Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Pooptastrophe

I'm going to try and relay the sequence of events as accurately as possible. Please note that there will be no need for exaggeration in this story, the way you read it is the way it actually went down.

I decided it was time to bathe the girls again, I do it as little as possible because it's such a pain in the ass. The Munchkin is fine but would rather take a shower, the twins hate it. At least one of them usually gets on board while the other makes the experience miserable from start to finish for all of us.

Today, "Ashley" was playing happily in the tub with the Munchkin. "Mary Kate" wasn't cooperating so I decided to let her do her thing while locked in the bathroom with us. I figured I would just dunk her in when everyone else was done and get it over with.

Munchkin and "Ashley" were playing when all of the sudden "Ashley" dropped a deuce in the tub, missing the Munchkin by mere centimeters, she never noticed. I quickly unloaded everyone from the tub and figured that "Ashley" wasn't done, so my first reaction was to sit her on the toilet. This went over so well, I'm sure that she will now be scarred and probably never use a real toilet again. (Bye Bye Potty Training.) In her attempts to free herself from my grips and the toilet, she smeared poo all over the seat and escaped.

She proceeded to finish her pooping in front of my closet doors.

Picture it:
One twin pooping on the floor while the other is screaming and banging to get out of the bathroom, now add in the Munchkin running in circles, dripping wet telling me that the turd is trying to go down the drain.

See why I hate bath time?

I brought the kicking screaming pooper back to the bathroom to clean her up while yelling for the Munchkin to go get the wipes. "Mary Kate" escaped.

I got her cleaned up, I fished the turd from the drain, cleaned the toilet, the tub and the toys. I stuck the Munchkin in the shower, ran clean bathwater and went to retrieve the twins one at a time to find that "Ashley" in her attempt to escape my bedroom had pee'd on the floor.

This all happened in approximately 23 minutes.

I can't stop laughing, I laughed while I cleaned, I laughed while they screamed, I laughed while telling Ms T the story and I'm laughing now as I type... Have I officially lost my mind? Is this a sign of crazy?

3 comments:

countryfriedmama said...

The ability to laugh means that you are one awesome mom.

Maybe you can just use wipes instead of bathing them in the future. I'm sure that would work out fine.

Kellie said...

Nope. Not crazy. Totally normal. Morgan's 4 1/2 and I've never (knock on wood) had a pooptastrophe during tub time.

Of course, I now just jinxed myself and the boy will be the one to poop in the tub.

Michelle said...

That sounds awful!

If it makes you feel any better the dad of the twins I nanny for was bathing them the other night and one twin (11 months old) tumbled head first into the running bath water fully clothed. He recounted it something like this: Baby A is unrolling the entire roll of toilet paper while I try to start the bath water, remove baby A from toilet paper, in the meantime baby B is eating said toilet paper, remove baby B from toilet paper she is trying to eat, attempt to roll up toilet paper, hear ker-plunk and see baby A tumble into bath fully clothed.

Life with twins is chaos! And I know you have munchkin too!