Thursday, April 30, 2009

Peter Pan's A Snore.

I wondered how long it would be before the Munchkin got tired of the same stories night after night. I always hear of parents reading a chapter out of a good long children's book each night before bed and I wondered how long it would be before we were able to achieve an attention span of that level. Last night the Munchkin brought me her Peter Pan book and said she would like for me to read it to her. I explained that it's a different kind of book and that we wouldn't be able to read it all in one night all the while I was incredibly excited about this new found literary interest. I jumped at the chance to lay down and read with her and she was excited and seemed to grasp the concept of no pictures, story only.

I began reading the tale of The Darlings and how they had to rearrange finances in order to keep Wendy once she arrived. "One pound seventeen here and two and six at the office; I can cut off my coffee at the office, say ten shillings, making two nine and six, with your eighteen and three makes three nine seven with five naught naught in my checkbook makes eight nine seven - who is that moving? Eight nine seven dot, and carry seven....."

I looked down to some sleepy eyes and kept on reading about mumps one pound and German measles half a Guinea... By the time I read about the children going to school with "Nana" her eyes were almost closed. I looked down and asked if she wanted me to keep reading and she shook her head no. I smiled and closed the book, she looked up at me and said:

"Mommy, I don't understand those words." I laughed.

"All I know is they went to school."

I looked back at her and said yes they did go to school, and Mommy didn't understand all of that either.

I thought it was interesting that she could actually understand that she couldn't understand what was being said, but was able to pick out what she could and seriously? Who understands that kind of math anyway? What I do know, is that story was like a sedative and she was out moments later. At this rate it's going to take us until she's 26 to get through the entire story of Peter Pan... Thank goodness for DVD's!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Starting a Blog?

I've been blogging for a while now and it seems like there are more hosts available now than when I started. I chose blogger because it's really the only one I had heard of, I was starting out and had no idea what I was doing. It was super easy to set up, and had ample amount of templates to choose from, in just a short time I had a blog and was up and running. In the past year I've looked at other options, thinking I might make a switch, but haven't found anything that seemed like a better fit for me.

In the future I would love to see blogger change up a few features, it would be nice to respond directly back to comments that are left, and maybe it's just me but sometimes adding links is not easy. I'm a picture freak, participating in Wordless Wednesday on a regular basis, it would be nice to have more options for laying out the pictures I want to post.

Overall I'm very happy with blogger and would recommend anyone just starting out to give it a shot. Check out other possible reviews and a test account of blogger at Web Hosting Column.

Wordless Wednesday - Our Life. (some of it anyway)


Wedding 1994

199519962000
20012002?

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

15 years and Going Strong.

I had these great intentions of posting some old pictures today, sort of a representation of the last 15 years I have spent married to the most wonderful man in the world, but 15 years and 3 kids later, my days don't always turn out like I planned. Maybe I can manage an "Anniversary Edition" of Wordless Wednesday tomorrow, stay tuned!

For now I will say Happy Anniversary to my sweet Husband.... I can't believe it's been 15 years of wedded bliss. We started young, and have beat the odds. I'm looking forward to seeing what the future holds for us and our little family!

Love you Hubby! Happy Anniversary!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Things That Make You Go, Why?

Why do the babies wait until we are headed up the stairs for nite-nite to poop in their just changed diaper?

Why must the Munchkin insist that I unwrap her string cheese, get her milk (insert 6,000 other requests) when I'm knee deep in poopy diapers?

Why must the Munchkin go poop in the potty, in another part of the house and need help wiping while both babies are in the bathtub?

Why must the twins always crawl in opposite directions?

Why does the Munchkin not want milk in her cereal right after I pour said milk into said cereal?

Why is it that when you have somewhere to be early in the morning, all the kids would sleep until noon if you didn't wake them, and are bright eyed at 6:30am on days you have absolutely nothing planned?

Why do you always run into people you know when you look like complete ass.

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no smoking sign on your cigarette break,
Ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife

Why did I just write a post about wondering why, when Alanis Morriestte did it so much better?

Saturday, April 25, 2009

My Love to Hate Relationship.

