Sunday, March 02, 2008

Hospital Prostitute, No Match for Me.

My wonderful Hubby has been my designated food runner this past week. The food here is worse than I can possibly explain. He went out yesterday to get us some lunch and comes back telling me this story.

On his way back into the hospital, he saw what looked like a crack whore or prostitute heading his way. Knowing that he was about to be hit up for some money, he tried not to make eye contact with her and keep moving, until she says to him "You're Cute." His response? "Thanks." Conclusion? Crazy Hospital Prostitute is trying to pick up my husband while I'm up here on bed rest, pregnant and starving. The nerve!

While we were outside enjoying the day. Hubby and I chatting, Muchnkin running around in the grass playing with imaginary friends, I see CHP coming around the corner. She's a really skinny, black chick. Wearing really tight, denim capris and some fancy sandals. Topped off with a tiny-t and a patchwork denim jacket. She's carrying a bag of potato chips and a Mtn Dew. Only now she's not alone. She has managed to find herself a man. A really skinny white boy, as redneck as you will ever see.

I Wonder how long the Rednecks wife has been pregnant, and withholding the nookie?

It's nice to know that a skinny crack whore is still no match for me, even in my current state.


random_mommy said...

I'm just laughing that he said Thanks! HA! It's funny because he really was flattered!

Who goes to a hospital to find a hooker? Why did the hooker think a hospital is good for business? Is she at the STD clinic looking for men?

Next time I'm up there I want to have a chat with her.

Kelly said...

Hospital prostitute?!??

Keeping in mind that there's an exceptionally high chance she has Henry IV, a guy would have to be pretty desperate to go for it!

Anonymous said...

I have such a perfect visual of the hospital ho now - I wonder if she caters more to families of patients or doctors who don't have time to date?

Glad to see you're hanging in there!

Steph said...

Ewww!!! It's cute that your hubby was flattered!

MommaDrool said...

very funny! i will never forget arriving at the hospital to have was 5am, my water had broken, i was having super-duper contractions at 2 minutes i step out of the car clinging to the door through a contraction, a homeless/con man approaches me and starts telling me about his car breaking down and he needs money...

husby tells me my exact words were, "can you not f*cking see that i am in labor. i should kick your a**." i think husby emebllished that story : )

but really what is up with the crazies hangin' at the hospital?

Kim said...

hospital prostitute is probably a mental patient that escapes from her floor. we had an elderly lady do that on our floor when i use to work at st.v, and they found her picking the flowers in the garden at mcdonalds. no lie.