you can head over to www.willblogforshoes.com to link up every Thursday!

Hair Scare

2010-05-03T14:56:00.003-05:00

I don't get my hair cut as often as I should, my visits are probably every 8-10 weeks. I'm pretty low maintenance only getting a semi permanent color done in the winter. I'm letting my hair grow and until recently didn't have bangs. Some may say BORE - ING. I say, I have 3 kids and when my hair is long I can go DAYS without having to wash it... So there.

I called to make an appointment and was told that my stylist was no longer with the salon... GASP! I knew better than to ask, but I did:

"Do you know which salon she moved to?"

Lady on the phone, "No, I'm sorry we don't"

*Liar Liar Pants on Fire*

"But I'll be happy to refer you to another one of our stylists"

*Of course you would*

"How about J?"

Me: "I don't know, how about her? Is she new?"

Lady on the phone: "No she has been here for 4 years"

Me: "Alright, I'll give her a try"

Lady on the Phone: "What do you want to have done?"

*The absolute minimum*

Me: "Cut, style and brow wax"

I got my appointment set up and while I was really thinking about some highlights for the summer, I decided to not press my luck and just get past this initiation process. I hate this process, I had been with my last girl for over 3 years. We weren't friends, but we knew a lot about each other, we had a lot in common, I miss her and want her back. She could have at least left a post it!

I met the new girl, and she did a fine job. She took forever and ripped a little skin from my eye lid during the wax but I guess it's better than a chunk out of my hair. I think I scared her more than she scared me. I asked her lots of questions about her experience and even tried not so covertly to find out where my other girl went. She was tight lipped.

What I do know is that my girl didn't go back to Louisiana. What I also know is that her husband is a Stylist at a local salon, would it be creepy and somewhat stalker-ish to try and find her?

I think I might.

My New Thing - Week 16

2010-04-27T13:58:00.002-05:00

This week my New Thing is a 2 for one. Pretty much what I blogged about in my last post, but for official documentation, here is the run down.

There is a great venue here in Birmingham called the Workplay Theater. Lots of concerts and events are held there, and while I've been there before, I had never actually attended a concert there, it's a great place for a show! The 2nd New Thing? Seeing Hottie Vampire Jackson Rathbone (aka Jasper Hale from Twilight) in concert with his band 100 Monkeys. We even got to meet and TOUCH him. I guess that could count as a 3rd thing, huh? It was all in all a great night of New Things!

For more New Things or if you’d like to participate in 52 new things along with BirminghamMommy and many others – please join in by posting your new thing to your blog, facebook or on twitter (use #52newthings) – Also, you can head over to www.willblogforshoes.com to link up every Thursday!

My Encounter with 100 Monkeys

2010-04-21T16:44:00.008-05:00

Last night, Jackson Rathbones band 100 Monkeys rolled through town. Me and several friends thought it would be fun to attend. Honestly, and maybe this is bad to say, but I'm really not a fan of their music, it kind of sucks to be brutally honest. I like a couple of songs and they are much better live than on itunes, I really went just to drink and stare at this hot vampire for a couple of hours, in my mind anything else would be gravy.... And good gravy, we had a fantastic time and encounter with Jackson and the band!

It started when one of the security guys, Walter took a liking to us. I'm not really sure why, but he did. Our seats were also really good and he kept going in and out of a door that was right behind us. He came over and was talking to us about the music, we told him we were there for Jackson not the music... He laughed and said "You know he's right behind that door..." We kind of played along, not really sure what to believe, we told him to bring him out, he disappeared through the door and came back with Jackson! Holy Crap, we couldn't believe it, Jackson snuck out, introduced himself, asked our names, shook our hands and snuck back through the door. Girls started squealing and we felt special, I won't lie.

As I mentioned the show was actually good. Jackson threw several looks our way and accomodated us taking his picture while he was on stage. We decided to buy the band some shots (Alabama Slammers, of course) and our Security guy Walter, said he would get them to the band and tell them they were from us... He did. Did I mention that Walter rocks?