On the heels of Earthday I came across some information about Walmart that made me re-think them... just a little. WalMart usually has the cheapest prices around, and that's good in an economy like this. I personally don't shop there very often for several reasons, and I would like to say that it's mostly due to their lack of morals when it comes to their business practices or because they are forcing Mom and Pops out of business everywhere, but quite honestly it's because the one near me is so shiteous that stepping one foot in that store makes me want to bathe in a vat of Purell.

However, I came across this info courtesy of Skimbaco Lifestyle.

Are you ready for this? WalMart is a little green. Crazy. Right?

Did you know that Walmart..

… has hybrid delivery trucks?
… was the company who required washing detergent manufacturers to produce concentrated washing detergent? And now sells only concentrated liquid laundry detergent?
… collects rain water in some of their stores?
… has several stores that are run by wind or solar power and their goal is to use 100 percent renewable energy?

Just selling concentrated washing detergent is a large commitment & has a huge impact on our environment. In three years, Walmart expects to sell more than 800 million bottles of concentrated detergent. As a result, the anticipated savings are 400 million gallons of water, 95 million pounds of plastic resin and 125 million pounds of cardboard. And the good news is that when Walmart decided to do this - all of the other retailers followed, and concentrated detergent is now found in all stores, and the impact multiplied.

Now, this new found information does not make me want to fore go my Purell bath and run right out to my nearest WalMart for a bottle of detergent, but it will ease my conscience just a little knowing that even though I'm supporting death to Mom and Pops everywhere with my purchase, I am helping save the earth.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Not Birthday, Earth Day...

We've been trying to teach the Munchkin a little bit about recycling and conserving water, the simple things we try to do around here to help lessen our carbon footprint. It's not a lot, but we do make a small effort.

Yesterday being Earth day I thought I would talk to the Munchkin about it and see if it was even on her radar. Our conversation went like this.

Hey Munchkin, do you know what today is?

No.

It's Earth day.

Birthday?

No, EARTH day.

It's my Birthday?

No baby, EARTH day (have we never mentioned Earth to this child?) It's the day that we should do something good for our planet.

A planet?

Yes, Earth is a planet, just like Mars, Venus, Saturn, Jupiter..... Earth is a planet, it's where we live. We live on a planet called Earth.

Well, Tooty lives in Birmingham.

Happy Earth Day!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I Suck at Pink Eye.

Apparently I'm kind of an unobservant dumbass. In my hast to de-clutter around the house I was listing some more things on Craigslist this week. Taking pictures and researching the items to find out what they are selling for in other posts.... Husband came home and was playing around with the camera, taking some pictures of the girls. I said something about taking some pictures of the bike to sell, and how cute the girls were sitting in the wagon while we were outside earlier, he looked at me like I had lost my mind and said,

You took pictures?

Yes.

With this camera?

Yes.

With Pink Eye?

Yea.... Oh.

Oops.

Wordless Wednesday - A Peaceful Afternoon.




Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Who is the Opposite of the Tooth Fairy?

Mary Kate and Ashley are 13 months old and they don't have a single tooth between them. They drool so much I could change their name to Hooch, and when they start gnawing on everything in sight, I swear I could be running a kennel rather than raising twins. I think they are teething, I go on a tooth finding mission only to come up with smooth gums. I've been doing this search mission off and on for about 10 months now and still no teeth. I've voiced my concerns and asked about x-raying them and our Pediatrician assured me that they do in fact have teeth and that all babies are different. (not these babies, because if they were, one would have at least one tooth by now) He told me not to compare them to the Munchkin who was "spitting teeth" as Ms T would say, by the time she was 3 months.

So I've been wondering, if the Tooth Fairy will pay to take your teeth, who can I pay to get some teeth?

Monday, April 20, 2009

My Day with the Doc (in the box)

I woke up this morning and my left eye was completely sealed shut. Gross, yes, but considering I have been fighting some nasty ass crud since last Friday, it didn't surprise me. Until I went to wash my hands and saw in the mirror that my eye was red, really red, as in Pink Eye red! So not cool. Husband and I debated on whether or not I could even give myself pink eye, so I Googled it only to find that I could indeed be the giver and the receiver of this most incredibly contagious infection.

