Saturday, December 30, 2006

Krazy for Krispy Kreme

Since Krispy Kreme had been on my mind for several days, Hubby and I decided this morning that we would pull ourselves together and take Munchkin out for her first taste of those, little, doughy, glazed pieces of heaven. I had a passing thought while getting the diaper bag ready, should I take a banana? Who did I really think I was kidding? A place full of sugar, sprinkles, cream stuffed, iced, glazed, lemon filled doughnuts and I thought my child might want her banana???? So much for any wishes of a balanced breakfast today.

For fear that she might explode from the sugar rush, I decided to start her out on just a plain cake doughnut, once she breezed through that one, I realized quickly that she was a natural, ready for the "Original". I pulled off a few bites of a glazed, laid it in front of her and it was on!!! It was like baby crack, she got this crazed look in her eye, and immediately started signing and saying "mo, mo, mo" and reaching for the box... The sugar had officially kicked in, and she was looking for her next hit. Mommy becomes the dealer. I continued to feed her addiction for a few more minutes, before finally cutting her off at 1 cake, and almost 1 glazed.

We ran some errands right after, and she was probably just about as cute as she's ever been, in her carseat just rambling on, saying nothing, but everything. So, if you ever need your child to have a little energy, may I suggest a Krispy Kreme?

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Merry "Rushmas"

Another holiday, another palooza around town. As I'm posting this, it is 11:15pm on Christmas Eve. We have 3 rounds of gatherings behind us, and with our Christmas to each other, my Aunts house, and Hubby's fathers all tomorrow, we still have 3 rounds to go.

There are brownies in the oven, a mashed potato casserole to make and thank goodness, Santa has already been down our chimney tonight.. Oops, to bad the brownies weren't ready. Oh well, there's always next year!

Merry Christmas to everyone! Hope Santa is good to you all!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Hunger Strike Ends, Toddler Healthy

A Birmingham Toddler is healthy and strong today, despite her 9 day hunger strike. Sources say that the strike started when the Toddler was diagnosed last week with croup. Details aren't clear on why she chose to continue refusing all foods that did not resemble little, orange fish, but it is thought that she was upset over a misunderstanding involving the new TMX Elmo.

The Mother of the toddler was quoted as saying "She was always such a good eater, it was a shock when she turned down her pancake and banana several mornings in a row. I just kept telling myself, if she gets hungry enough, she will eat". Sources say that the Mother was diligent in her efforts to make sure the toddler had plenty of options available.

The hunger strike came to an end last night when the Toddler decided to accept the beans and rice offered to her at a local Mexican restaurant. The Toddler has refused to comment on her reasons for ending the strike, for fear it may compromise any future negotiations.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

A Penis, On My Forehead?

This is the question I'm asking myself lately. It seems as if one has magically appeared on my head, and I didn't know it was there. Am I the only one who can't see it? Let me explain...

I was in a local bookstore yesterday looking for a Christmas gift for Hubby. I have the title and author of the book I'm wanting to purchase. The only help desk I see happens to also be the check out. Surly they don't expect me to stand in the check out line to ask a question. So, I see a lady that is opening boxes and stocking shelves. I stop to ask if she could point me in the right direction, and there it is. "The Look". She honestly looked at me like I had a penis on my forehead. You know this look, the one that is meant to say, "How would I know?", "You're bothering me, go away!" or
"What the Heck?" (You could also insert the "F-word" here, because I have family that reads, I'll keep it clean). "The Look" is then followed by a snide comment, "Ma'am, I wouldn't know, you will have to ask Customer Service". To which I replied, "I'm sorry, the nametag threw me, I thought you worked here...."

I do stand in line and get the info from another lady that wasn't really friendly either. They didn't have the book in stock which is fine, I hate giving my money to rude people!

This look also occurred the other night when Hubby and I ate dinner with some friends at a local Thai restaurant. Evidently it's not a "kid friendly" place at 8:00pm on a Saturday night. Even Hubby noticed "The look" when we walked into the place. Here we are, 4 adults, 2 highchairs, and the penis on my head... Get over yourselves people. Your part of town is not as cool as you think. I am very aware of how my child is behaving, and I'm probably more sensitive about her being disruptive than you are. So eat your sashimi, keep your "looks" to yourself and let me enjoy a night out with my friends.

