Monday, June 29, 2009

Yes! I Know I Have My Hands Full.

3 Kids. That's it, just 3. Plenty of people in this city have way more than that. Is it because I'm the only moron willing to go out in public with the twins and the Munchkin, that I'm the subject of constant ogling. Is it like a Vampire coming out in the daylight? My kind are so rarely seen that it's fascinating to see us live, in living color? I like to get out, and having 3 kids does not stop me, it may slow me down but I don't stop. I don't fear malls, grocery stores or restaurants. Restaurants are getting more difficult, but I really like to eat out. It always sounds good in theory, in my head, before we get there. Once I'm there, I'm cursing myself and regretting every second of it while my food sits uneaten, and I'm frantically cleaning cheerios up off the floor to keep from leaving a 50% tip.

People constantly stare and stop me, of course to look at the twins and marvel at their cuteness. (Give me a break I'm their Mom, I'm biased.) They ask questions about them. They want to touch them, they give appropriate amounts of attention to the Munchkin for being a big helper and a great big sister. Basically I'm a spectacle. I constantly hear:

You really have your hands full.
I don't see how you do it.
You are so brave to manage all 3 at the (insert location)
Have you ever seen that lady from John and Kate......

And the list goes on...

So I thought I would set the record straight for all those that are wondering what the secret is.... I truly am a moron. I should sit my ass at home way more than I do. It stresses me out in ways I can't even explain, but I don't heed my own warning. That makes me a glutton for punishment. So please, if you see me in this frazzled state, do not compare me to the Fame Whore with the reverse mullet, just open the door and let me and my wide ass stroller through the door so I can get my little monkeys home before you are a witness to a meltdown of epic proportion... X2.

Friday, June 26, 2009


This is a post I've been sitting on for a while, one that I never quite finished, one that I wasn't sure I wanted to post. After this week with all the celebrity death I thought I would tie this up and just go ahead and put it out there.

It's always said that it comes in 3's and unless you've been living under a rock this week you know that Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and of course Michael Jackson have all passed away. I think a lot of people would say that they feel they have lost a piece of their childhood, and in the case of Farrah, maybe even a little piece of their sexual development. As for MJ, they didn't call him Wacko Jacko for nothing, but you can't deny that he was THE 80's. The moonwalking, MTV ruling, King of Pop. Love him or hate him he was a major strand of our pop culture DNA. Not unlike Elvis or James Brown.

Bringing this around to the original thought for this post was how to explain death to a child. The Munchkin has been weirdly obsessed with death lately. From having to explain to her about Agent B, my sisters cat, and random bugs it's made us really question how to explain something when you aren't sure what you yourself believe.

For those believing in Heaven, in this way I envy you. It's easy. When you die, you go to Heaven. In our world right now when you die, you go in the ground, or if you're a cat, under a rock in the back yard. I can't tell you how many times I have thought about giving in to that belief just because it's a much nicer thought, it's wrapped up in a little bow and it sounds way more pleasant than dying and being covered with dirt.

As parents, Husband and I feel the need to really think through these heavy discussions and decide what to say, knowing that whatever we come up with will most likely have a part in what she believes when she grows up. I want to guide her, but I don't want to instill in her a belief system I'm not even sure I buy. Even if I did buy it, I would want to leave room for her to kow that there are other options, that not everyone believes the way we do. It's a fine line that we walk, because not instilling anything also has repercussions.

What she understands right now is that sometimes people (and animals and bugs) get sick, (sometimes Mommy steps on the bugs and sprays them with poison) and sometimes the Doctors can't help them so they die. Husband thought last night that he would explain to her about Michael Jackson. When I walked in from the grocery store I was greeted with a child telling me that her heart didn't stop, she didn't die, but one day she would die and look like this..... then threw herself on the floor in a chalk line pose, complete with eyes closed and tongue hanging out of her mouth.

I know the time is coming when we are going to have to answer more serious,in depth questions, but for now I guess we just let her guide the discussion and only give her what she asks for. In the meantime maybe Husband and I will get ourselves squared away and have some answers. Is it sad that I would rather have the sex talk? At least that one's easy, no sex until she's 35. Right?

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Do You Ever Just Wonder?

It's conversations like this one that make me wonder who's child I'm truly raising.

I heard the water running in the front bathroom, I went to investigate, seemed harmless enough. Munchkin washing her hands. I asked her what she was doing...