I loathe going to the Dr. The parking decks the waiting, all of it, I hate. So I decided to run up to the Doc in the Box right here by the house. I walked in and to my surprise only one person was ahead of me and was called back just as I sat down to fill out the endless paperwork.

Man Nurse called me back to weigh me (WTF? I was not prepared to be weighed I was there for my eye) temp check and blood pressure, fine. Then he looks me square in the face and asks, which eye? Um.... the red one? He says "Oh yeah, I see it," then he proceeded to take me back to do an eye exam. I then had to inform him that I'm as blind as a beetle and can't read more than about 5 or 6 rows down the chart with both eyes and my left is worse on it's own, and it has nothing to do with it's color du jour'. He looked at me like I looked at him when he asked "which eye?"

I was sitting in my room, playing on my phone waiting on the Dr. When she, Zulu Witch Craft Dr. finally came in and said hello and introduced herself. I realized at that moment we were in for some serious communication problems. Her accent was so thick I could understand about every 12th word she said. Something about what was bothering me, I gave her the run down leading up to this morning and my eye. She said something, maybe even asked a question. I smiled and nodded. She got out the stethoscope, listened to my lungs, chest and then felt my stomach? No idea. Asked something that sounded like cough, I said I had one, she said something about drops and my eye was red... No shit Zulu. Then, and I caught this. "How about we give you some drops, does that sound good? Maybe antibiotics, how does that sound?" I DON'T KNOW!!!! How does that sound, Doc? She talked at me for a few more minutes and I thought she said she was getting my prescription, so I waited. A few minutes later she sent the comedian in to draw some blood.... As he was looking for a vain he said, repeatedly. "Don't worry I won't feel a thing..." You're real funny wise ass, and I asked "why are you taking blood." The Doctor wants to run some blood work, then we will get you on your way. Great. I liked it better when she was gone to get my scripts.

She came back and my blood work was negative. Negative for what? Who knows. She handed me a prescription with 3 different meds to fill, I didn't ask because I knew I wouldn't understand. Still not really knowing if I actually had pink eye, asked as she was walking out, if I was contagious, she said either, "yes, contagious for three days, or eye will fall out in three days," I assume the former, but can't be sure. She said something else that I thought was to follow her. I grabbed my purse and tagged along behind. She stopped at the desk and told me to go back to my room. Uh... Ok, maybe she said stay there.... She came in a couple of minutes later obviously wise to the fact that I couldn't understand a word she said, and pointed for me to sign something. It was a slip stating I needed to be off of work until Wednesday and signing it was making me accountable for giving it to my employer. That's great and all, but my employers can't read yet, and I'm pretty sure they are going to be pissed if I don't change their diapers until Wednesday. I just smiled and left.

When I got to the pharmacy I had a script for eye drops, nasal spray and cough syrup. Validation came when the Pharmacist said not to worry, I should try talking to her on the phone.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Movie Theaters: Hazardous to your Mental Health.

I was just catching up on my blog roll when I ran across an entry over at It's a Wonderful Lie. She talks about feeling sorry for people eating out alone, something I have thought all my life until I had kids. I always thought they were eating out because they had no one to eat with, I never really grasped the thought that they were eating out alone because they had 3 kids at home. 


Along the same lines as eating out alone, is seeing a movie alone. This is something I have recently done all by myself and I have to tell you, it wasn't as relaxing as I was hoping it would be. 

