Monday, June 30, 2008

Drunk Brunch

Nothing says "Welcome New Baby" like a brunch full of drunk bitches.

We hosted a baby shower yesterday for our dear Mommapeas and soon to be baby "Airport." It was nice, she got some good loot and I got a good buzz! I honestly think that all of us Hostesses were drunk or thoroughly buzzed by On a Sunday.... The Lord's day. Heaven help us all.

I blame it all on Yankee Belle who "eyeballed" the amount of liquor in the Hula punch, and Random Mommy who told her it was ok to do so. I'm not sure if it was the buzz that made everything so funny, but when one drunk ass (not naming names) thought that this scrambled word:


actually spells "Toddler," I laughed so hard I cried.

I love you ladies! And congratulations Mommapeas, we can't wait to meet little Airport.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Summers Eve, Ever Hear Of It?

I went to the gym again today, while I was gettin' busy on the cardio, I caught a whiff of something awful. At first I was thinking, please Lord don't let that be me. I did a quick under arm sniff, not me. I glance to my right, no one. I glance to the left and there she is. A rather large woman stepping up on to the eliptical, 2 down from me. Yes, I could smell her from 2 machines away. I do realize that people sweat and people stink, it is a gym. I tend to get a little sticky under the arms after a good work out too. The real problem with this scenario was the smell was more than your average body odor.... Are you picking up what I'm putting down here? Stank ass, puntang, is what I was smelling. If you ever need a reason to not work out, there it is. Cozy up next to the hygienically challenged and you can call it a day.

Needless to say, I cut the cardio short and hit the weights. I think may nose hairs may be singed.

Saturday, June 21, 2008


Munchkin: Mommy look, a booger (holding her finger out for me to inspect)

Me: Eww, gross. Go get a tissue. ( I continue changing a diaper)

{{{{ Enter Munchkin with the twins booger sucker up her nose. }}}}

Me: Baby, What are you doing? Where's your booger?

Munchkin: It's up here.... (she points to the inside of her nose)


Thursday, June 19, 2008

By George, I Think She's Got It!

Dare I speak it aloud? I think the Munchkin is officially potty trained.... Knock, knock, knocking on wood.

We went for a visit at Oma's house yesterday, and I figured it was as good a time as any to test drive the big girl panties out in public. We took extra everything, panties, clothes, diapers, pullups, you name it, we had it. We even loaded up the "pretty pink potty." She did great, not a single accident. We were doing so good, we decided to tempt fate and leave her as/is while dining out last night at our favorite Mexican restaurant. I figured since they know us, and like us, they wouldn't be too mad if we left a puddle on the floor. 1 sprite, 42 trips to the potty, and 0 accidents! Yay, Munchkin.

This morning, when heading out to the gym, I thought it would be best for her to be in a pull-up. When I went to pick the girls up from the play area, the lady told me that she went tee-tee in the big girl potty while I was working out! I can't believe it! Have we finally made it through to the other side? Is the regression over? I hope, I hope, I hope!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

What I Noticed.

I was at the gym this morning sweating my ass off on the eliptical machine when I noticed a lady walking around the track. Not so unusual in itself, but add in the fact that she was wearing jean shorts and that will make you wonder, what kind of exercising can you really do in denim? Then she gets passed by cell-phone talking guy. This guy is walking the track, talking on his cell phone, the ENTIRE time. What's he wearing? Cargo shorts and a polo.

Did I miss something? Am I no longer a cool kid because I actually wear comfortable work out gear? Maybe I'm in the wrong place!

Things that make you go, hmmmm.

Friday, June 13, 2008

I've Created A Monster

On the way to the pool this week, Munchkin asked to hear "Daughters" by John Mayer. I dial it up on the iPod and make mention about how much I love John Mayer.

Munchkin: He's my John Mayer
Me: No, he's my John Mayer

** arguing with a 2 year old makes perfect sense **

Munchkin: No! My John Mayer
Me: I saw him first...
Munchkin: It's ok mommy, we can play with him, one at a time.

If she only knew.....

Sunday, June 08, 2008

The Other Woman.

Hubby is having an affair. She lives in Atlanta, and has a lot to offer, she even has an exotic name, IKEA. I'm not really the jealous type, in fact, I kind of like her too. We met once about 2 years ago. We spent all day together and yet, I walked away feeling like I could have spent so much more time with her. I guess Hubby felt the same way. I think he has been on-line with her since then, but recently he's been visiting in person. 3 times in the last month or so. My only complaint with his new girlfriend is that she demands he bring my car when he comes to visit. She likes the extra cargo space... go figure. But this leaves me stranded. 3 car seats won't fit in his car, so here I sit, left to wonder what he will be bringing back for us this time. It's always something good. Bookcases and storage bins for the playroom, dressers and lamps for the twins, a fun play tent for the Munchkin. All gifts meant to ease the guilt he feels over his transgressions. I don't know if it works for him, but it makes me feel better.. It's more than what I bring him when I visit my boyfriend, Gap.