Munchkin: I'm washing my hands because they were sticky

Me: From what?

Munchkin: Well, they were sticky and dirty from putting them in my butt.


Munchkin: Because they were in my butt...

Me: Oh, I heard you, I just don't understand. Can you please explain to me why your hands were in your butt?

Munchkin: *shurgs* to see what it felt like...

Me: Of course. Silly me.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

(Not So) Wordless Wednesday - People Magazine is Crazy.

I just have to say that this recent cover missed the mark - People Magazine if you just happen to stumble upon this blog post, your recent cover sucks it! You chose Chace Crawford over Robert Pattinson? All he got was one page with a skinny little column, talk about a What the What?

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Thrift Envy.

I frequent blogs that talk about all of the whos-its and whats-its on how to double up on coupons, BOGO, combine them with extra care points, carry the one, add your first born child and Bam! Get a free car. I'm not that talented, and yes I consider it to be a talent to be able to put all of that into action. I just don't have it in me, not to mention it really does need to be a free car to entice me to haul all 3 kids around in this heat, to 5 different stores in order to take advantage of the deals that each store offers. I'm completely in awe if those that have mastered this talent.

I'm not by nature a bargain hunter and have to psych myself up just to rummage through the racks at a TJ Maxx or Consignment sale, but this past weekend was a different story completely, and I couldn't let the opportunity pass without bragging about the deals I walked away with.

My sister lives in Lexington, there is a Gap Distribution Center (reject center if you're a glass half empty kinda gal) about an hour from her. I had been looking forward to this trip for weeks and I was totally prepared to sift through hundreds of t-shirts, and jeans in order to find a good deal. I racked up for Munchkin, but not so much for the twins. Finding a good reject is hard enough without having to find 2 of the same thing, in the same size.

So, without further ado, my findings....

Boys Converse - $9.99 (I did a little shopping for my BFFs kids, couldn't help it)
Gap Socks - .25 a pair
Gap Jeans (Kids) - $6.99
Banana Republic T-shirt $4.99
These little dresses, $4.99 each

This one, $4.99, regular $34.50

$9.99 each, regular $54.99

A few more little odds and ends, some more dresses that were $4.99 and shorts for $6.99. All in all, I felt like a thrifty little shopper. Yay, me!

Friday, June 19, 2009

I like Big Butts and I Cannot Lie....

Last night while getting showered and ready for dinner out with the ladies, I threw the Munchkin in the shower with me. When we were getting out the Munchkin said to me:

Mommy! Your heiny is huge!

Um, Munchkin it's not nice to tell people that they have a big heiny (where did this word come from, anyway? We don't say that.) Did you ever think it's because I'm so much bigger than you are?

No, it's huge this way (throws hands out wide) and it's huge this way (holds hands from top to bottom.)

Ok, thanks for the newsflash! You forgot pasty, flabby and looks like cottage cheese.

Nothing like a good ego check just before going out to a nice dinner where you will then feel compelled to order a piece of lettuce, a glass of water, and purge in the bathroom on the way out.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Because You Love Me, Right?

I swear this voting has been open forever, but we have 25 days left and I've gained a little ground. Please take a second to vote for my blog!! It will be most appreciated!

For Local Blog
in Birmingham

The Twins are 15 Months Old!

We took Mary Kate and Ashely in for their 15 month check up yesterday and all is well. I expressed concerns about them being slightly behind developmentally and he seemed to think they are right on track. He continues to assure me that the gap for preemies closes significantly by age 2. I know this, and I also know that comparing children is pointless, especially when comparing premature twins to a first born that could practically recite the Gettysburg address at 12 months. He's happy, I shall be happy (while reading more and stuffing their faces with creme puffs to fatten them up)

Mary Kate seems to be a little more vocal. She says Dada, Mama, Bye bye, Hi, Pop, Touchdown and Whos-at? -- Ashley says Dada, Mama, Bye bye, and can sing the Naaaa, na na na na na, of Elton Johns Crocodile Rock.

They both stand and cruise and Ashley will take a few steps before deciding to crawl or walk on her knees.

Ashley eats pretty much anything you put in front of her and loves fruit. Mary Kate is still battling her texture issues, most of the time if you shove the strawberry or banana in her mouth she realizes that she likes it, but she won't initiate contact.