It was a few months ago, Twilight (of course) was about half way through its run in the theater. I was out running errands, and Christmas shopping, my Mom had the girls and I thought, what the hell. I got to the theater, got my ticket, popcorn and coke and made my way back to the theater that just so happened to be in the absolute back, back, back of the building, the last theater before going out the emergency exit doors. I walked into the theater, it was completely empty. I was giddy with anticipation thinking I was going to have this whole theater to myself, this whole big screen with Edward and Wow!! I was happy. I picked a seat half way up, right in the middle and settled in. The previews had already started when a man came in, by himself. He sat somewhere behind me. My imagination started running wild. Only the pre-pubescent ticket window guy could possibly know it was just me and the "serial rapist" that had bought tickets to this showing, and I'm sure he couldn't possibly care, and would in no way remember what we looked like when the police came to inquire about me as a missing person... Who was I kidding, no one even knew I was there. I got my phone out and texted Random Mommy and Momma Peas to let them know where I was. I scouted the exits, dialed 911 on my phone and kept my finger on the send button. The movie had started, and all I could think about was this guy sitting somewhere behind me, I didn't know how close he was and I couldn't really hear any of his movements because the movie was so loud. Afraid that he would sneak up on me and put a solvent soaked rag in my face and drag me away, I leaned forward trying to use my peripheral vision to keep an eye out for any movements, but there weren't any. Dude was stealthy (or he wasn't really planning to attack me.) People that have heard this story have asked me why I didn't just leave and I actually thought they were insane, leave? Edward? Were they serious?  Finally 2 girls came in and I was able to relax. I think they had been in a different movie and only came in for a few minutes. After they left, creepy serial rapist dude left to go do something, probably soak his rag or call his buddies that were in on the kidnapping, or whatever. When he came back he sat below me near the exit. I was more relaxed, although I thought maybe he was trying a different tactic, like blocking me from leaving, but at least I was able to enjoy the rest of the movie, while keeping an eye on him. 

Obviously I made it out alive, and while I'm completely dedicated to my addiction, it will probably be a long time before I venture out to do that again on my own. Maybe eating out would have been a less stressful option.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Observation.

Have you ever noticed in movies or shows on TV, when they are eating Chinese food out of the little cartons, those cartons are completely clean? I don't know about you, but every time we get Chinese take out, the contents are always dripping out of the bottom, the only clean containers are the ones with rice in them. 


Ah... Hollywood magic.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Mild Annoyances.

It's like the straw breaking the camels back. I can no longer contain the urge to rant about these few things I have noticed lately that just irritate me.

The weather... What the hell? We had these great spring days, sunny and warm. We were out and about playing and enjoying the nice spring weather. These last several days it has been either storming or freezing. We went to the zoo earlier this week and it was ridiculously cold and windy. I never know how to dress myself or the kids and we all have runny noses... again.

People waiting on my spot while I'm trying to load groceries..... Pay attention people. I have 3 kids, plus groceries to put into my car, waiting on me is not prudent. Not to mention the fact that I'm a rule follower, I always put my cart back in the designated area, if there isn't one, I will walk it back up to the store. Really? You choose me of all people to wait on?

While we are on the topic of groceries. When I'm in line, and paying for my stuff, do not get all up on my grill. It's my space until I pay, I would appreciate being able to step backwards without your Sunday ham ramming me in the ass.


Craigslisters who act like they are all super interested in my stuff, only to no-show or not respond after their initial email telling me they want the item... This usually happens after I have told 3 other people that it's taken. You people annoy me. I will come up with a name for you. 

The city that I live in has a recycling program. I consider myself fortunate as many places around here don't offer this service to residents. My beef with our program is that they give us 1 tiny little blue recycling bin. In our efforts to lessen our carbon footprint, we could easily fill up four of these each week, we recycle everything we can. I have to buy my own plastic storage bins for all of the extra, or rely on diaper boxes to keep from having to just trash the stuff that won't fit in our one designated bin... Come on city, work with us here. I'm not the only one with this problem. Drive through our neighborhood on recycling day and you will see makeshift bins on at least half of the yards. It gets expensive having to replace these when the city workers completely destroy them.

Politics. I'm so eff'ing tired of listening to everyone bitch and moan. Not just conservatives, everyone! I honestly don't even want to turn the television on anymore. The economy sucks, people hate Obama, people think Bush is to blame, companies are going bankrupt, companies need more bailout money, people are having parties. Pay your taxes and get over it already. It's not taxation without representation that you are protesting, it's an excuse to have an I hate Obama rally. We get it, people. We get it. I also think that everyone should read this article. It's spot on. (Thanks to Mommapeas for that link.)

