Thursday, March 26, 2009

Hello? Poison Control....

Um Yeah... My daughter decided to get an early jump on her breakfast this morning by eating the pee filled gel out of her busted diaper..... How big of a problem is this?

  • What brand of Diaper?
  • How old is the Child?
  • How much did she consume?
  • How long ago?
  • Has she had anything to eat or drink since?
  • How has she been acting?

  • Huggies (Damn you, I'm switching back to Pampers)
  • 12 months
  • Um.... Good question seeing as how she was chowing down when I went to get her up this morning.. maybe a handful? How good could it possibly taste?
  • About 2 hours, we were going to the Dr. first thing anyway so I figured I would check with them, they said to call you.
  • Yes, she took a full bottle... Must not have been too filling (ha!)
  • She's been acting like a kid who won the lottery, happy as a clam with her new found "toy/breakfast"...
Well Ma'am, the most serious concern is that the filling of the diaper is more of a choking hazard than anything...

(ok.. writing that down for future reference)

If she is eating and drinking fine, then she should be ok, we just don't want anything stuck in her throat that could swell when she has fluids

(ok, now you are freaking me out)

And the diaper contents... was it....?

Oh, Pee, only pee thank god, it was only pee - can you imagine how bad that would have been?

Well, luckily urine is pretty sterile - you're very fortunate, it could have been a whole lot worse! {{she laughs }}

Me? Not ready to laugh...

Is that all today Ma'am...?

I certainly think that was enough for one day, don't you?

Yes Ma'am, now I just need to get some information from you..... (meaning I need to keep track of your lousy parenting skills and keep a record of how many times your children consume something they shouldn't so that I will have a nice, neat little record to hand over to DHR...when they call.)

Jane Doe....(maybe I should have said Octo-Mom)
Child's Name:
Mary Kate Doe (maybe I should have said Olsen)
Zip Code:
90210 (we certainly don't live here locally, really....)

You're making a file on me aren't you?

Just have to record some information on each call, Ma'am (make note that mom is overly suspicious, may be hiding something....) Ok, I think that's everything, feel free to give us a call if you have any other questions....

Right!! As if.... and let you record a little more "information" on me?
Next time? I will google it.


Unknown said...

First of all, glad she is going to be okay.

With that being said, ROFLMAO!!!!! So glad I didn't have to make that call, I'm almost positive that I wouldn't have made it through the conversation without losing it. PEE? Why would a child eat a diaper filled with PEE???!!!??? KIDS!!

Michelle said...

We have a standing file at poison control. We have a mini taster. She ate ink that came from china, soap, toothpaste, A&D, found a vitamin on the floor at someones house and ate that too. I've called poison control each time. They've been extremely helpful in easing my panic attacks. I was told "once a taster, always a taster" So much for feeling comforted huh. LOL! I'm hoping she grows out of it. She's two now. I'm glad your little one didn't choke and that it was only pee :)

Michelle said...

I am with Trista!

Glad she is ok but very funny to read.

Kids are awesome.

Karen said...

Oh, I feel your pain. It got to the point I would call from a different number everytime I had to call. The things that children eat is just not right.

Thanks for the laugh. Hopefully tomorrow will start with less excitement.