Saturday, March 31, 2007

Crib Diving

This is Munckin's newest hobby. It scared the crap out of me the first time she did it. Now that I know, she knows what she is doing, it's really pretty funny.

She stands at one end of her crib, arms up in the air (imagine Superman) and springs forward into the air and lands, stretched out, flat on her belly. She giggles like it's the funniest thing ever.. This makes me giggle too!

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Cuts Like a Knife

The Munchkin stabbed me with a knife tonight after dinner... I knew she didn't like the green beans but to stab me over it was completely un-called for.

To answer your question, Yes, I'm ok, just a small puncture wound in my thigh. Nothing major. Now, to answer your other question, what was she doing with a knife in the first place? Well, after I let her play in the street, drink some gasoline, and run with scissors in her hand..... I was loading the dishwasher while Munchkin was playing with her kitchen toys, putting some in the dishwasher like usual. I turned to get another dish out of the sink, when I felt this sharp stick in the leg. I looked down and she is playing with a knife. Now, before you go and call DHR (again) please remember it was MY leg that she stabbed, and the approximate lapse in time was no more than 5 seconds.

I ask, why did God make these little humans so fast? Why didn't he make us faster? Was he sure that I should be doing this for a living?

Not really sure why I choose to share these horror stories with friends, family and some strangers. Maybe I'm hoping that somewhere out there I'm not the only one who has been stabbed by their 1 1/2 year old!

Monday, March 26, 2007

Bedtime Blues

What has happened to my good sleeper? My Munchkin used to be the best sleeper and would fall asleep with no problems.

As I sit here and post about this she is screaming her head off in her room and my heart is breaking. I know that this is a little faze that she is going through and is most likely being amplified due to her teething and allergies. Having to pry her off of me, is not something my emotions can handle. Her little arms around my neck and legs wrapped around my waist, her tiny little voice saying over and over "no mama, no, no" as I try to put her in her bed is killing me!!!

I've been about to give in for the last 30 minutes, but Hubby is being strong. I know that we have to stay consistent, and that it will pass, just like all of the other "interruptions" in her normal behavior. It's just getting harder now that she can talk and manipulate.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

The Toddler Diet

I was told by someone the other day how skinny I looked, and asked if I was still working out.. My reply was No, I'm on the "toddler diet"

For those of you with a toddler, you will understand. Here's how it works and thank goodness that it does, seeing as how having a toddler can make it difficult to get to the gym...

The only piece of equipment you need is, well, a toddler. Unfortunately there is about a 2 year waiting period for these, more if you aren't pregnant yet. And it's not something you can used on Ebay, at least I haven't seen any, I have thought a few times about selling mine... Ha, just kidding!

Once you have your toddler, the rest is easy. If you actually have the time to eat a meal that day, let them eat half of everything on your plate, then follow them around either picking up toys or the toddler. Climbing the stairs 100 times each day for laundry, diaper changes, and other misc reasons is an added bonus for leg work. Ride a little horsey also works your legs.

If you are in need of some upper body strength, I suggest lifting your toddler over your head and saying "weeeee" - lower and repeat until arms feel like jelly.

Back and shoulders can be worked by pulling your child off of furniture or picking them up off the floor of Target, Wal Mart or your living room during the middle of a tantrum.

Good Core work can be achieved by wrestling your toddler and sitting on them during diaper and clothing changes.

This I give to you free of charge, if I could just figure out a way to profit from this, I would be rich....

Thursday, March 22, 2007

All Alone Again.

Hubby is out of town again. I unfortunately do not have a "Double Doozie" to enjoy this time, but I did rent a stupid movie to watch.

Munchkin had a hellish afternoon. I think she is teething and is really bothered with her allergies. This damn pollen is all over everything, we've been trying to play outside and enjoy the beautiful weather, but the sneezing and watery eyes make it not so enjoyable.

Nothing much going on, catching up on housework and Munchkin said "Butt" today, thanks to her Oma... what a good influence!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

More Pics From the Wedding!

Happily Ever After.......

Me and Hubby! Isn't he handsome?

My Mom, Sister and Me at the Rehearsal Dinner

Ya Down Wit O.P.P?

Does it make me a terrible Mother and role model that I let my little Munchkin tear up the dance floor at the reception to the Naughty By Nature song, Ya Down Wit OPP?

This will most likely affect my "Mother Of The Year" award, but it sure was funny!

Monday, March 19, 2007

I Completely Choked!