Whew! It always feels good to purge.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Monday, April 13, 2009

Overheard at Target....

While shopping at Target, a lady on the phone wandered down the baby aisle while I was perusing the less than impressive selection of organic options. She was on the phone with someone (I assumed her husband) when I heard her say....

Lady: I don't know what to do, I told him it cost $30 and it's just too expensive. He doesn't need anymore toys anyway.

Person on the phone says something... (probably along the lines of nut up woman, you are the parent....but I'm just guessing)

Lady responds: I told him we can't afford it, but he won't let me put it back.

Expecting to see a 400lb Sumo Wrestler holding a knife to her throat, I had to turn around to see who this very demanding person was. I turned slightly to peek and I was greeted with the cutest little grin you have ever seen, happy about the toy he was holding and how it wasn't going back on the shelf. He was 2ish, probably a little older, and I'm assuming instead of a knife to his moms throat it was the threat of one hellish tantrum, in public no less.

Now I get being terrified of the tantrum that a toddler or preschooler can throw down on you in a store, I have witnessed a few from my own child that would make the head spinning Linda Blair look like the Easter Bunny, but to say that "He won't let you," Are you kidding me? He won't let you not buy a toy for him that you say you can't afford? Can we say tail wagging the dog? I get giving in to demanding kids, there are just times when you don't have it in you to fight the fight but I'll be damned if I buy something I can't afford because a toddler threatens to throw a tantrum if I don't. Use that time as a learning experience for your child, he's old enough for you to teach, give options and explain things to. To simply call someone and tell them about how this little terrorist won't let you, is giving up, and setting you up for bigger problems down the road. I really don't like to judge peoples parenting styles..... oh, who am I kidding? I call it like I see it, and if you are talking loud enough for everyone in the store to hear your "dilemma," then you are opening yourself up for people like me to put you on a blog.... So there you have it, your daily does of judgementalness from I'm a Mom!..? No purchase required!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Cancer Sticks Never Looked So Good.....

I've never been one for smoking. Never done it and have never been attracted to anyone that did...... until I saw these pictures, Da-yum! Who said smoking wasn't sexy?


Gotta Light? Anything for you Mr Hottie McHotterson

Check out GQ for more drool worthy photos of the hottest Vampire Evah'

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Together, They Are One.

No babies were harmed in the writing of this post, before you go all Dr.Phil on my ass, please note that these are merely observations on the behavior patterns of these girls. Their emotional well being has not been altered as a result of these findings. Husband and I are hyper-aware of making sure that these babies are treated equally and not forcing one into a role or behavior pattern based on our own assumptions about their developing personalities.

Now, with that out of the way. It is so interesting to me to watch Mary Kate and Ashley evolve. While they are identical physically, their personalities are completely different, and they are starting to work together to get what they need as a whole. For instance, eating. Mary Kate has texture issues. If something is slimy or squishy, like peaches, she won't put it in her mouth, she will pick it up, and drop it, opting for a vegetable or something dry. Ashley loves her fruit, usually passing on all other foods just to eat her fruit. She's a good eater as long as I don't put fruit on her plate first. Today while they were eating their lunch I was cleaning the kitchen and watching them at work. Ashley would lean over and take the strawberries from Mary Kate who had pushed them off to the side. When Mary Kate figured this out, she reached over and took Ashley's peas. Like the yen to her yang... together they will clean their plates. When I put them on the floor to finish eating, clean up after themselves um..... play... while I finish cleaning the kitchen, I know that all of the food on the floor will disappear. Mary Kate will give Ashley the fruit that she finds, and vice versa with the veggies.

When they play and get into things, they use Ashely for the standing and reaching while Mary Kate has the temperament to handle tight spaces and work through getting stuck without getting frustrated.

It's really crazy the team that they make, it's also quite scary to think about what they have in store for me, if their minds are working like this at such a young age, can you imagine when they hit their teenage years, poor me and god bless the poor boys that cross their paths.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Wickedly Awesome!


If this show comes anywhere near you - Go see it! It is hands down the best Broadway Series show I have ever seen. I went with some fantabulous woman and we had a great night out. We even had the cheap seats and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Make sure to pee before it starts because the first act is about an hour and half.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

John Mayer, I Love You But.....

