Friday, August 17, 2007

Open Letter.

Dear Big Ass SUV Driving Morons,

Is it too much to ask that you take the extra 2 seconds to back out and straighten your big ass vehicle into the parking space correctly? Are you in such a hurry to see what's in the Dollar Spot at Target to consider that some people actually have to get a child out of a car seat?

I feel that I have every right to lash out at you Morons, as I have recently re-joined the Big Ass SUV population. But I am different than you, I am considerate and I know what the little painted lines in the parking lot mean. These are not merely guidelines for you to follow at your own discretion, they have a purpose. You park between them, not on them, not halfway off of them. And for the love of all that is Holy, if someone else has made the terrible decision to park like an idiot, don't feel the need to "squeeze" in beside them, this only makes matters worse for everyone.

It never ceases to amaze me how many of you actually have children and still don't take the time to park straight. This causes me much stress and aggravation. It also causes me to "accidentally" ding your car without a care in the world. Next time you park like a crazy ass person, and you come out of the store to see a slight improvement to your paint job.... You're Welcome!

Consider it a reminder that your size 12 ass probably won't cram into a size 4 pair of jeans either!

Regards,
A.C.

9 comments:

"MommaDrool" said...

Hey, don't be dissing on us big girls! Just kidding!

I just ventured to Target today and was parked next to someone that was parked horizontally (literally) across two parking places in their Mercedes SUV...pulleez! Your car is not that great! (Okay, maybe so...but get over yourself...)

I'm a Mom!..? said...

No dissing intended -- I promise, just a comparison on delusion!!

We Doo, Doo You?? said...

I find that more people here don't take the time to straighten out their vehicle than back home. That being said I usually try to straighten out and yes if the spot is close enough I will try to squeeze in but only if I am between my lines. Usually I don't do that because I have to get kids out of both sides of my SUV. Even more props to your rant about the SUV's.

Yankee Belle said...

I ride both sides of this fence. If I happen to park crappily...sometimes I leave it that way. BUT there are times I feel the urge to key a car becuase it is parked ridiculously close to the line and like you said I can't get her out of the car. Me = Hypocrite. =P

Zephra said...

I hate those people too! I can't tell you how many times I have had to put the baby in through the passenger side.

I'm a Mom!..? said...

Oooh... Going through the passenger side is a whole other post!!!! Grrr.

Mommapeas said...

As someone who can barely drive, much less park, I must say this drives me crazy as well. We should make little cards to put on windowshields for idiots behind the wheel.

my minivan is faster than yours said...

Just today I was at Costco and was chatting on the phone all snuggled in parking spot (straight, I swear!) and watched TWO men with large trucks park just as you described. But worry not, I gave him the evil eye. Although admittedly it's hard to look tough when you're cruising in a minivan!

I'm a Mom!..? said...

Minivans can definitely ruin your "street cred"