All I had to do was stand up and say a few nice things about my sister, not so difficult, right? Wrong! Very Wrong.. I come from a long line of very sappy, emotional women, and I guess I have now officially joined their ranks.

I thought so hard for weeks leading up to the wedding, about what I would say and how I would start the toast that I was going to make. I ran into a friend who said that she had a toast that I might like to take a look at, she sent it to me, and I absolutely loved it! That was it, problem solved.

In preparation for the big speech, I read and re-read this toast over, no less than 200 times, thinking maybe if I "de-sensitize" myself, I won't lose it during the middle of my reading... No such luck. I don't even think I got out the first line before my voice cracked and the tears started to flow, although I'm sure I could go back and check the video evidence, isn't video evidence always pleasant?.

It really came out of no where, I made it through the ceremony with only damp eyes and a tear or two, but I was about to completely bawl reading this toast.. It was all I could do to mutter the last couple of lines and tell my sister that I loved her and then it was Exit Stage Left!!!

The wedding was B-E-A-utiful and my sister looked amazing, radiant and full of love and happiness... So, without an audience.....

His hello was the end of her endings
Her laugh was their first step down the aisle
His hand would be hers to hold forever
His forever was as simple as her smile
He said she was what was missing
She said instantly she knew
She was a question to be answered
And his answer was I Do

Best wishes to my sister and new brother in law, may you both be filled with love and kindness to each for "always, always"

I love you both!

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Dum, Dum, Da - Dum

Here comes the bride! Tonight is the night... I'm so excited for my sister, she and her "groom" are so happy. They have put so much hard work into the planning of this wedding, I hope it goes off without a hitch. They never do, but that is my wish for her anyway.

The Rehearsal dinner was great and very laid back. I am slightly concerned about the amount of actual practice time we got in. We practiced the order of things about 3 times, and then changed everything up and didn't practice the changes. That just didn't seem to concern the Director Lady - have you ever noticed how completely bitchy those women are?

I'm anxious to see how the Munchkin does, she will be walking down the aisle with me. I will either end up having to carry her or drag her, regardless, she is going to be freakin' cute!! Flower girls and ring bearers are always cute!

I didn't have to give my toast last night, Uggg! I was really wanting to get it over with. Now I have it hanging over my head all day again, I'm getting so nervous!!!!

Off to get my hair and make up done and have a quick lunch with my "unwed" sister.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Rehearsal Dinner

It's finally here.... The big weekend that we have been preparing for since October. My baby sister is finally getting hitched.

We have the rehearsal dinner tonight and I'm supposed to make a toast. I used to be in sales, this should not be making me so nervous, but I feel that because I spend 90% of my time talking to a toddler, that I don't really relate that well in front of other adults anymore, unless they too have a child.

Since I can't make a toast about poop, fever virus's or how many rocks my child ate at the park last week I find this to be challenging... Wish me luck!

Thursday, March 15, 2007

$40.00 Shoes, $6.00 T-shirt

This disease can also be called, "A Mother's Sacrifice"

What has happened to me? And all of my Mommy Friends for that matter. It seems that we now have this problem when it comes to shopping for ourselves. We would rather and almost always choose to purchase new things for our children, while we scour the discount racks and bargain bins for 1/2 price t-shirts, or anything at all to call our own.

Track suits and sweats are the standard attire for most play dates, while the kids are all dolled up in their BabyGap, Oshkosh and Kelly Kids. I kid you not when I say that my wardrobe these days is poor, it's dismal in fact. Just the other day while out shopping, I purchased the Munchkin a $40.00 pair of Strasburg slippers to go with her flower girl dress. I tried to borrow shoes for this one occasion, but nothing fit. On the same day I managed to find myself a t-shirt that was marked down to $5.98.... I bought it, how could I not?

I also missed the opportunity to purchase myself a new pair of black dress shoes. I have a built in excuse, I really need something to go with the outfit I plan on wearing to the rehearsal dinner. All I had to do was find a pair that I liked, not a problem. I just couldn't seem to shake the price tag of the Munchkins new shoes while I was out shopping for me.... I would see really cute shoes for $55.00 and all I could think about was how much I could buy the Munchkin with that money.


5 packs of onesies -- She has outgrown her 12 month, plus it's time for short sleeves.

1 3/4 pairs of PediPeds -

25 bows for her hair -

A Pottery Barn Easter Basket - which I bought anyway

Lot's more spring/summer clothes -

Not to mention all of the other miscellaneous crap I'm sure I could fill my cart with in one quick trip to Babies R Us....