My Dearest John,

You know I love you more than any other musician on this earth, hell I almost love you more than my own kids, and Husband, so you have to know how excited I was when I came across this site, Wear your music. A site advertising how cool it would be for me to have a bracelet made of the actual strings from your guitar, strings that have been played on by you. A bracelet that every time I wore it, I would know that your hands have touched those strings, meaning your hands were in essence touching my wrists. Every. Time. I. Had. It. On. Which by the way, would be always. A little sidebar about the proceeds? They go to charity. How excellent, you're hot, talented and have an open heart.

I logged on, ready to purchase, (new budget be damned) I was going to have one of your bracelets if it took every cent I've made from the measly ads on this blog.... all $3.48 of it. Seriously, I have a little fun money stashed in my paypal, Hubby would be none the wiser. My friends would envy my new bling and I would have just a little piece of you to carry around everyday. Avril Lavigne popped up on the home page.. Meh! Where is my John? I finally found you and to my shock and dismay, your bracelets are selling for $200 each.... and you aren't included, although I would get a handy little case and certificate of authenticity.

Now, I realize that this money is for charity, but $200? Who can pay that for a guitar string bracelet? Maybe some of your younger fans who's daddy's have deep pockets, but for moi? A Stay at Home Mom to 3 kids, trying to spend less than $100 a week on groceries? Ain't gonna happen. My thoughts, in case you are wondering, would be to lower the price, you'll sell more, and in turn make more money for your charity. The other option would be to give me a discount, say $25 for every ticket stub I could come up with from having seen you every time you have landed here in the 'Ham. I've been following you since before you discussed with my Husband (back in his radio days) a shit you had just taken in their bathroom. Doesn't that count for something?

I love you John and I look forward to hearing from you soon!

XOXO,
I'm A Mom!...?

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Put Away Your Valuables, I'm Addicted To Craigslist.

Now that the twins are mobile and too big for many of the pieces of baby equipment we have, I'm having a huge liquidation and getting it the hell out of my house. When we bought this house it had plenty of space for us and the Munchkin, and room for us to grow and have our 2.8 kids, only that extra 1.8 that we were allowing for came in a full 2.0. Which automatically put us in a space crunch. The babies alone aren't really the problem (I guess that's a good thing or they would be liquidated too) it's the massive amount of gear that you have to have for 2 babies (and a preschooler.) 2 of everything. Highchairs, bouncies, jumpers, exersaucers, you name it, there's 2 of them and they have been taking up space in our living area and kitchen for over a year, but no more I say! It's got to go!

I'm not a fan of ebay, I like to buy, but I hate to sale, mainly because of the shipping process and how I'm not really smart enough to allow enough for shipping and somehow always get screwed, plus having 3 kids makes it really difficult to go to the post office just to mail something. Get out the stroller, unload the babies maneuver through too small of spaces to get to the counter to be treated rudely by a lady that hates her job and therefore hates me.....So what's an ebay hater supposed to do with a massive amount of crap that needs to go? Craigslist Baby!! Nothing in this house is safe at the moment. I'm selling everything. Baby gear is a hot item and people will pay good money for this stuff. It's about what I could make if I consigned it, only I'm not paying a fee to do it. I missed the consignment season this Spring because the girls were just on the cusp of being done with everything, and I have no desire to have it sit here until the fall, everything must go!

What about another baby you ask? Well, if.....and it's a big IF.... we decide on another I think it will be time to upgrade everything anyway, if it were to be a boy, I would want boyish stuff. Let's face it, coming into this world with 3 older sisters would be hard enough without having to sit in a pink Bumbo, don't ya think?

So I'm out, gotta meet a lady about a Jumperoo!

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Rules of the Road, According to Me.

