Monday, April 23, 2012

My Whole Life Has Been A Lie...

This past weekend was a fun filled, jam packed few days with some of my favorite women. My Family.  We decided a couple of months ago to take a trip up to Kentucky to see my sister, and have a little girls weekend away.

On the car ride up, we started talking about how we like to cuss. This revelation is not new to people who know me well at all, but learning that the women in my family (and my new honorary/adopted Aunt D.) also have potty mouth tendencies, was news to me.

 I was proud.

As the conversation progressed and everyone was admitting their favorite word (mine is the F-bomb... of course.) We then switched to translating bad words into German, French and Spanish.

Me and My Nanny
She teaches me to cuss AND gamble


My Grandmother is from Germany, and my Mother was born in Berlin, so learning bits of German growing up was a given. But, what I always liked most was thinking that I knew a few bad words in a language none of my teachers, friends or other adults would understand if I said them.

I never thought to verify these words and didn't have access to google translator back in the "old days." So as I continued to use the phrase "Ach du liebe Minch," thinking I was really letting someone have it, I was disappointed to learn that I was really only saying - "Oh Good Heavens, you PERSON!"

I was deflated.

Completely dejected.

Confused.

My whole life has been a lie.

So, I did what every good potty mouth would have done when faced with this news.... I began pumping my Grandmother for TRUE dirty words in German.

Because things don't quite translate accurately, and she swears they don't say really bad words in Germany (yeah right, I do have google translator now!) The best I could get out of her was:

Verflucht

So the next time you hear me say "Verflucht You, You Minch!"   Or "Fick dich."  Please know that I have done my homework.

And no matter what:  "Scheiße ist immer noch Scheiße."

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