Monday, March 30, 2009

My Contribution to a Warm Winter..

I know it's not right to have hate in your heart, but when it comes to squirrels, I just do. They have been a thorn in my side since we moved into this house about 3 years ago. It's always something. Chewing through phone/cable lines, climbing up the window screens, digging up my plants (of which I no longer even try to plant) but this latest act of vandalism takes the cake. Remember about a month ago we had some snow.. built that cute little snowman and posted this picture?

Do you see the cute little hat and mittens he is wearing? They went missing shortly after this photo was taken.

My sister ( who lives in Kentucky) pointed out that you should never use good hats, mittens, and scarves to dress a snowman, (as if this is my fault some how..) to that I said that we live in Alabama, all of our hats, mittens and scarves are good ones because it only gets cold enough to wear them 3 times in a winter. The point is, the snow melted, the snowman went away and could not have possibly taken the items with him to his liquefied state.

I searched for days, thought that Husband may have picked them up, or maybe my Mom while she was here, no one saw them until this weekend when what to our wondering eyes should appear? A mitten, completely chewed and shredded, had fallen out of a tree. The following day, the other mitten and the hat. Mystery solved. The nasty little tree rats stole my child's (did I mention new?) NEW hat and mittens, and made a cozy little nest to ride out the last few weeks of winter. How could I have possibly missed a furry little rat bastard stealing a hat from my back yard... That's something you think you would notice. I wonder if he had help, like a little squirrel gang or if he made several trips acting on his own... How did I not see this? I wonder if the MommaDrool Mafia would consider branching out, I'm thinking about putting a hit out on this squirrel, if only I could get a more accurate description.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Hello? Poison Control....

Um Yeah... My daughter decided to get an early jump on her breakfast this morning by eating the pee filled gel out of her busted diaper..... How big of a problem is this?

  • What brand of Diaper?
  • How old is the Child?
  • How much did she consume?
  • How long ago?
  • Has she had anything to eat or drink since?
  • How has she been acting?

  • Huggies (Damn you, I'm switching back to Pampers)
  • 12 months
  • Um.... Good question seeing as how she was chowing down when I went to get her up this morning.. maybe a handful? How good could it possibly taste?
  • About 2 hours, we were going to the Dr. first thing anyway so I figured I would check with them, they said to call you.
  • Yes, she took a full bottle... Must not have been too filling (ha!)
  • She's been acting like a kid who won the lottery, happy as a clam with her new found "toy/breakfast"...
Well Ma'am, the most serious concern is that the filling of the diaper is more of a choking hazard than anything...

(ok.. writing that down for future reference)

If she is eating and drinking fine, then she should be ok, we just don't want anything stuck in her throat that could swell when she has fluids

(ok, now you are freaking me out)

And the diaper contents... was it....?

Oh, Pee, only pee thank god, it was only pee - can you imagine how bad that would have been?

Well, luckily urine is pretty sterile - you're very fortunate, it could have been a whole lot worse! {{she laughs }}

Me? Not ready to laugh...

Is that all today Ma'am...?

I certainly think that was enough for one day, don't you?

Yes Ma'am, now I just need to get some information from you..... (meaning I need to keep track of your lousy parenting skills and keep a record of how many times your children consume something they shouldn't so that I will have a nice, neat little record to hand over to DHR...when they call.)

Jane Doe....(maybe I should have said Octo-Mom)
Child's Name:
Mary Kate Doe (maybe I should have said Olsen)
Zip Code:
90210 (we certainly don't live here locally, really....)

You're making a file on me aren't you?

Just have to record some information on each call, Ma'am (make note that mom is overly suspicious, may be hiding something....) Ok, I think that's everything, feel free to give us a call if you have any other questions....

Right!! As if.... and let you record a little more "information" on me?
Next time? I will google it.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Sippy Cup Saga, Parts 2 and 3.