Last week I left my Moms house headed to pick the Munchkin up from school. It's a trip that should normally take about 20 minutes but took 40 because of stupid people that can't drive. I noticed the electronic traffic board thingy said that there was an accident just before the junction and the right 2 lanes were closed. I noticed this because Munchkin was not there talking my head off from the back seat, and the babies were sleeping. It was just me and Katy Perry singing about kissing a girl and liking it... Usually those boards don't give any valuable information and they rarely work at all, but for some reason I took heed and got in the far left lane, always be prepared, right? Traffic all of the sudden started going wonky about a mile past the warning board, cars were slamming on their brakes and pulling onto the shoulder to avoid hitting other cars, all because they failed to prepare for those lanes to be closed. Those people somehow decided that they should make their stupidity my problem by trying to cut me off or nearly rear ending me because they weren't paying attention. That is when my rules of the road came back to me... I used to have a whole system on who I was nice to while driving. I must also admit that I have been known to exhibit signs of road rage at times, this has been controlled now because of the children, but here are a few of the old rules that I remember: Modified to fit present likes and dislikes.

1. Because I leave adequate space between me and the car in front of me does not mean you have the right to take that space, it's not for you, it's my buffer zone, a place to skid without hitting that person in front of me, when a dumbass like yourself hits me from behind.

2. If your car/truck is bigger than me, I will respect you. I will let you over without fail.

3. If you do not use your signal to let me know that you want over, forget about it. Consider that a refresher coarse on driving etiquette.

4. If you have anything on your vehicle identifying you as part of an enemy clan such as, an Alabama/Shula sticker, Mississippi State tag, Fan of Palin 2012 sticker, or any other stupid bumper sticker, you aren't getting over. Subsequently, if I deem you a friendly, like an Auburn fan, an Obama supporter or even a Switzerland like Georgia or Ron Paul, I will let you over. If you are a Tennessee fan I will let you over because it will piss off the Alabama fan that I just shut out.

5. If you are old, you're in. I figure you probably couldn't see the sign to begin with, so what the hell.

6. If you are driving a car that I envy, I will let you in just to look like I'm cool enough to be associated with you, if you are driving a car that I don't like, sorry. Unless you are a friendly. (See example 4 for more information on friendlies)

7. State tags: I will only let you in if you are a from a state that I like, ie: Florida, "The Sunshine State" I love going there, what's not to love about the Sunshine State? This is usually associated with places that I have visited and liked. I will refrain from listing states I don't like just to avoid negative feedback.

8. If I let you in front of me and you don't give me a little love, (a quick wave of thanks will suffice I'm not asking for a grand gesture,) I will over exaggerate a wave to you, hoping you see me in your rear view calling you a stupid jackass. If the girls are not in the car, I will look for the next opportunity to pass you and cut you off while waving. (and calling you a stupid jackass)

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

When Should I Start to Worry?

I was up in the playroom playing dollhouse with Munchkin.. in our efforts to make the "play family" as close to our "real family" as possible, I had to buy an extra Mommy to get the "Munchkin," because the big set we bought only came with Mommy, Daddy and twins. We thought that might do irreversible damage to her psyche to leave her out of the play family, so now we have 2 Mommies in our play family and we pretend that this other "mommy" is actually the babysitter. We had a whole day at the zoo, while daddy was at work, when he came home we had dinner and then she put everyone to bed... Mommy, Daddy and Babysitter in the bed..... together. Daddy in the middle and Mommy and babysitter on either side. (she even used our actual sitters name, not Oma! That would have really freaked my freak.) This is totally weird, right?

Then she had this whole storyline ready for "play Munchkin" to get up in the middle of the night and come in their room. Of course all I could think was "Honey, if Mommy and Daddy had the babysitter in the bed with us, our door would certainly be locked..." But I digress... First the Babysitter took her back to her room, she came out again, then Daddy took her back, she came out a third time and Mommy took her back and locked her in her room. Why am I the one who locks the door and what does she think happens after the babysitter puts her to bed and we get home?

I must admit I was at a loss for words... I wanted to explain that the babysitter goes home to sleep, but really? Does it matter? Then I think it probably does matter because when this child goes to school with her active imagination and tells the teachers that we were all three in bed together I'm going to have more to worry about than her obsession with Twilight.

Here's a snapshot of our play family... What I really want to know is if Daddy gets a babysitter, where is my pool boy?