Thursday, November 11, 2010

Dear McDonalds, You Evil Empire

To Whom it May Concern,

While I don't rank you as high as Wal Mart in my places to loathe list, you're closing in pretty quickly.

You see, I recently gave up eating meat, which means that my children aren't afforded the gracious opportunity to chow down on your odd shaped chicken nuggets and weird meat burgers very often. But because of your evil ways and connections to Disney you continue to be the source for many a meltdown in my household.

With the new movie "Mega Mind" coming out, I'm sure you know that your Happy Meals are being coveted by children all over the United States, including mine.

So in a moment of weakness last week, I caved and my experience has brought on a level of hatred I never new I had. Let me explain.

After what felt likes years of begging for a "Happy Meal with a Mega Mind toy," I surprised my girls with a trip through the drive thru. While waiting in your incredibly long line (yes both lanes were open to insure speedy service) my children had the great pleasure of staring at all of the Mega Mind advertising you have up on your windows and display boards. They saw the ad and knew they were finally going to get their grimey little hands on that toy. I ordered 3! Yes 3, of your nasty ass McNugget happy meals, (can't give to one without giving to all...) we waited, there was more screaming from the backseat and finally about 15 minutes later we finally get our 3 boxes, heavily decorated with more Mega Mind ads. We got home and opened them up to find, cold food, and some lame-o cat toy that has absolutely nothing to do with Mega Mind.

You put me in quite a pickle there McDonalds. Quite the pickle.

So after scraping my children off of the floor from their meltdowns (did I mention the lines were so long it cut into naptime?) I explained that the people there made a mistake (or did they?) and we would try again for these worthless toys one day soon.

So today, I tried a different McDonalds, the line was faster, the food was better and we actually got 3 Mega Mind toys.... too bad only 2 of them work. Thank you.

Yours Truly,

The Incoherent Rambler/hater if all things Evil Empire-ish

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