Monday, March 26, 2012

Fat Man, Little Stall...

I don't know what it is about Chick-Fil-A that drives my children to embarrass me in ways I've never been embarrassed before, but somehow it continues to happen.

Friday, different location, different twin.

We were hanging out with some friends when "Mary Kate" came running out of the play area holding herself, screaming that she needed to pee - and from the looks of it, may or may not make it to the restroom.

I whisked her away and headed to the ladies bathroom to find both stalls occupied. I set her down and told her to hold it for just another minute. Not believing that both stalls were full, she proceeded to bend down and look underneath the door. I told her to stop, that it wasn't polite to look under stall doors. She asked why, and I explained that someone was in there going potty, and would like to do so with some privacy.

The rest of the conversation went like this:

MK: Who Needs Privacy?

Me: The person in the stall

MK: Oh, the BIG FAT MAN in there?

Me: Oh Shit - Shhhhh...  This is the ladies restroom.

MK: Well, that's a BIG FAT MAN in there...

BIG FAT MAN Lady In the Stall: *Chuckles Uncomfortably* and yells "Well, Thanks"

Me: Sorry!

But wait, there's more!

While many children would consider their work for humiliating their Parent complete at that point, not my child.

As we stood there waiting patiently and I tried to figure out how to actually will the ground to open up and swallow me, "Big Fat Man" (who was actually a large overweight women with very short hair) was the first one out of her stall, of course. I managed another weak "sorry" and she said, "Doesn't bother me any.."

We proceeded to try and cram ourselves into this too-small-for one-person-much-less-two-stall, when "Mary Kate" began to explain to me that we should fit, because the BIG FAT MAN did...

*Close Curtain*

Thursday, March 22, 2012

A Katy Perry Impersonation

Don't tell my husband she knows the words to this song..

Monday, March 19, 2012


It's been a while since I posted a weight loss update.. I'm still plugging away, slowly but surely. I think I mentioned early that my body likes to be at 144lbs or more. Well, here I sit. Stuck at 144. Again.

I'm still conscience about what I'm eating, and I'm still doing really well. I'm slacking some in the working out arena but I'm still getting in a couple a week.

The Husband, who also started a weight loss journey of his own in January, has lost about 25lbs and has not worked out one time. While I'm incredibly excited for him, it's frustrating to see someone sail to 25lbs when I'm stuck at 8, and it took a stomach flu to get there.

I have hit a plateau. It's time to re-group and get back to the basics, and see if I can bust through the next few pounds and get myself down to 140 for the first time in more than 4 years..

Protein shakes here I come.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

My Little Leprechauns

We took the girls downtown for their first ever St. Patrick's Day parade. The crowds were thin but I think because it's the beginning weekend to Spring Break a lot of people are vacation bound. The upside to there not being a ton of people, was that my kids racked up on the free shit and candy. It didn't hurt that they're incredibly adorable.

The Husband was quick to point out that they didn't have to compromise their morals to get people to give them beads (unlike their mother used to do.) I'm sure this method will change when they're 18 and on Bourbon Street.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

For the Love of all that is Conservative.

I had the opportunity to do some volunteer work yesterday at the Alabama Theatre for the Alabama GOP Presidential Forum... I know, I know. Fish out of water, right?

I laughed at my Mom for telling me to "keep an open mind," when she learned what I would be doing. Considering that I was going to be in a building surrounded by the most closed minded people ever, and being closed minded isn't something I'm actually known for, I thought she was joking. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized she was right. I shouldn't let my stereotyping and prejudice get in the way of this pretty cool experience. So, I went, mind open and willing to listen.

Here are a few things I picked up on while my mind was open:

A banjo playing music to keep the crowd occupied for the 2 hours they were going to have to wait to see their Presidential hopefuls. Appropriate for Alabama.

A 3 year old wearing a "Don't believe the Liberal Media" button. I'm pretty sure these were free at the door.

A man in a flag shirt tried to sticker me with a Santorum sticker. I almost kicked him, before declaring my body needed to be a political free zone since I was technically working.

When you attend one of these gatherings, people automatically assume you're on their "side" and like to have lengthy conversations regarding the sad sack of shit that is our current President, before asking where they can find the restroom.

If you pay close enough attention, you can get pretty good at guessing which side of the line someone falls on. For instance: Long hair pulled into a low bun, with long denim skirt, button down flower shirt and tennis shoes: Santorum.  Young hipster carrying a cool messenger bag: Ron Paul.

I also found it interesting that while Santorum was speaking, his supporters were yelling in agreement, when Newt spoke and actually said the same thing Santorum said, they were quiet. If you support the issue, you support the issue no matter who delivers the message right? Apparently not.

All in all, I went, I listened and I was completely underwhelmed by the 2 of them, and feel certain that Romney wouldn't have made much of an impression on me either. It's not that I went looking to have a radical transformation, but I did go in hopes of coming away with an understanding of what exactly people see in these Candidates, and while I see more in Gingrich (when he isn't dumbing it down,) I don't get it. I just don't.

Sorry, Mom. I tried. I guess I'm just an Obama girl at heart.

President Algae 2012 - Woot!

* No teleprompters were used in the delivery of this blog post *

Friday, March 09, 2012

Bing Travel

Authored by Rickey Combs

One of my good friends, who always seems like he is traveling places, let me in on his little travel secret the other day. I never understood how a ski instructor was able to fly everywhere and do everything on a shoe-string salary. His secret was Bing.Com. I decided to check it out. I logged onto, using my clear mount charleston connection and created a travel account. I think that it is one of the best things that I have done in a long time. It isn’t like any other travel site where it just searches for the best available rate. It searches for the best rates and also tracks flights for you. It tells you whether or not you should buy your ticket now or if the prices are going to fall later. It will send you updates as your selected flights prices change. It is really a cool tool. I ended up saving one hundred dollars on the last flight that I bought because it suggested that I wait, that prices for the tickets would be falling—and Bing was right! If you travel, you should definitely look into it.

Tuesday, March 06, 2012


So it appears as if My Lover is going to grace us with his presence again after a little over 2 long years of being away. We're still sticking with the "vocal chord" issues as our official statement regarding the break, but as you know, every relationship has it's dry spell.. Such is life.

With the buzz of the upcoming concert, it got me curious about how many times I've actually seen him perform - he's been to Birmingham a lot, and we owe a huge thank you to the great Scott Register (Reg's Coffee House) for introducing us to the musical magic that is John Mayer.

So after some digging, looking through old concert t-shirts and trying to rely on my very scattered memory, here is what I've come up with so far:

City Stages - 2000
Any Given Thursday - 2002
Heavier Things - November 2003
October 2006 - Oak Mountain
Continuum Tour with Ben Folds - 2007?
Battle Studies - February 2009

I'm sketchy about a show we saw that I think was at the old 5pts music hall...? No idea what year that was or if I even made that up..  The husband and I are also certain that we saw him when he toured with the John Mayer Trio, but can't remember a date on that.

It's approximately 8 times - with one pending. At what point do I cross over to stalker rather than "Obsessed Fan..."