After the show we were able to meet all of them, got our shirts signed and they thanked us for the shots, and said they were very "effective." Really cute Mohawk guy even texted RandomMommy from my phone since she had to leave early -

I can't say enough about how sweet these guys are, even if you don't like the music, check them out if they come to your city, it's really a fun show to see..

Here's cutie patootie Jackson in the pics I was able to get...

New Thing - Week 15

2010-04-20T13:34:00.002-05:00

In the spirit of “Green Month” I have switched the Twinlets over to Seventh Generation chlorine free diapers. I love them! I’ve tried another brand before that didn’t work out too well, but I have fallen in love with these and plan to keep on using them. They don’t even leak overnight!! They are a little more expensive but now that we don’t go through quite so many diapers in a day, I can stomach the cost and know that I’m doing a little something to help the environment.

For more New Things or if you’d like to participate in 52 new things along with BirminghamMommy and many others – please join in by posting your new thing to your blog, facebook or on twitter (use #52newthings) – Also, you can head over to www.willblogforshoes.com to link up every Thursday!

MASS

2010-04-19T13:55:00.002-05:00

I'm guessing that most of my readers are Moms, so I wanted to take a second and ask for your help.

After attending the visitation last week of a 2 year old little girl that was killed after being hit by a neighbors car while they were backing up - several friends and myself were talking about how it should be mandatory that all cars have back up sensors or cameras of some type to help keep this from happening.

We know that this issue is important to Moms everywhere and we need help and numbers across the United States, this is not just a local issue or problem. We have to reach car companies everywhere and we need your help. Even if you don't have time to devote to researching or petitioning, we can use you has a number.

Our group is called MASS - Mothers Are So Strong. This group is an advocacy group for children, and for all Moms, relatives and friends of children. Our first mission, and the reason we came to be, is to create a bill requiring all vehicles on the road to be equipped with rear obstacle sensors.

There is current legislation on this issue and we have the names of groups and Senators that have been involved in passing this along.. Let's join forces and push this issue.

You can get all of the info my joining our Facebook page at: http://www.facebook.com/#!/group.php?gid=112009675500305&ref=ss

I Slept Holding Her Hand...

2010-04-14T14:50:00.002-05:00

A lot of people that read this blog know the family or have heard about the accident in the news. On Sunday a sweet friend that I met through our local Mommies Group lost her 2 year old little girl in a tragic accident.

I have not been able to stop thinking about this family. When you are a Mom, things like this hit home more than ever before. My heart goes out to this family and all of those involved.

Sunday night after I heard the news, all I wanted to do was hug my girls. I let the Munchkin sleep in our bed, and I fell asleep holding her hand. Life is precious, it is short and it is unpredictable.

If you pray, please pray for this family, if you don't pray, send all of the positive vibes and good thoughts you have, tomorrow they will bury their little girl and will need all of the strength they can get.

A Facebook page has been set up for people to help the family. If you have time or the resources please consider this family...

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/note.php?note_id=412761333618&id=642978383

New Thing - Week 14

2010-04-13T15:26:00.002-05:00

For this week, my new thing was that I purchased and wore an animal print dress.

This may not seem like a big deal to most, but I don't do animal prints. Shirts, shoes, pants, dresses, even purses, I have always steered clear of them, thinking they actually look better on the animal rather than a bag or clothes. It just hasn't been my style.

I was out shopping and saw this really cute dress, and it was an animal print. I loved the style and it fit, so I bought it. I'm happy with it, I just don't foresee making a habit of turning my closet into a wearable zoo, but I guess one dress does not a zoo make. Rawr!

For more New Things or if you’d like to participate in 52 new things along with BirminghamMommy and many others – please join in by posting your new thing to your blog, facebook or on twitter (use #52newthings) – Also, you can head over to www.willblogforshoes.com to link up every Thursday!

My Easter Cuties

2010-04-08T12:07:00.010-05:00

Hunting eggs this year was fun. The Twinlets are now old enough to participate and "get it" so it made for some great family fun!