Mary Kate goes in for her surgery at the end of this month, we are nervous and hopeful. We would love nothing more than to move past this kidney issue and hear the words, "All Better" and/or "No More Surgery."

They are sweet, cuddly, and happy. They keep me on my toes, and I'm loving every second of it.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Flippy Floppys.

I hate flip flops. I wear them almost daily and I hate them. Unless your legs are just naturally thin, long and shapely, they do you an injustice. If they have no lift, your legs look like stumps. It's a sad truth and I'm sorry to offend 99.99% of all females that read my blog. What a way to get new readers right? Insult them and tell them their legs look like stumps. Regardless, I where them. They are easy, usually cheap and I somehow end up with a ton of them. I really only wear them because it was always so hard to find something I truly liked that would go with skirts, shorts, pants or dresses.

A friend of mine wore some really cute shoes back in thespring and I fell in love with them. Imagine a croc mating with a clog and you get "Dance" by Dr Scholls. Yes, Dr Scholls. She said they were the most comfortable shoe ever, and I've been going back and forth for about 3 months on whether I should buy them. I could only find them on the internet, and after 2 pregnancies, buying shoes without trying them on is a risk.

Come to find out the "Fall Dance" are lined with fur on the inside, so stores weren't carrying them moving into spring and summer. Friend called earlier this week to tell me that a shoe store near our house now carries the summer version (a la no fur) and today, I bought the shoes. They truly are comfy, will go with everything and are so ugly they're cute... Best of all, one less pair of shoes that make my legs look like stumps!

Sunday, June 14, 2009


Master of Manipulation. I just learned that U2 will be in Atlanta. I missed them on their last tour through there and was hoping I would be able to catch them if they ever came close enough... Damn you Larry Langford, if you would just build us that Dome maybe we could lure these big acts to our city.... I digress, don't get me started and please don't send hate comments, I'm totally kidding!

So, U2. In Atlanta. Muse is opening (bonus.) Tuesday October 6. Munchkins birthday. As bad as I want to see them, I just can't bring myself to be gone on her birthday. I've tried to justify it in my mind, it's a Tuesday, her party will be on the weekend, we won't be gone the whole day... and no matter how I slice it, it just feels wrong. The only thing worse would be using her birthday money to pay for our tickets.

While we were eating dinner tonight, I came up with another plan. I have successfully talked her into wanting to go to the concert for her birthday. How exciting!! Her first concert ever! She is stoked, only I haven't started selling her on the fact that the price of tickets will cost more than a mortgage payment, meaning no Twilight themed birthday party. Baby steps, baby steps. I don't want to overwhelm her.

I see that this most likely is not going to work, anyone ever been to Norman Oklahoma? Tampa is probably nice in October...

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Pledge of Allegiance the Munchkin Way.

I ledge a lee shance
to the fag
of the giant state ofmerica
and the public
for it stands
one nation and God
individuals liberty yustice for all

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Monday, June 08, 2009

Weekend Fun with Friends.

What a great weekend! Can I just say that I love going out on Friday night? It makes the weekend seem longer somehow. It gives you that day you need to recover from going out, and you still get Sunday as your bonus day. Not that any of this really matters a stay at home mom, but it's nice to have the extra time with the Husband and being able to go out with other couples.

Friday night we hit Brewfest, the first time we went I was preggers with the Munchkin so it wasn't near as much fun being the only sober one in a group of who knows how many hundreds of drunks sampling beer. This year, since I don't really drink beer, RandomMommy and I had a plan that we would get a good buzz before Brewfest and sober up while the guys got their drink on - we are nothing if not responsible drinkers and drivers. The only problem with that plan was that during our Brewfest pre-party, we might have had just a tad too much to drink. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the Vodka shots we did when we got there because A. was able to sneak in a flask and pineapple juice.. Pineapple juice that RandomMommy shot thinking it was spiked. Did I mention we had already had a tad bit too much?

After Brewfest we ended up at The Furnace, it was pretty much a typical night at a strip club, minus the me fighting with a stripper. We were all on our best behavior.

Ended up at Waffle House, Nasty. All I can say.

Saturday I nursed my slight hangover by taking the Munchkin to the pool and getting annoyed with an new overzealous Life guard.

