Sunday, March 30, 2008

Target's the Bomb.

If you watched the local news tonight, you probably saw where one of the local Target stores was surrounded for about 4 hours. Police, Firefighters, Paramedics and finally the Bombsquad were called in because of a "suspicious package" found in the parking lot. Guess where I was shopping this afternoon? Yup! Target. Now, I love Target as much as the next guy, but not enough to be blown to bits while shopping for deals in the "Dollar Spot."

I got to thinking about this a little while ago and have decided that it may be my destiny to have Target as my final resting place. See post: Moronic Jackass. First a man tries to run me (and Munchkin) over in the parking lot and now a bomb? Maybe I should give Wal-Mart another shot.

Friday, March 28, 2008


Sorry family! You are going to hate reading this. I have officially made my decision on a Presidential Candidate....... I am joining the likes of a good friend, and have become an "Obama Mama," officially.

I have struggled with this decision, and have changed my mind over and over. I will say however, if Obama wins the nomination, and chooses Hilary (bold face liar) as a running mate, all bets are off. Then? I will be screwed, I do not like McCain. At all.

I realize that some "damaging" things have happened with his campaign in the last couple of weeks, because a RETIRED pastor from his church has diarrhea of the mouth. Come on! Get over it all ready. If anything, it's made my decision to vote for him easier. He has handled himself with grace and dignity. Shouldn't we be more focused on how he is going to run this Country, rather than how someone associated with him can say some not so nice things?

Anyway, that's it. I will now be an outcast in my family for crossing party lines. I just feel the need to vote for someone based on policy versus Democrat or Republican. I like him, I think he will do an excellent job as President. Besides, could he do any worse?

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Sex in Six?

So, what's the rule on sex after a c-section? I know that normally you have to wait 6 weeks... or months, whatever you feel comfortable lying about. "But Honey, the Doctor said..." *wink* *wink*

Let's face it, getting back on the proverbial horse is a little frightening after having pushed something the size of a watermelon out of your punky. With a c-section, it seems a little more manageable. I just hate to be the person who calls her Dr only to ask that question.

I would have asked the day they let me leave the hospital, but it was a strange male Dr that gave me my walking papers, and for some reason, asking when a little nookie would be appropriate again, made me slightly uncomfortable.

Anyone out there is bloggy world want to share some thoughts? Hubby would be greatly indebted ... and happy to not be on the 6 week program.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Look Who's Home!

The Easter Bunny brought us something special this year. This was better than any chocolate bunny I've ever had in my Easter Basket.

Our girls are finally home and doing well. Eating, sleeping, pooping. Oh, and pooping, pooping pooping. All is right in the world.

Who needs a gym? My guns are going to be rockin'

Trouble X's 3

Monday, March 24, 2008

Good Taste

This song started out as just a ringtone on my cell phone. Now? It's Munchkins latest obsession. She sings it, she dances to it and will watch this video back to back, all day, if I let her. She especially loves the "ring around the rosie" they do towards the end.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Rightful Termination.

I hate stupid people. They suck and should have rocks thrown at them.

I came home today from visiting the babies, my cleaning lady was here. I have known her for close to 10 years, and she's been cleaning for us off and on, for about 6 of those 10.

Here is the conversation as I walked in the door, seeing her for the first time in about 5 weeks.

Mrs T: I'm so glad to see you, how are the babies?

Me: Doing great, just came from the hospital, they ate good and are gaining back the weight they lost.

Mrs T: We have been praying for them and I just knew that the Good Lord was going to see those babies through.

Mrs T. puts her hand on my mushy, been gutted like a fish belly and says.....and I kid you not....Wait for it.........

Looks like you could have had another one in there.

Followed by:

Don't worry, I'm sure it's just fluid, it will go away.

Who the hell says that to a woman, 5 days after she has birthed 2 humans? If she were a man I would have hit her, square in the face. Because she is not, and I have known her for so long, I said nothing.

If I didn't need her so bad, I would have contemplated termination.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Peas in a Pod

It was cute while it lasted. We took this picture last night when they were moved into the same bed. I got there this morning and they had been given permission to tan. They were moved into the light bed for failing their bilirubin this morning. We had a feeling that it was coming, little "kate" was practically an Oompah, she was so orange. Hopefully it will be short lived and they will be out from under those hideous lights soon.

Call Me Nemo.

Funny how a Disney movie can make a hormonal, new mom of twins, relate to the main character.

Last night the Munchkin and I were sitting here watching Finding Nemo, when I realized that I too, have a "gimpy fin" of sorts. Because the twins are so premature, the NICU has to measure every little drop of milk they take, meaning I have spent every 3 or so hours since I've been home, pumping like Elsie the cow. Things are going much better this time around than it did with Munchkin, but for some reason, one boob rocks it, while the other, not so much.

Hopefully production will increase in both, so I don't over work the one, but in the meantime I can't help but wonder, is it possible to have a "boobie blowout?"