So I beg of you, the next time you see me, if there is a protrusion coming from my forehead, please tell me. A girl really needs to know these things!

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Zoolight Hell!

Now that we have Munchkin, we find ourselves participating in things that never sparked an interest in us before. Some things are obvious, storytime at the local library, playdates, inflatable jumping places, but we are now Members of our local Zoo. With this membership, we are able to visit the Christmas light extravaganza at no additional charge..... and it's a good thing. We really weren't impressed. At all!

Maybe as Munchkin gets a little older things will change, but this year it was much ado about nothing, in my opinion. We chose Saturday because the weather has been warmer, and coming off of our croup seclusion we thought it would be better than going when the weather changes, and it's 20 degrees outside. We pull in, and the place is packed!!!! I've never been so surprised to see so many locals supporting an event like this, it's not typically in our nature. After searching for what seemed like forever for a parking place, we were able to walk right up to the member window and get our tickets, talk about a perk. The lines for tickets were easily taking another 30-45 minutes. Once inside we realize that it's nothing more than when our parents took us driving through neighborhoods, looking at Christmas lights when we were little. Only this time, we had to walk and it smelled like a zoo!

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Munchkin + Croup = Tired Mommy

It started Monday with a sound coming through the monitor that I had never heard before. It sounded like some animal had made it's way into Munchkins room and was barking into the speaker. After a few quick "barks" that kind of mimicked a seal, we hear the crying. Hubby and I rush up to Munchkins room and she was a sad site. Her fever was over 101, so I knew it wasn't teething, plus the weird cough. After a couple of hours swaying, rocking, bouncing, and cuddling her, we (I) gave up and settled in with her on the sofa, hoping she would go to sleep, and to my surprise she did. I then thought it would be a brilliant idea to move to our bed, very bad idea! Not only did she wake up as soon as I laid her down, we then woke Hubby. When it was apparent that Munchkin had no intention of making this easy for all of us, Hubby decided there was no point in all three of us missing our sleep, he moved to the sofa... Swaying, rocking, bouncing, I finally got her to sleep. Which is great except, I'm so aware of her every move that I find it difficult to catch some zzzz's of my own.

This is the first time that she has ever slept in our bed. This was just a habit that we never wanted to start, and don't plan on continuing. Desperate times, desperate measures... Never say never, Blah, Blah, I know!

A not so quick trip to our Pediatrician confirmed that the "seal-like barking" was indeed Croup. It just sounds like something that you don't want to get. A couple more sleepless nights on the sofa (Me and Munchkin this time), and we are finally through the worst of it.... I hope!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my child on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my own doctor's, and sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground.
I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my daughters red
crayon, on the back of a receipt, in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the
next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year, I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music;
television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals;

A refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence,
along with child that won't talk back and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Pick up your toys", because my voice seems to be just out of my childs hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to
declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely.

It would be helpful if you could coerce my child to help around the house without demanding payment as if she were the
boss of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my daughter saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think she wants her crayon back.

Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in to dry off so you don't catch cold.
Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always,


Sunday, December 10, 2006

Oh, Snap!

What a slap in the face! And before you even ask, yes, things have been very slow around here. So I will report, Mr. Rodriquez has turned down the coaching job for UA....... Wow! Did anyone see that coming? Again, I must say, Can't they just leave well enough alone? Seems to me that the one that needs to be replaced is Mr. Mal Moore.

Coachless in Tuscaloosa, that should be the new headline for all of the media.

Went to a birthday party last night for our friends 3 year old little girl. They had it at one of those big inflatable, jumping places. What we learned.... Munchkin is not that adventurous, Hubby is still a big kid.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Does Yours Have A Name?

The time has come to give our "private parts" their own little nickname. I'm having a really hard time with all of the choices that there are these days. Seems like we always called ours, Tee-Tee or Pee-Pee... But, I feel this may cause some confusion since this is also something that you do. Munchkin seems to be a little distracted during bathtime now, trying to figure what all she has going on south of her "Bee-Bo" (belly button, in case you didn't know). I've been thinking about all of the names I hear...