Storked a friend that just had baby, and enjoyed a nice drive down some country roads. It's amazing what a good drive on a beautiful day can do to clear the cobwebs, windows down and music blaring. It's good for the soul and I highly recommend it.

Sunday, went to brunch to celebrate A's. birthday, Mexican food with Bloody Mary's and Margaritas.. Had a great chat with my BFF's and we met up again for some impromptu patio drinks last night at the "peas" house. The kids had a blast and we now know how to hunt for spiders with a flashlight. You really do learn something new everyday!

This is what summer is all about!

Friday, June 05, 2009

Always Hide the Evidence.

Munchkin has been doing some really funny things lately. Things that she shouldn't be doing, but it's so cute and funny that I have a hard time keeping a straight face while getting on to her.

Yesterday while I was folding laundry I was going back and forth from the closet in our bathroom, to the clothes I had folded on the bed. Munchkin was running around playing, "helping" and talking my ear off. I went to hang a few things in the closet, came back and she was gone. I put some more clothes away but could hear something coming from under my bed. I did a quick glance around and noticed a big bag of M&M's sitting on the night stand. Wondering what she would do when I walked off, I faked another trip to the closet and stood where I could still see her. After she felt confidant that I was safely out of sight, she emerged from under the bed, grabbed a handful from the big bag of candy, and started her retreat back to her cozy little underworld. About that time we locked eyes, and she smiled and said simply "What are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here? What are you doing there?"

"Well um, actually I'm just eating some M & M's"

"I can see that! Who told you it was ok to get the M & M's"

"Well, I think Ernie said I could"

Then? She crawled back under the bed.

All I could do was laugh at how matter of fact she was, and how if she would have only taken the bag under the bed, I would have been none the wiser.

One day she will learn and I will call myself lucky if it's just a bag of M & M's she's trying to hide.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

In or Out?

Never in my life have I understood what my Mom truly meant by this phrase while we were growing up... Until now.

Loosely translated I believe it means - "stay the hell outside you're driving me nuts with the in and out...." loosely translated, of course.

Today was just one of those days when my child could not, would not, and was in no way trying to entertain herself. The twins are a teething mess and I got called out of my Pilates class early to come and get them. We trekked back home, not wanting to tempt fate and run all of the errands I really needed to today, Munchkin was not happy. Playtime cut short and going home. Joy!

I remembered a water toy I had stashed in the closet, so I thought if I hooked that up and let her play in the water it would buy me some time to do laundry and clean up, but it was all wishful thinking. If she was outside, she wanted to be in. Once she was in and dried off, she wanted to go right back out, when I left the back yard, she screamed for me to play with her and then wanted to watch a movie..... dried off again and watching a movie, she wanted to go swing, and so on...

Not only do I fully understand my Mom locking the door and only unlocking it when it was time to come in, I respect it and will be putting it on my list of things to do this summer.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Tuesday, June 02, 2009


I love it! Perusing through Etsy and seeing all of the unique handmade items is a favorite nap time activity these days.

Recently I came across this lady that does really cool hand made jewelry. Her shop is Gypsy Wings. I picked up a really cool ring she made using a stone she found at LaPush beach on her trip to the Pacific North West. I also bought a couple of really beautiful prints that she took of the area, and gave them as gifts. She is in the process of moving right now and has her shop down until the move is complete, definitely need to check her out.

Of course I'm always on the look out for cute stuff for the girls and now having twins, putting an initial on their shirts really helps friends (and family) tell them apart. A friend of mine has her own shop with some super cute stuff for the kiddos, you can check her out at Butterflies and Rainbows. Great for buying local, handmade and affordable boutiquey type stuff, you should definitely check her out.

Are you an Etsy fan? Who else should I be shopping?

Monday, June 01, 2009

Me Love Summer!

It's really pretty funny how much I love the summer when you consider how much I hate the heat and humidity that comes along with summers in the south.

This year summer has a different feel, and I think it has something to do with Munchkin being in school now and actually having a "summer break." I find myself planning trips around a school schedule and we run into her teachers at the pool. It's just different now and oddly enough I'm loving it.

Only a couple of weeks into our summer and we've been to Kentucky, the lake, have spent several days at the pool, have a rockin' tan and hosted a little slip and slide party today. Who said life as a Stay at Home Mom was hard? You won't find me complaining (too much anyway!)

If you need me, I'll be beating the heat by the pool!