You really would think that drinking out of a cup, especially a sippy should be easier to learn. I remember going through this with the Munchkin when she was making the transition from bottle to cup, but I don't remember it being so incredibly frustrating and time consuming. Maybe now it's because everything done in two's seems to be magnified... won't potty training be super fun? Yay, I can't wait!! ** please read that with excessive amounts of sarcasm **

Mary Kate seems to be taking to it a little better than Ashley who would rather look at it, look at me and then hurl it towards me as if to say, "Oh Hell No, Woman! I'm not letting you off the hook that easy... just because my twin can't seem to follow the "drive mommy crazy in subtle ways" plan does not mean I give up so easily." She has also been practicing this plan by shooting peas out of her mouth at me... I've really never seen anything like it.

I am now going to run the gamut of 800 types of sippy cups to see if there is one that her Majesty would prefer. Who knows, maybe she will still be taking a bottle when she turns 15, just to spite me, because something tells me this little booger will not cave to peer pressure.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

What A Week!

Spring break has officially wrapped and we are getting ready to start our routines all over again. Last week was fantastic, it really was a great way to kick off springtime. We took full advantage of the beautiful weather and spent a lot of time outdoors and with our friends.

Unless you have been living under a rock you all know that the best-worst movie ever was released on DVD at midnight on Friday - I went out with a few friends for drinks and appetizers then headed over to the local BAM to await the release. Since Random Mommy was unable to join us I decided to surprise her by leaving her little Edward in the mailbox so she could get to the deleted scenes as soon as humanly possible. I got home around 12:30am and planned to snuggle up on the sofa in the quiet house and watch the deleted scenes and bask in the glory of the finger sucking scene, only Husband was still up and wanted to know if he could watch the movie with me... We haven't allowed the Husbands access to our Twilight obsession, for many reasons so I wasn't sure how I felt about watching this with him in the room, but I was desperate and told him to read his book, he looked up periodically and even managed to ask a few intelligent, non-judgy questions. Finally he went to bed and I was able to relax and enjoy a few of my favorite scenes.

Tonight while I was doing a couple of things upstairs I told the Munchkin I would be down to give her a bath in a few minutes, about 15 minutes later I went down the stairs to see that she had put my movie in the DVD player and was sitting in the floor watching Twilight, if there was ever a doubt about her being my child it should now be completly cleared up, she is now consumed with "Edgard" and Bella. She even told me that the wolf Jacob couldn't have Bella because she belongs with the nice vampire, "Edgard."

I *heart* my little Munchkin.

On an unrelated note, this morning when I came downstairs Ashley, said "Ma-Ma" when she saw me come around the corner. Ahh... What a way to start the day!!!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Me + Park + Spring Break = Oh Hell No!!

Not again I say! Yesterday we weren't able to make the Mommy group park playdate because of the twins nap - I felt really bad because Munchkin is out of school this week and really needs to release some of this crazy never ending energy. I've been keeping her pretty busy but just couldn't let the twins miss another nap since they had their vaccines and just weren't feeling 100% I'm not super strict on naps and routines but I am smart enough to know when to say no and to slow things down a bit.

I decided yesterday that after my spin class and before their afternoon nap, I would take them to the park, let Munchkin run free and let Mary Kate and Ashley enjoy the fresh air and beautiful sunshine. I knew that it was going to be packed, but holy crap... I guess packed with toddlers and preschoolers is what I had in my mind, I didn't take into consideration that all of the older school kids would also be there dominating all of the equipment and pushing the little ones around. It was one of the most miserable hours I have had in a very long time. Every time I turned around I was having to pull Munchkin out of the way, pick her up off the ground, and yell at some other parents child for trying to push her down the slide. Hello?? Not my responsibility. Watch your damn kids, people! It absolutely infuriates me to see children run around with no supervision whatsoever. I have 3 children of my own to watch out for, and trying to reprimand another persons child is a slippery slope that I prefer to avoid.