Friday, March 14, 2008

Update on the Momo's

The girls are here and doing great!

"Mary Kate" arrived at 12:26pm, weighing 4 lbs 6 oz. "Ashley" was out at 12:28pm, weighing 4 lbs 7 oz, both 17 inches long.

"Mary Kate" was breathing great on her own, and "Ashley" needed a si-pap for about 24 hours. Both girls are now off of everything except a small IV, and Ashley is eating more than I can pump.

Things are so different than with the Munchkin, it seems weird that I have to ask complete strangers to update me on my babies, and ask them for permission to hold or touch them. "Ashley" is eating every 3 hours, and they have allowed me to bottle feed her twice so far. Now we just need to get the Doctor to give some orders for "Mary Kate" to eat, and she will get caught up very soon.

Here are a couple pf pictures that were taken on Thursday. They look so different already, I will update again with new pictures soon!

"Mary Kate"


Thursday, March 13, 2008

Tick Tock.

Today is the big day, you can tell by the time of this post that my anxiety is in full swing, and sleeping a little longer is just not an option this morning.

So many things are going through my brain this morning, it's hard to believe that in just 7 short hours, we are going to be the parents of 3 little girls. Getting to this point has seemed like an endless road. I'm excited to be closing the door on this chapter of our "adventure." I'm also extremely nervous about what we still have to face with the health of these girls. Their health will finally be determined today and it kind of freaks me the hell out.

We have had so much support, and so many prayers being said, by more people than I will ever even realize. I have to believe that we have made it this far, without incident, because of those prayers and well wishes.

So, off I go to get myself ready. Stay tuned. We will post and update on our miracle babies as soon as we can.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Future VP?

How cute is this child? What you can't see is that she is pulling a little piece of Elmo luggage like she's headed towards her gate at the airport.

Hey Dad, gotta let you go, that's my Zurich client on the other

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Hanz and Franz

We are here to..... Pump, You Up!

Getting this round of steroids to "pump up" the twins, makes me think about this old SNL skit. Hope they don't arrive looking too pumped up!

My Life is About To Change....

This makes it really seem real..... Holy Crap!

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Spring is Coming.

Spring forward. It's daylight savings time again. Although losing that one hour of sleep messes up nite-nite and naptime for about a week, it's so nice to have the longer days. Sunset today is 6:51pm. Love. It.

It also means that it's one less hour that I have to spend here on lockdown! Don't laugh, every little bit helps.

She Said It, It Is So.

I don't have a lot of Munchkin stories to tell these days, since I only see her sporadically throughout the day. Hubby told me this story and it made me laugh.

He got the Munchkin up this morning and she informed him that she had a "boogie" in her nose. Hubby said, let me see. She tilted her head up for him to check out the boogie situation. Not seeing anything, he tells her "I don't see it." To which she replies, "Well, it's there."

What can you say to that?

Friday, March 07, 2008

Screw Murphy and His Laws.

You all know how crazy the weather can be here in Alabama. We've had 70 degrees all week, and now they are calling for snow tonight and tomorrow. Do you have any idea what this means? I. Will. Go. Into. Labor.

I am stuck here in the hospital, waiting to push forth humans from my loins, and it's going to happen when no one can get here. My Doctor who is not on call this weekend has instructed the other Doctors to call her in case of an emergency, and she would get here ASAP. It's going to snow a foot, my Dr won't be here, neither will Hubby.

Just wait, Murphy and his laws are always biting me in the ass, this will be his greatest feat so far. Just wait people, just wait.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Almost There.

After much discussion and weighing of the pros and cons, we have decided that "Mary Kate and Ashely" will grace us with their long awaited presence next Thursday the 13th. This will make me 33 weeks exactly, and my Doctor feels that we are getting to that point where they will be safer outside of the womb rather than inside.

The monitoring is going well, but everyday we go, puts us at an increased risk for some type of an emergency. We all feel like it is best to have a plan in place that would allow me to have a 2nd round of steroids, have our family here, and most importantly have the proper staff here to care for them upon their arrival.

The situation is not ideal, we could still face many complications, but we feel good about our decision. We know that we have tons of support and prayers from across the country.

Love to you all and thanks for the support! It's nice to know that there is an end in sight. Stay tuned!

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Private Pooper.

Pooping is a funny thing. It's something that everyone does, and some people have no problem doing in public. Whether it's at a friends home, at a store, a football game, or restaurant, these people, "public poopers" if you will, can go anywhere, anytime. I can not. I need my privacy. I need time. Lots of time. Now that I'm in the 3rd trimester, things are slowing way down. Ask any other pregnant person you know. I don't even like to pee in a public restroom, much less poop. It has to be a serious "turtle head" type of an emergency to get me to poop outside the comforts of my own home.