So there it is, our dirty laundry. The sorted tales of our open relationship. I know we aren't the only ones that live this progressive lifestyle, but not a lot of people will talk about it openly. I hope this post will inspire you to be more "open." Who knows what you might get out of the deal!

Saturday, June 07, 2008

My Day.

Random Mommy picked me up this morning and we headed out for our Day O' Relaxation, at the spa. We met up with Momma Kim, got checked in, and assigned our lockers, robes and slippers. Since we were early we decided to spend some of the morning lounging poolside. Yes, I said lounging... We Gossiped, sipped margaritas (not Momma Kim and baby L) and had some good ol' girl time. We went up to the clubhouse where we ate lunch over looking the pool before going back down for our massage, (ahhhh,) facial, (OUCH!) and pedicure, (hello strappy sandals.) We had some extra time after the pedis, so we went back out to the pool and relaxed some more.

What a day! It's been in the works since I was preggers with the twins, we just couldn't manage to pull it together, but alas, we did and it was good. Thank you ladies for such wonderful company, next time we must get the other bitches involved and rock it out for a weekend stay.

Thanks to my wonderful hubby for taking care of our little ladies all day, so I could be pampered from head to toe! Mmm, mmm, good!

Side Note: No more facials for me. That Bitch (not a term of endearment for her) hurt me and I look the same. If you are going to hurt me like that, I better walk out looking like Jennifer Garner or Heidi Klum.

Thursday, June 05, 2008


My babies went to sleep at 10:30 last night, they woke up this morning at 3:50. Do you know what this means??? Mommy got 5 hours of sleep! Thank you rice cereal.

We went to the Dr to discuss the twins ongoing reflux problem, as a result, they were put on Zantac and I was told to give the Enfamil A/R, or, since I have a whole case of Similac, add rice cereal to the formula. It's a win, win. They are no longer throwing up (only twice since last week) and they may actually be on the road to sleeping through the night. Me. So. Happy. I'm actually doing a happy dance, right now. No kidding.

Monday, June 02, 2008

Guilty, Your Honor.

This will be my plea when I get taken in for stalking.

Munchkin and I were shopping at Babies R Us last week, minus "Mary Kate" and "Ashley." I was just about to head to the check out when I saw her. Tallish, dark hair, looked to be about my age, toddler son on her hip. I'm sure you are thinking to yourself... So? Well, in addition to the toddler on her hip, she was pushing a double stroller, just like mine. With twin infants, just like mine. I had to meet her, I needed to know her, I needed to share war stories with her. But how? I began to circle the racks, trying to figure out how to make my move. I wanted to minimize my stalker craziness as much as possible, so I had to think. She was shopping for strollers, perfect. That section was large enough for me to meander about until I could get close. A couple of minutes later, I had worked my way over to her. I was pretending to be looking at the mesh stroller covers when we made eye contact. That was it, my chance, and I took it. I leaned in just lightly, not too much. (Moms with infant twins tend not to like that about strangers, trust me.) Then I asked "how old are your twins?" And that was it, we were talking and laughing like old friends. Her twins, boy/girl, are 4 months old. They were born full term at 38 weeks. One of them has been battling reflux. Her toddler son, is 18 months. I shared my information about buggy boards. A must for our situation, if you don't want a triple stroller. After about 20 minutes, no lie. We parted ways. I so wanted to ask her for her digits, but resisted the urge. We were next to each other at the check out and like all stores do now, they asked for her phone number. I could have gotten it then, but I'm sure that would have landed me in the nut house for sure.

Hi: Remember me? We met in the stroller aisle at Babies R Us?
What's That?
How did I get your number?
Well, I wrote it down when you gave it to the cashier at the check out..... I'm really not as crazy as I seem.
Wait now, calm down. There's no need to call the police.
Ok, I'm sorry, I won't bother you again....

The Recipient of some lovin'

A big thank you to Memoirs of a Mommy for showing me some love. I will pass this along now in the spirit of miracle babies everywhere. For everyone that supported us and rallied around us during the twins arrival, I give you my love. Our babies truly are little miracles. If you are one of those supporters and happen to have your own blog, post this and please pass it along.