Thursday, July 23, 2009

Goldfish and Ass.

Still a bit sleep deprived from the past couple of weeks, Husband and I have been going to bed a little earlier than normal. Last night we watched a movie, Husband fell asleep on the sofa and when the movie was over all I could think about was getting in my nice comfy bed, with my nice cool sheets.

I woke the husband, went to start the dishwasher, and headed to bed. I hopped in and pulled the covers up to my neck and got a whiff of the most awful smell ever - I jumped to the most obvious conclusion and asked the husband if he farted. He said no. I laid my head back down and pulled the covers back up and there it was again... the smell. I asked the husband if he had farted at all since he got in the bed, he said no. He was not amused with my antics, but I was not amused with this smell that kept violating my nostrils.

I smelled the pillow, nothing, I pulled the sheet up to my face, sniffed and thought I was going to vomit. The top part of my sheet smelled like ass and Goldfish. I have no idea how to explain this or why that part of my sheet smelled. I tried to get Husband to smell it, still not amused, he declined.

I got up to get clean sheets, and started thinking that it had to be something the Munchkin had done in there. She takes her rest time in there everyday, and sometimes she sneaks in contraband, that would explain the goldfish smell. I'm pretty sure she hasn't been eating crackers with her bare butt on my sheets, so as for the smell of ass, I'm at a loss.

It didn't smell like that when I woke up, so something had to have happened during the day and I'm not sure I even want to know. Some things are better left a mystery and since I'm dealing with a 3 1/2 year old that has figured out a hundred different ways to make rest time in my room "fun," this one is probably best left unknown.


Amber B. said...

The title of this post may be enough to turn me away from goldfish crackers for a very, very long time. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Dude. Seriously? I'm DYING over here. My kid eats Goldfish in my bed all. the. damn. time. A week or so ago, I got into bed, pulled the covers up and was So ready for sleep.

And then? The G&A smell hit me. I knew she was eating the Goldfish, but what the hell? Was she doing it bare assed? Did she take a dump in her diaper while sitting there and the stench soaked into my sheets?

It was gross. So, I totally get where you're coming from :)

Madie's Mom said...

Again you made me laugh out loud! I hope you were able to get a good nights rest.

Anonymous said...

I LOL'ed at this one - and it's been a long time since a blog has made me LOL :D