At one point while swinging the girls, 2 older boys maybe 10 or so, came running over to the swings with a baby that looked to be about a year old maybe younger. They put him in the swing (ungracefully) and began to swing him high, and somewhat hard. His little neck was snapping back and forth and they were laughing thinking it was funny. I, not seeing a parent or guardian anywhere around that was going to step in, felt the need to say something. I told the boy that was closest to me that he was probably too little to go that high, he looked at me and looked away. I waited a second, and they continued to push him back and forth jerking his neck, no parents, no guardians, so I said to him again, "he really is too small to be pushed that hard, it's really going to hurt his neck if you aren't careful" The boy replied to me: "He likes it, look, he's smiling." Baby was not smiling... He looked terrified. As I was plotting out my next move, which consisted of smacking the boy in the back of the head to see how he liked having his neck jerked around, the Grandmother walked over and told them to stop. They didn't, they laughed, she stood there and watched. I stood there with my mouth open, thinking what is wrong with these people??? That is when I decided to call it a day. I'd had all that I could handle of watching ignorant people, and trying to keep mine from being trampled. We packed it up and headed home, never to be seen at the park during Spring Break again.

Today? We play in the backyard.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Monday, March 16, 2009

Thanks, But No...

Dear Anonymous,

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog, but next time you decide to comment please make sure to read it carefully, for you see, the tips and tutorial on how to actually hack someone's email account is lost on me. It's not my style. Whether it's a "cheating ex" as you referenced, or just some immoral a-hole, keeping tabs on someone via their personal email account is not something I would EVER, EVER participate in, and the fact of the matter is that the post that I wrote regarding being hacked was about people like you, doing things like that to people like me... I do not wish to be like you, to hire you or have anything to do with you or the likes of you.

Thanks and have a nice day!


I'm a Mom!..?

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Happy Birthday Sweet Girls!!

I couldn't let the day pass without wishing my sweet little miracles the Happiest of Birthdays!! I know everyone says that time flies and they can't believe it's been a year and man are they right. Things seemed to go really fast with the Munchkin, but this last year was gone in a snap.

My sweet little ones, you have both come so far this year. It's hard to believe that you started out as just 4 pound little bundles and spent days wrapped in blankets in your little warming beds in the NICU. You were so tiny I thought I would break you and I thought the Nurses and Doctors were INSANE for letting me bring you home after only 10 days. I was so scared of you, because you see I was officially out-numbered and completely clueless on how to deal with preemies, multiples and such teeny tiny little beings.

Mary Kate, you are amazing to watch. It seems like just this past week you are coming out of your shell. You have been much more affectionate and lovey than you are typically. Up until this week you have always been the one that was the loner. You could play by yourself for what seemed like forever and never think twice about everyone else. You steal toys from your Sisters, but you couldn't care less if they take from you, you always just move on to the next thing. You definitely like to sleep way more than Ashley, this you must get from your big sister. You're newest trick that we are so proud of, is throwing your hands above your head when we say "Touchdown Auburn" it's so insanely cute. You are a great eater and make some of the funniest little faces I have ever seen. I'm so sorry that you have been dealt a hand a little tougher than your sisters and just know that if there was anything in this world I could do to make it just go away I would. I love you so much my little 2 of 3.

Ashley, you are such a little daredevil... if I hear something crash or a head bonk the floor 99.9% of the time you are involved. You are more affectionate than any little baby I've seen. Every single time I sit on the floor to play you stop what ever you are involved in and make a b-line for my lap, you bury your face on me and lay your head down and just love. You seem to be strong physically and eager to experiment with that strength by pulling up and cruising. You are easy to laugh or giggle and your newest thing is to bonk heads - you bonk, giggle and bonk again. You started this the other night while I was rocking you for bed and we did this for a good 10 minutes because I couldn't bring myself to stop and put you in the bed. You sleep well, but you get up too early. Not just for my taste but apparently yours too, it seems that after being up for only a short time you are tired and ready to go back to sleep. Let's work on this moving forward shall we? I love you so much my little 3 of 3.

This past year has been filled with so many firsts for all of us and I'm so excited to see where this road is going to take us. I just ask that you be nice to Mommy, please?