So here I sit, in a hospital room with numerous people coming and going throughout the day, without notice. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to plan your pooping around the constant visitors? Between the Nurses, Doctors, PCA's, housekeeping, food service, hospital administrators and my regular friends and family, I figure I have a window of approximately 2.42 minutes each day to take care of this task.

It is quite the conundrum. I know I'm going to get caught one day, it's inevitable. The question is how do I handle the untimely visitors while sitting on the pot? My bathroom is right by the front door, do I yell from the bathroom? What would I say? What if they don't wait for an answer? (They usually don't.)

I do realize that I have issues, I know I have a problem. I wonder if there is some type of a 12 step program that can get me through this, a "Private Poopers Anonymous," of sorts. Maybe I'm just doomed to a life of anxiety ridden days. A life where I always wonder where I will be when the poop comes calling?

Side note
- in the time that it has taken me to write this post, I have had 4 different hospital appointed people in this room. I have had my blood pressure checked, temp taken, garbage collected, monitors adjusted and consulted with a case worker. Do you see what I'm saying here???

Monday, March 03, 2008

Me. Pregnant.

Inspired by Catwoman's recent post about posting belly pictures, and the fact that Diary of a Modern Matriarch is doing it. I've decided to post mine. Keep in mind these were done at 27 weeks, I'm much bigger now.

Big shout out to the most wonderful photographer ever!! If you need pics, call him! Jason Wallis. He's awesome and has been doing our pictures since Munchkin was born.

(and yes, Hubby said I could)


Lockdown. Day 7

I have officially been here on lockdown for one full week. I have to say that things aren't so bad. Home would be better, but for now this is my home and I'm trying to make the best out of a crazy situation.

The rundown.

The babies are doing great. All of the Nurses and Doctors are pleased with the outcome of the monitoring. Heart rates are strong and steady.

I am now on medication to stop the contractions that I've been having for several days now. I've been told this can stall labor for weeks. In the meantime, the medicine makes me somewhat sick, makes my heart race, and makes me shake like Michael J Foxx. (Excuse will I pack for my trip to hell.)

The nursing staff is fantastic, they are taking great care of me. They have been very tolerant of my visitors, contraband, and even let me have the Munchkin up here with me for a little while this morning for some much needed one on one time.

My view? It could best be described as the prison yard you see in Shawshank Redemption. Nothing but rocks, and the back side of another building. I can't even tell if the sun is shining - which, on the plus side allows me to sleep a little later.

All in all, things are going well. I miss my family, my home, and my friends, but in my heart I know that what we are doing is going to make a world of difference in the outcome of this pregnancy. What's that saying? If it doesn't kill us, it make us stronger? I'm gonna be a modern day Superhero! I will just need a little time before fitting into my skinsuit and tights.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Hospital Prostitute, No Match for Me.

My wonderful Hubby has been my designated food runner this past week. The food here is worse than I can possibly explain. He went out yesterday to get us some lunch and comes back telling me this story.

On his way back into the hospital, he saw what looked like a crack whore or prostitute heading his way. Knowing that he was about to be hit up for some money, he tried not to make eye contact with her and keep moving, until she says to him "You're Cute." His response? "Thanks." Conclusion? Crazy Hospital Prostitute is trying to pick up my husband while I'm up here on bed rest, pregnant and starving. The nerve!

While we were outside enjoying the day. Hubby and I chatting, Muchnkin running around in the grass playing with imaginary friends, I see CHP coming around the corner. She's a really skinny, black chick. Wearing really tight, denim capris and some fancy sandals. Topped off with a tiny-t and a patchwork denim jacket. She's carrying a bag of potato chips and a Mtn Dew. Only now she's not alone. She has managed to find herself a man. A really skinny white boy, as redneck as you will ever see.

I Wonder how long the Rednecks wife has been pregnant, and withholding the nookie?

It's nice to know that a skinny crack whore is still no match for me, even in my current state.

Munchkin = Trooper

Do you have any idea how difficult this separation has been for me? I feel so incredibly guilty for not being able to care for my own child. I realize that what I'm doing is short term, she won't remember it, and I have to do, what I have to do for these babies.

My sister who kept her this week, said that she seemed really sad, and was very clingy. Hubby brought her up here and she looked tired and sickly. This completely broke my heart. She's been so good. Not fussing or crying when she leaves, just asking for me throughout the day. I absolutely miss her more than anything. I get to see her a lot, but it's funny how you can begin to crave another person.

Today was actually a really great day. Hubby brought the Munchkin up here and I was able to go AWOL for a little while. They gave us a wheelchair and Hubby wheeled me outside where we were able to sit in the beautiful weather, and enjoy the sunshine. Munchkin thought the wheelchair ride was the greatest thing ever. I felt like a big dork, but I was out of the room and not about to complain.

I guess it's true that it's harder on us, as Moms, than it is for the kids that have to be without us. She is such a great kid and completely makes my day when I see her walk in the door.

This is by far one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life -- and truly one of the toughest tests I will ever have to face.

*sniff* *sniff*