Coopie, this one pairs with "Hangdown Coopie" for those of you looking for something different to call your sons willie...

And then I think, do we really have to make up some cutsy, little, code name because we are too embarrassed to call it what it is? VAGINA, there I said it! But, on the flip side of that, do I really want my Munchkin being the one in class saying, "boy's have a penis, and girls have a vagina! There, I said it again.

Oh, the decisions that come with motherhood! I guess as long as she keeps her "Hoo-Ha" covered, all is well.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Grocery Store Bagger, Dirty Drunk

It's only really happened twice since Munchkin has been around. And I must start this by saying, that I have been a pretty chilled out "Rookie-Mom". I've never really freaked out on anyone for wanting to get close to, or even touch her, but these guys completely crossed the line.

The first happened a month or so ago while getting groceries. At this store, they hire special needs people to help bag and walk you to your car. I've never really cared for the help to my car, I feel bad that they aren't allowed to accept tips, plus I'm a little quirky about putting my bags in the back. Anyway, one day after telling them I didn't need any help, this bagger proceeds to take my buggy while I was getting my receipt, Munchkin and all. I hurry to grab the cart and "help" him guide it through the parking lot and to my car. While I'm unlocking and opening the tailgate, he has taken Munchkin out of the buggy and that's when I freaked! I, believe it or not, calmly said Um, NO! And took her.... I thought about calling the store and complaining to the Manager, but I was really afraid that he would get fired. I let it go, and am very careful now to see who's bagging in which line, and I NEVER let go of the buggy.

The second incident happened just last night, Hubby and I took Munchkin up to a local Mexican restaurant. As we are eating, we notice this very drunk, and I mean stumbling drunk, guy walking around the restaurant. As Munchkin usually does to everyone in public, she looks up at him, smiles and says Hi! He then decided it would be alright to pat her on the head, only this time, Hubby was all over it. He grabbed the guys arm, as I was reaching for Munchkin. I'm sure this guy meant no harm, but this is how bad things happen...... Hubby spoke with the Manager on the way out, and confirmed that this guy did have a ride home. It's pretty insane to think about these people behind the wheel of a car.

It's obvious in these situations, but where do you draw the line? The little old lady in the mall, the server at your favorite restaurant. If it's hard for me to decide who's "OK" and who's not, how will ever teach her?

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Sha, Sha, Sha, Shula!

What kind of obnoxious Auburn fan would I be if I let this pass, without so much as a post on my blog?

Let's see, where do I start? How about how funny I think it is that the "prestigious", "most coveted", so on, and, so on, coaching position in the country is vacant right now, and no one seems to want it!!! Come on now, did you really think that STEVE SPURRIER was coming to Tuscaloosa? Funny how every single Alabama fan I know, has had nothing but vile things to say about Spurrier, what an A$$ he is, and how much they hate him. Then, all of the sudden, there are reports that his wife is in T-town looking for property to purchase, and he's the new head coach for UA. Funny how the fans were excited about that possibility - Spurrier, ready to slip on those shoes and carry on the "Tradition" that was set by the good, Ole Bear Bryant. Shoes that seem impossible to fill, just ask the past coaches.... Dubose, Coach Fran, Price and now Shula.
Four coaches, seven years? Can't you leave well enough alone? Give someone a chance, don't just dispose of them because they can't turn your program around in the blink of an eye..... Where was Arkansas last year? I think they finished something like 4-7, Did Nutt lose his job? No, and this year they played for the SEC Title and got legitimate nods for the National Title. Instead of paying Shula the $61,000 per month for the next 5 years to do nothing, you could be spending that money to pay your players... just kidding. Bama would never do that!

I guess I shouldn't really care so much. The longer they go without a coach, the funnier I think it is. Sick, I know. But I will say this in closing,

So long Shula, I will truly miss my "eye-candy" on the sidelines. You actually made it tolerable to sit and watch a Bama game. Best wishes to you and your newest adventure, I heard that "Shula's" makes a great steak!