Wednesday, October 31, 2012

From Slut to House Elf. The New Spirit of Halloween.

It's no secret that Halloween provides girls with the perfect opportunity to dress like a slut. Until you become a Mom.

I've been there. 

This was me, then. A Stripper.


 This is me, now. A House Elf.


Ain't Life Grand?

Happy Halloween!

Monday, October 29, 2012

A Very Potter Halloween

We always wait until a couple of days before Halloween to carve our pumpkins. It seems to always be the exact day when the temperature drops and it's as cold as balls outside. But when I say "we" carve the pumpkin, I totally mean the Husband and the kids. And yes, I make them go outside, in the cold. I don't need that goop all over my kitchen.

If it weren't for him and his ability to watch 3 children, while using sharp objects to cut through a giant fruit (botanically speaking it's a fruit, I googled it) we wouldn't carve pumpkins. It's just not my thang.

So, we're a little Potter obsessed this Halloween and since a couple of our costumes are Potter themed, we decided (I decided and told the Husband) to try a Harry Potter Pumpkin. Looks good, I think.


Good, Daddy.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Truth. Dare. Hell. No.

My seven year old came home yesterday excited to tell me about a new game she played with her friends at school. When I asked and she replied "Truth or Dare, have you heard of it?" I stopped dead in my tracks, knowing this was one of those subjects I was going to need to explore, but didn't want to. All of the worst possible scenarios started rushing through my brain. Don't act like you don't know.

I started asking questions, treading very lightly as to not make her clam up. At the first sign or feeling that she's getting in trouble for something, she shuts down and begins to modify her stories. She's going to make a great teenager.

So I asked, (nonchalantly of course)

"Oh yeah? Who did you play with?"  Please don't say older boys on the playground..

"I've heard of that game, what kind of things were your truths..." Meh. How many skeletons can she possibly have, I'm more concerned with the dares at this point...

"Did anyone dare you? What was the dare..." Please say you ate a booger...

Oh! They dared you to walk across a balance beam? Ok.

She must have noticed the relief in my voice because then she stopped, looked at me and asked:

"Why? Isn't that how you used to play it?"

My reply?  "Oh yes. Absolutely. Exactly like we used to play it."

So. Sue me.

Friday, October 19, 2012

If You Don't Like It, Delete It.

The twins get nosebleeds. A lot. A while back when we were having a pretty tough run with one or both of them getting nose bleeds just about every night, I implemented a rule that they could only have 5 things in their beds. 5 pillows, 5 stuffed animals, 5 babies or a combination of the 3, as long as they had no more than 5. Changing the sheets everyday is bad enough when you aren't having to wade through 37 things on each bed.

While putting sheets back on the bed yesterday, I realized things had accumulated again. In a fit of frustration trying to work around her stash, I asked "Mary Kate" what happened to our rule of 5? Out of the blue "Ashley" wandered in and joined the conversation.

Me to Mary Kate: "What happened to our rule of only 5 things on the bed?"

Mary Kate: *Silent* *Blink Blink*

Ashley: "What? That Rule? We deleted it."

Me: "You deleted it, huh?"

Ashley: "Uh-Huh. We didn't like it, so we deleted it"

Me: "Is that so?"

Ashley: "Yup..... Deleted."


Mary Kate: " *Sigh* Now, can you put my animals back on my bed?"

If only it were that easy to do away with the things I don't like!


Monday, October 15, 2012

A Twinlet Switcheroo. Age 4

And so it begins.

On Saturday the family was sitting around eating lunch. Half way through, "Ashley" decided she didn't want to eat anymore, but had not even touched her sandwich. After explaining to her that she had to eat her sandwich in order to go play, an emotional breakdown commenced. It was made worse as her sisters finished and resumed playtime without her.

After listening to her for about 5 minutes, I explained again that she was going to sit there until she finished and crying wasn't going to help. Fast forward another 5 minutes or so and "Mary Kate" started getting all "twin-like" and concerned about her other half. She then wanted to help her sister, asking if she could go in there. I told her she was welcome to keep her company but "Ashley" had to eat her own sandwich. Everyone said they understood, so I headed back to to watch the Auburn game. (Why? I have no idea. That's another post, another time)

After a bit, I realized that I hadn't heard any complaining or whining so I went to investigate. As I rounded the corner, I glanced into the living room and saw Munchkin sitting on the sofa watching a movie on the ipad, a twin to her right. That twin was holding "Mary Kate's" Lovey. I went on into the kitchen and saw a twin from behind, eating "Ashley's" sandwich. Only something was amiss.

The wrong twin was on the sofa with the Lovey.

The wrong twin was eating the sandwich.

The twins had attempted to fool me. Propping "Ashley" on the sofa with "Mary Kate's" Lovey and "Mary Kate" was polishing off her 2nd sandwich, to help her sister earn her way out of the kitchen.

Follow me? They knowingly swapped roles. They're 4.

When I confronted the sandwich eater, she simply replied: "It would have worked if I had on her shirt." What!? They're 4.

Four.