I love you little babies more than all the M&M's in this world.
Mary Kate

Thursday, March 12, 2009


Websters defines this word as:

1 a: to mourn the loss or death of b: to miss very much
: to be very sorry for <regrets his mistakes>

I try to live life without regret and I think I do a pretty good job until you factor in our girls. Tomorrow Mary Kate and Ashley will be One!!! As I look back over this past year, the entire definition of that word could be applied. Now, please do not think that I'm not happy or grateful for all that I have and for how things have turned out because I am... more than I could ever explain. This past week, watching the "babies" play, I have mourned the loss of them being teeny tiny little babies, I miss that part of them dearly. I don't feel like I had near enough time to just sit and hold them and now it's gone. I look back over the last year and it's a complete blur. I remember so many times thinking just hold on and get through it, now that I have a better handle on things I realize that just getting through it, was not good enough, and it's cost me. Sure, I managed to keep everyone alive, healthy, fed, and cleaned (for the most part) but that mentality has led me to being able to count on my hands the amount of times I have actually rocked these babies before bed time, sat with them individually to read a story or just sat and held them because nothing in the world at that time was more important or mattered in the least little bit.

We can't stop time or even slow it down, but it is up to us to make the most of what time we do have with our precious little beings. I think regret is something I will always feel, and although it may not always be the appropriate emotion because a lot of it is out of my control, if it makes me slow down and change, I'll take it.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

A Mothers Love.

Is there no end to the great lengths that a Mother will go to for her children? Today mine was tested. The Munchkin pinched her fingers in the door leaving a store. She cried hysterically, I kissed, I soothed, and she looked up at me and said "Mommy, the only thing that will make my fingers feel better is your candy."

First of all, who taught her to be so cute and manipulative at the same time? Is it really a gift? She knows exactly when to turn this off and on and today was no exception.

Second, they were my Junior Mints!! The low fat treat I had just purchased in anticipation of a quiet bit of mommy time, while all good little children were napping.

Third, why can't I just say no? I tried to compromise but she is smarter than me. I told her that a little bit of candy would make her feel a little better, so I would share my treat... She said "But a lot of a candy will make me feel a lot better." What caring, loving Mother could argue with that? I ended up with about 8 Junior Mints, while driving home from the store, and just like that my tiny piece of afternoon serenity was gone... I admit defeat.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Polygamy VS Quiverfull

We have been so busy lately that I've seriously considered becoming a Polygamist just so I can have a Sister Wife here to pick up my slack. I know Husband wouldn't mind this at all, in fact I'm sure he would love it if his "Religion" told him it was ok to sleep with more than one woman.... he will be disappointed to find out that we all get different nights, it's not like a big 3 way, or 4 way or... at what point does it just become one big orgy? Is there a specified number for that? I guess I could google it... Anyway, back to my point, if I could find another woman to come in that loved to do housework, cook, do laundry, grocery shop, run errands and hates sex, that would be a perfect Sister Wife, in my opinion. Husband would think this is just another mouth to feed and would probably feel somewhat ripped off, but not having sex with the Sister Wife means me not having to worry about him getting another chick pregnant... this would be another stipulation, he's my baby daddy, no having babies with my baby daddy.

So this train of thought got me thinking about those that call themselves "Quiverfull." It's like Polygamy without the extra help.... These couples continue to have children, populating the earth with "Gods arrows" or some other batshit crazy reason to have 20 kids, but they do it all by having the older kids raise the younger ones. Um... No thanks. I don't have 10 years to wait for my oldest to be responsible enough to take care of the house or her siblings, thus leading me to believe that Polygamy is better than being Quiverfull.

How's that for rambling?

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Sunday Scramble.

This weather is incredible! I love it, and have decided that this year I will take full advantage of these days. This time last year, I was stuck in a hospital room, anxiously awaiting the arrival of Mary Kate and Ashley. I remember looking out of my window (in my second room, not the one with the Shawshank Redemption prison yard view) at the beautiful sunshine and wishing I was able to get up (without the use of a wheelchair and nurse) and go outside and just be.

We went to a chili cook off yesterday, beautiful weather and yummy food!