Maybe someone should start a support group....

Hi! I'm Angie and I'm a track suit wearing, spends all if the money on my child - a - holic.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Waiting On The Phone To Ring.

I hate waiting for the nurse to call back about a sick child... I feel the need to be a slave to the phone, hoping I won't miss the call that most times takes hours to receive.

I don't shower, I won't go poop, I don't do anything that involves being more than a few steps away from the phone.

My poor Munchkin has been running a fever since Saturday. I'm convinced it's this "Fever Virus' thing that is going around, she isn't showing any other symptoms, you wouldn't even know there was anything wrong with her unless you feel her little forehead.

Hopefully this will not result in a trip to the Doctors office for them to say: "It's a virus, nothing we can do, let it run it's course, $25.00 please!"

Sunday, March 11, 2007

"Lazy Housewife"

I'm so pathetic! My Munchkin is sick and napping. Hubby is out practicing his fly fishing, my house is a wreck and all I can seem to do is catch up on my Desperate Housewives. Thanks to Netflix, I have 3 dvds and I've almost watched them all. Is this so bad? The house is quiet, and all I want to do is NOTHING!!! Oh, and did I mention, I baked a batch of shamrock cookies to eat?

So get a good mental picture of me, in my jammies, eating shamrock cookies, watching my glorified soap opera! What a sight!

I'm a bum!

Saturday, March 10, 2007

10 Items, No Checks

What is wrong with people? Can't they read? My Sister and I went to pick up some snacks last night at the local grocery store. This store is ALWAYS packed, and I NEVER qualify for the express line, but this time I actually did.... After standing in line forever, I realized that I could have gone through the regular line 3 times before getting to check out in the "speedy line".

The hold up? A couple who obviously can't read or count. Maybe they had 10 items when they first got there, but after leaving the line, Yes, leaving the line, to go and get a few things they had "forgotten", they ran the poor cashier back and forth wanting their Black and Mild cigars, then complained that they were too expensive, and sent her back for regular cigarettes instead. Once they finally had their "more than 10 items" scanned, they argued about the prices, tried to write a check that couldn't be cashed and ended up leaving without their groceries.....

When the cashier was asked: "Why were they allowed to write a check?" (like that was the only thing wrong here) she replied: "Because they will complain to the Manager, so the Manager said let them do it"

So this begs the question, is it better to piss off a line full of people, or one couple who's business you didn't get anyway?

I know the answer, do you?

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Do You Poop Alone?

Not real sure what started this conversation today, but it's something that I have come to realize now with a toddler - I most likely will not be able to poop alone again for a long while. There is not much I can do by myself anymore, but not only do I have a little person hanging out with me in there, but this little person likes to talk about what Ma-Ma is doing... Write this down now, because I'm telling you that it is going to serve as major embarrassment to me in the near future... Ma-Ma Poop! Ma-Ma Tee-Tee! This is what I hear every time I take a trip to the bathroom.

Hubby and I have been married for almost 13 years, so pooping alone has been unheard of for a while now. (Sorry if this is too much information) I know couples that don't even fart in front of each other, but come on!!! Sometimes that's the only time I can get his "almost" undivided attention.. I guess that's how the Munchkin feels, a captive audience.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

See Ya' Later Alligator (skin)

I've been a tanning addict for most of my adult life. I started going to the tanning bed when I was a junior is high school and have gone off and on until today.

I have not tanned in a while and usually do so, only for special occasions - this special occasion would be Sister's Wedding - I bought my package and started tanning about 2 weeks ago, Hubby was not thrilled about this. He always warns me of the dangers and is afraid that I'm going to get sucked back into my addiction. I have had several moles removed that were questionable and my father has had a few spots of his own removed, Hubby is worried and rightly so. I of course think I'm invincible, we are all going to die from something, most likely, some form of cancer. Wow! what a stupid way to think.

I recently read the blog of a friend of mine that is beating breast cancer and is my age with 2 beautiful children. She just underwent genetic testing that was negative, meaning that no mutation was detected. It is my understanding that this is done to determine the odds of you passing this along to your children. It was the comment that she made after this negative test result that really hit me:

"That is good, because I do have two girls, but bad because now I feel like I can blame irresponsible lifestyle for my cancer"

Could it be any more clear? The choice I make every time I lay down in that tanning bed is irresponsible and I know it - so, my days of tanning are over.

I want to live a long, healthy life and I don't want my Grandchildren mistaking me for a leather hand bag!!!