Saturday, August 02, 2008

Laying It To Rest.

I'm going to say this and be done.. D.O.N.E. - Stick a fork in me, done.

I want to take a second and address my "anonymous" commenter - first of all, really? Have the nerve to use your name. It's ridiculous to hide behind a button. If you feel so strongly that you are the end all, be all when it comes to parenting, why hide?

Anonymous Said:

Maybe the people you are referring to were just trying to make new friends. Maybe they weren't trying to cause trouble. And why are you the Biting Moms? And what's so wrong with homebirthing? I had a great home/water birth.

I have a good idea of who this "anon" is, if it's not you EM or H, I'm sure it will get back to you anyway.

I would have to suggest to these "people" a copy of the book, "How to win friends and influence people." Coming into a group and using what your learn about their parenting techniques for your own website fodder is not a great way to make new friends. This group is set up to support the individuals that have chosen to be a part of it. We may not always agree, but we understand that we are all Moms doing the best we can. We make choices that work for us, and our kids. That does not make anyone more right or wrong than the other. And absolutely NOTHING I have ever heard or seen from these Moms would qualify as "abuse."

When "they" chose to disrespect some of the nicest people I have ever met in my life and put it on the site that they had already tried recruiting for, they started the trouble. What a stupid thing to do.

Why are we called the biting moms? You tell me, you gave us the name. I can only assume, and you know what they say about that. I'm sure my readers would love to hear the reason for that nickname, enlighten us.

And finally, home birthing. As I'm sure you are aware, not my style. I'm typically a believer in not having the Government interfere in my life, especially when it comes to decisions that involve me and my body. I believe that you should be able to birth your children the way you choose, within reason. The more research I see regarding home birth, the more I think that it puts innocent lives in danger. A death rate double to triple that of a hospital birth makes me wonder. Other Countries have been using midwives forever, my Mom was delivered my a midwife in Germany. Those Countries have more restrictions and qualified individuals performing these services. When you consider that the midwives here in the states would not be considered qualified in these other countries also makes me wonder. I also believe that home birthers in general disrespect the very people that would end up saving their lives in the event of an emergency. Things go wrong during child birth, it's not a gimme'. To say that Doctors don't understand that birth is natural, and that they are too quick to intervene is a gross generalization. You have the right to refuse anything you want. The process of laboring at home until the baby's head causes discomfort when sitting, is absurd and completely irresponsible. And we wonder why medical malpractice is so high. I really could go on... But I have grown tired of beating the proverbial dead horse here.

The point in all of this is, that we are all Moms, raising our children to the best of our ability. It is an arduous task. Taking one tidbit from someones life and disrespecting it, is nothing more than a way for you to cope with your own insecurities. In the future, please know that when you join a group likes ours, you take on one, you take on all.

*** Side Note***

Aunt, you do not count as anonymous as you sign your comments.

Mom, the line about having midwives around "forever" was not implying that you are old!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

As your mom's sister, I can vouch for the fact that she IS old, and stiff... stiff as a board.
If "Biting Moms" means what I think, then I too am a biting mom. It was the ONLY thing that worked when my second child kept biting all of us. (It only took one time.) Also, when I was fortunate enough to meet some your group, I was impressed by the closeness. You were all friendly and funny and definitely knew how to have fun. You were not only welcoming to each other, but to those of us outside the group. I can't imagine anyone not wanting to be a part of that. You are better off without them.
Lovingly,
Your Aunt

random_mommy said...

NOT TRYING TO CAUSE PROBLEMS!?!?!
TRYING TO MAKE FRIENDS?!?!

If that's how you treat your friends, this was not the group for you!

What exactly WERE you trying to do by sharing our personal stories with another group and ridiculing and belittling us?!?! Those stories were not yours to share.
The worse thing you can call someone is a bad mother... and that's exactly what you were doing. Maybe you're just tired of others judging you for the choices you make? Whatever the case, APOLOGIZE!!! Save face, show dignity.

random_mommy said...

Have I mentioned that I love the women in your family???

Lil Tinker said...

I'm sorry if this is a double post. It seems my internet connection in the middle of nowhere is somewhat unreliable! I have been reading your blog for a few weeks now. I found it through another blog I read. You are delightful and entertaining! My children are much older than yours are but I so remember the days of toddler and infant...hood! I decided to post because I am sorry that there are women so jealous of you that they want to call names and say ugly stuff to you. They should think about the example they set for their own children. You and your friends seem like fun and wonderful women. Too often we lose site of ourselves in our role as mommy, wife, daughter, friend, etc. I applaud you for being all of those things and so much more and being true to yourselves! I miss the days of the children being small but do enjoy the freedoms! I am sure my opinion is of no consequence but I just wanted you to know that I believe you handled things very diplomatically and with grace! Shame on them for being sniping and disrepectful and worse...JEALOUS that they don't have what you have. We don't have instruction manuals for motherhood. We do the best we can and we love our children. It is obvious that you love your babies and your friends and their children and that makes you a GREAT MOM! Keep up the good job and I look forward to more 'meetings of the cats'!

Sincerely,
Liz

nonluciddrivel said...

You're right. It's time to be done with this. Moms being mean to other moms when they're doing the best they can? No, thanks.

Good post!

Hear Their Everywear said...

You know, I met the ilusive EM. At the time she was nice, freindly and very oen to disscussion.

But after reading and witnessing what hurtful things she and other "friends" could say and do it is outright nauseating!

I also applaud I'm a Mom?! for her constant nurturing to keep our group alive. Without the BDMGE I would not have made the wonderful lifelong fiends I have so far, and my life would not be what it is.

So thank you for your work and "poo"on anyone who would dare try to poke fun at it!

busy momma said...

So how do I join? I don't have a clue about the anon commenter or the crap that went down, but I LOVE that you tell it like it is!! Weren't we meant to be friends?? :)

My2Suns said...

Damn right you take on all! I love how supportive the BDMGE is. There is not a better group of women out there. To quote Blue momma "there is no perfect mom and if someone tells you they are they're a liar!". It's sad that anonymous felt the need to post but not leave her name, that should say something about her character. It also pisses me off that EM took the stance of the innocent newcomer being "attacked" when she was really Brutus to our Cesar. UUGGGHHH.....as RM said APOLOGIZE!!!

Mommapeas said...

I'm sure I do many things that some would deem "questionable" but doing what I think is best for my child is not one of them.

I respect that some of "those" Moms were only doing the same thing, but unfortunately, they weren't interested in discussing it, they only wanted to post inflammatory arguments and run and hide. Then, to turn around and hide on their own board was just ridiculous.

Shame shame, we know your name and you messed with the wrong group of women. We are strong and we have each other. Boo to you. And props to I'm a Mom!, Poodlehead, Tasty (a.k.a. Mama Pit Bull) and everyone else that stood up to their b.s.