Friday night we went to see Ryan (not Bryan, as in Cuts Like a Knife) Adams. It was Hubby's Christmas gift. It was a really good show. Very laid back and chill. Kind of what I envision the set of Austin City Limits to be like. The lead guitarist was playing a Les Paul, Sunburst guitar that Hubby drooled over the entire time. I will buy this for him as soon as I have a spare 3 grand. We hung out with a few friends before for a quick bite and a few friends after at a really cool bar called the Speakeasy. Two weekends in a row that we were able to get out with friends and have some fun adult time.... Not adult as in "adult" but gown up conversation and such.

I've learned in the past couple of weeks that I can longer hide a look of irritation or control the rolling of my eyes when something or someone that I dislike is mentioned. I catch myself halfway through the involuntary movement and think, that's really not the proper way to behave, then I think, who cares, I'm done pretending.

For those of you wondering about the hacking of email accounts, here is the info you need. I have a gmail account, so if you are a yahoo or hotmail you may have to do a little research, they may have something similar.... Here's the step by step for gmail users.

The twins turn one this week!! Holy Freaking Crap! I may need to demand a re-count on the days since their birth... Surly it hasn't been a year?

I'm tired of listening to people bitch about Obama and his lack of results thus far.... Seriously people? It's been what? 2 months since he took office? It took 8 years for Bush to eff it all up, give him a chance, if things don't improve, I'll bitch with you. (insert hateful anon comments here)

Charter appears to have finally :::knock on wood::: gotten all of our Internet and cable working, together, at the same time, without interruption. It took numerous calls, visits, and eventually the swapping out of equipment but by god, it's working..... for now.

Mary Kate has a big appointment tomorrow - a re-check on her bum kidney. Keep us in your thoughts, this could be really good news or the scheduling of another surgery.

I love the time change!

Happy Daylight Savings Time everybody!

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Jack. Ass.

So while I'm uploading pictures, I thought I would take a moment and share my thoughts about the outcome of last nights season finale of The Bachelor. Warning!! This is a definite spoiler alert, stop reading now if you need to catch up on your Tivo.....

I was super excited about this seasons Bachelor, I thought that getting dumped by the blinkey-eyed snot, Deanna, was the best thing that could have happened to him last year. I watched diligently this season, ruling out the ones that annoyed me and the ones that I didn't think were a good fit. He narrowed it down to Molly and Melissa. Melissa was my choice, Molly mildly annoyed me but I thought overall she wasn't bad and would be a good fit, but really wanted him to choose Melissa. Needless to say I was thrilled when he chose her, my girl/guy never wins... Which maybe says something about my ability to pick these people, if they would just follow my advice, maybe they would actually stay together.... Hey ABC, call me. I will consult for the show, for a small fee.

So, he chose Melissa, proposed and she of course accepted. 3 months have passed, they have watched their story unfold with the rest of America, all the while stealing away and being together when they could, all on the down low. They were re-united on the "After the Rose" show where he promptly dumped her, got the ring back and then canoodled up to Molly while poor Melissa did the drive of shame in the limo... seemingly unaware as to what the hell had just happened.

Now, I will say that I get the whole having second thoughts, made the wrong decision kind of thing he said he was going through, and I'm glad he had the sense enough to make it right, I just think that it was such a douchebag way to handle it. I'm sure his contract had stipulations about doing everything in front of the camera, but did he really have to start making babies with Molly on the same sofa he sat on with Melissa, just 10 minutes before? I mean, come on dude, show some couth. Respect that girl enough to show some restraint and wait until the cameras are off to be all kissy face and handsy.

I really thought that this guy was the best all around Bachelor they had ever had, but I'm beginning to think that he completely whored out is son for 15 minutes of fame and when the fame was about to fade, he had to come up with a way to get just a little more. Wonder how long this will last? Will Melissa be the next Bachelorette? Will he show up and ask for her back? ABC may have just hit the jackpot on keeping this series alive.

Another Forced Hiatus....

Thanks Charter... you still suck.

I'm back on line, kind of. I have so much to blog about, mainly snow, and the most incredibly fantastic birthday party ever!!

Gathering thoughts, uploading pictures and putting babies down to nap.... be back soon!